EXT. DRESS SHOP – DAY

A big bright and beautiful dress shop.

NARRATOR (V/0):

In this shop at Darkley Noone , it's all peace and quiet. (The alarm wails). Oh, no. What the hell is going on?

Three girls (who are Vicky Pollard's gang) manage to run out with a dress each.

INT. DRESS SHOP – DAY

Vicky Pollard is standing in the corner of the shop and is being inspected by a Security Officer (played by David Walliams). He takes the dresses she's holding and inspects them.

OFFICER:

Did you really think you could sneak out like that, Miss Pollard?

VICKY:

No, but yeah, but no, but yeah, but no because I'll tell you this whole story right. You know Jane… (Officer shakes his head). Well, Jane is well-respected at school all because she's a nice girl but she can't look after herself, let alone carry her own bag, who I consider to be a spoilt brat!

OFFICER:

What has that got to do with stealing dresses?

VICKY:

I'm getting there, so shut up! Well, because I want to go out with Gordon Henry, who is the sexiest boy in the world so, when I wear this dress, I can make him wank him in underpants. If not, I'd just go with Kenny Redgrave, who is a complete losing bastard who's as stupid as he looks.

OFFICER:

I'm going to let you off now. But, if you ever come back here again, I will arrest you and hold you in prison for the rest of your life.

VICKY:

ALL RIGHT! Good riddance to this shop anyway, who is a place of horse shit anyway!

OFFICER:

Just piss off, will you?

Vicky gives him a finger and storms off, as the Officer stares after her.

VICKY:

You fancy me, don't you?

She exits.