Title: Private Lessons

Category: Glee

Genre: Drama/Romance/Angst

Ship: Rachel/Puck - mentions of Finn/Rachel, Puck/Quinn, Finn/Santana, Puck/Santana, Finn/Quinn.

Word Count: 2244

Rated: M

Summary: Rachel's romantic fantasy once again crashes and burns so she seeks out knowledge she lacks from a top teacher. Set during the summer after 'Journey'.

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING.

Chapter 1.

If there was one thing Rachel Berry knew in her sixteen years of life, it was that when she was happy, especially with her love life, life would turn around and slap her with a reality check. A cosmic form of pulling her pants down, telling her to get real: "You're Rachel Berry and maybe one day you'll be famous, have awards, adorning fans and men falling at your feet, but right now, you're Rachel Berry, loser in high school, gleek and if you can get anyone to even look your way, it will blow up in your face. Big. Time."

She really should have known better, her short but humiliating history should have prepared her or at least made her cautious for that proverbial all too big shoe to drop right on her head. Her first go around with Finn had been nothing but a ploy to get her back in Glee, flirting with false possibilities before being left to stand alone as he walked away hand in hand with his perfect girlfriend.

With Noah…well even now she wasn't sure what she and Noah had shared in their short time together. She only knew that her thoughts would stray to him when she least expected it and that their break-up had stung more than it should have for two people who were in it to distract themselves.

And Jesse. God! Just thinking of him filled her with unbearable sadness and anger. So when Finn proclaimed he loved her, she should have seen the neon red warning sign flashing, screaming at her to turn back right then and there! Humiliation and pain were up ahead. But like the hopeless dreamer she was, she had once again walked into a relationship blinded by her own naiveté.

The pretty fairy tale she had woven lasted a month. Regionals had come and gone without a victory but Glee still stood standing which in the end had mattered surprisingly to her more than winning a trophy. Classes had ended and her summer had started with friends to hang out with and with a boyfriend at her side, a first in her world. That world was now crumbing under her feet as she stood outside on Tina's patio, hidden by the darkness of the night from the two people before her.

She watched almost disconnected from the situation as the pretty Latina kissed her boyfriend, she watched the way he kissed her back for a moment before he gripped her shoulders and pushed her away from him gently.

"Sans we can't do this, Rachel…" She heard him say and she breathed a little easier. Maybe it wasn't as bad as her mind was telling her.

"Rachel is inside." She could deal with this, it was Santana initiating this.

"She's my girlfriend, I care about her." Her Finn wouldn't do this to her.

"Does she know, Finn?" It would be okay.

"Sans…" If she left now her world could stay the way it was. Intact.

"Does she know that you lost your virginity to me while she was with Jesse?"

"No, and she's never going to know, I'm sorry, Sans." He answered, placing a soft kiss on her mouth that lingered and walked away, leaving an upset Santana standing alone, never knowing he had hurt more than one girl with his words and actions. Rachel watched as Santana brought her hand to wipe away an angry tear that had worked its way down her cheek, covering her mouth so the girl couldn't hear her own sobs.

She waited until Santana walked back into the house before she walked out of the shadows, going to the railing, she gripped it tight to keep from screaming, the wood biting into her skin as it turned white from the pressure. He had lied to her when she had asked about him and Santana he had lied. She had lied, too, she remembered, but his lie seemed so much worse. She had thought that they were on equal footing. Her mind had created a fairytale moment where they would come together and take that oh so important step for the first time… together.

Now though, all she could picture was Finn and Santana, Finn kissing her, Finn touching her. All the things that Santana had probably taught him, things she knew nothing about. No, and she's never going to know. He had no intention of telling her; if and when they slept together, he intended to keep her in the dark.

"I'm sorry."

Rachel whipped around at the soft voice and found Quinn looking at her warily.

"I heard them, too." Quinn answered at Rachel's questioning gaze. "I'm sorry, Rachel."

"You're sorry," Rachel answered bitterly finding an outlet for the sadness and the anger that was quickly building. "Shouldn't you be laughing at my expense? My boyfriend obviously finds it very easy to lie to me, the sexpot of our little group is after him and I'm supposed to compete with that? You should be rolling on the floor, laughing."

"A year ago I would have." Quinn answered truthfully, coming to lean on the railing the way Rachel was.

"A lot has changed, are you okay?"

Rachel tried to keep from crying again but couldn't stop the way her eyes filled, blurring her vision. "No, how am I suppose to measure up to Santana and her sexual experiences?"

"You don't, Rachel, Finn doesn't care about that."

"But I do!" She exclaimed. "We were supposed to be the same, coming into this relationship and now, we're worlds apart and he's lying!"

"Rachel…"

"I need to level the playing field."

Quinn stared at the girl, surprised at the vehemence in the brunette's voice. "Rachel, don't do something you'll regret."

"I need to go," She said standing up. "Quinn, please don't tell anyone about this."

"Okay," Quinn answered, sighing as she took in the resolved look in Rachel's eyes. "I'll make something up about why you had to leave."

"Thank you," Rachel whispered and on impulse hugged the blonde girl. "Bye."

"Bye," Quinn said softly, watching as Rachel left quickly. "This is going to be ugly."

xxx

Noah Puckerman laid in his bed, staring up at his ceiling; it was late and he could hear his little sister taking advantage of the fact that their mother was working the late shift at the hospital by watching TV downstairs. His phone chirped for the fourth time in the night and he ignored it; he knew that it was one of his friend's texting him to come over but like every other time this summer, he ignored the invitation the gleeks offered.

