EXT. DRESS SHOP – DAY
A big bright and beautiful dress shop.
In this shop at Darkley Noone , it's all peace and quiet. (The alarm wails). Oh, no. What the hell is going on?
Three girls (who are Vicky Pollard's gang) manage to run out with a dress each.
INT. DRESS SHOP – DAY
Vicky Pollard is standing in the corner of the shop and is being inspected by a Security Officer (played by David Walliams). He takes the dresses she's holding and inspects them.
Did you really think you could sneak out like that, Miss Pollard?
No, but yeah, but no, but yeah, but no because I'll tell you this whole story right. You know Jane… (Officer shakes his head). Well, Jane is well-respected at school all because she's a nice girl but she can't look after herself, let alone carry her own bag, who I consider to be a spoilt brat!
What has that got to do with stealing dresses?
I'm getting there, so shut up! Well, because I want to go out with Gordon Henry, who is the sexiest boy in the world so, when I wear this dress, I can make him wank him in underpants. If not, I'd just go with Kenny Redgrave, who is a complete losing bastard who's as stupid as he looks.
I'm going to let you off now. But, if you ever come back here again, I will arrest you and hold you in prison for the rest of your life.
ALL RIGHT! Good riddance to this shop anyway, who is a place of horse shit anyway!
Just piss off, will you?
Vicky gives him a finger and storms off, as the Officer stares after her.
You fancy me, don't you?