He was grateful, even though, he would never admit it out loud that they were extending the hand out to him after everything that happened with him, Quinn and Beth. But being around them just seemed to remind him of how different and uncomfortable things were.

Quinn and he, while in a better place, weren't together, something that he knew deep down was for the best. He loved her, she was the beautiful blonde that had given him a daughter, he would always love her as the mother of his child, but he wasn't in love with her. Not to say that he would kick her out of his bed but even that had changed, he couldn't see Quinn as just a girl he wanted to bed. Fact was since his little girl was born, he couldn't seem to discard girls as easily as he could before, leaving him with a weird sense lost of identity.

If he wasn't Puck, bad-ass, cougar chasing sex god, then who was he?

It didn't help that lately his focus had been placed on one girl with long tan legs and pouty pink lips soft as silk that seem to invade his dream, leaving him frustrated. Rachel Berry. He still wasn't sure when she had come onto his radar but he remembered after they had lost Regionals and he had lost Beth as he and Mr. Schuester played together for the group he had looked over at her, the sight of her head on his former best friend's shoulder had annoyed him in a way that surprised him. Since then, his thoughts seem to drift from the short time they dated with their hot make outs to the fact that now Finn knew the way she sounded when she moaned. The territorial part of his brain telling him his ex-buddy had no right since he had been her boyfriend's friend, the hypocrisy of the thought not lost on him.

It was crazy! Which he guessed, shouldn't have surprised him since the person in question was half crazy herself and was now making him crazy.

He remembered the last time he saw her, after everyone had left the Glee room; he had remained with the excuse of packing up his guitar, instead he had stayed strumming a familiar tone. He sensed the moment he wasn't alone with his misery and had turned around to find her standing by the door with understanding but cautious expression.

** "Hi."

He nodded at her. "Berry."

She walked further into the room coming to sit next to him. "That's pretty."

"In my arms." He responded, continuing with the melody.

"By Plumb," She finished, humming out a few of the words. 'Your baby blue so full of wonder, your curly cues, your contagious smile…and as I watch you start to grow up…'

"I thought it would have been a good song to sing to Beth as she went to sleep." Puck said, clearing his throat as the words seem to have trouble coming out.

"I'm sure she would have liked that."

"Do you think Shelby will sing to her?" He spoke quietly, watching as hurt and sadness washed over her face before a resigned smile worked its way over her lips.

"I know so," Rachel said just as softly. "But, Noah, that doesn't mean you can't still sing it to her, even if she's not here."

Getting up, she leaned over and gave him a feather-light kiss across his cheek and walked out the door giving him his privacy. **

Aggravation built on his shoulders at the memory until he couldn't lay still, forcing him to jump out of his bed and pace around his room like a caged animal. Her kiss had lingered until he couldn't escape the truth, he wanted her. He wanted her and she was with Finn. Fuck his life.

"Hi."

Puck swirled around at the voice and for a moment wondered if he really was crazy cause there was no way Rachel Berry was in his room at eleven o'clock at night.

"Puck?"

He stared at her a few more minutes and watched as she fidgeted in his doorway. Realizing she wasn't a figment of his imagination, he nodded at her in acknowledgement. "Berry. What are you doing here, how did you get in here?"

"Your sister let me in." Rachel explained as she took a step to the side as he rolled his eyes and walk toward and past her to yell from the top of the stairs.

"SARAH, WHAT HAVE I SAID ABOUT OPENING THE DOOR TO STRANGERS?"

"RACHEL IS NOT A STANGER," was the answer he got back from downstairs.

Rolling his eyes again, Puck murmured a 'whatever' as he walked back into his room to find Rachel looking around as she stood in the center of it.

"What can I do for you, Berry?" He said much more casually than he was feeling as he sat back on his bed.

"Finn slept with Santana when I was with Jesse." She blurted out and he found himself raising an eyebrow. Truth be told, he wasn't surprised. He knew Santana well enough to know when she wanted something, she got it.

"Okay."

"I found out tonight when I saw them kissing."

"Okay." He repeated and waited for her to continue; when she remained silent he started to get the picture and while the bottom half of his body perked up, the rest of him was left confused. "So you came here for what? A little payback?"

"No." She hedged.

"You sure about that, Rachel?" he asked, standing up now, annoyed. "You sure you don't want to stick it to Finn and figured that coming here and starting something would be a good way to hurt him back."

"He kissed her back!" Rachel shouted, clenching her fist.

"So you do want to hurt him." Puck goaded, getting in her face.

"He told her that he couldn't because I was his girlfriend, not because he didn't want to and then kissed her again," her voice cracking as she spoke. "That means if I wasn't with him he could have continued kissing her."

"Rachel…what do you want from me, why are you here?" He asked, the anger had started dissolving at the sight of her glistening brown eyes.

"Santana knows what guys want."

Puck watched as Rachel struggled with her words and closed his eyes knowing what was coming next but not knowing how to stop it. Knowing that once she said it, he wouldn't be able to think of anything else but only what she was asking of him and offering to him.

"I want to know, too, I want to know what it's like to be with someone," she continued, her jaw squaring off. "And I want you to teach me."

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