**If you've seen something like this already on this site, Crazy Canadia would like to read it and make sure she didn't accidentally copy someone. Llamas with Hats is owned by Filmcow on YouTube. And the Baltics used in this story belong to H.H. Danke!**

Today, Eduard had just returned home from grocery shopping – because Raivis was too chicken to go by himself and Toris ran off to try and get up Natalia's skirt. (Although he always ends up in Feliks' bed...)

Estonia walked into the house and saw Ivan against the wall, lots of blood all over the place – and Latvia was standing in the room innocently as always.

"Latvia! There's a dead Russian in our house!" Estonia cried.

"Oh, heeeeyyyy how did he get here?" Latvia asked, still looking innocent.

"Laatviaaa, what did you do?"

"M-me? I didn't do this."

"Explain what happened Latvia!" Estonia pointed at the Russian (whose name was completely forgotten due to something going on.)

"I've never seen him before in my life!" Latvia blinked.

"Why did you kill this Russian, Latvia?"

"I do not kill Russians, that is – that is my least favorite thing to do."

"Tell me, Latvia, exactly what you were doing before I got home."

"Alright, well; I was upstairs –"


"- I was uh; I was sitting in my room –"


"- reading a book –"

"Go on."

"- and uh, well this Russian walked in- "


"- so I went up to him –"


"- and I uh stabbed him thirty seven times in the chest."

After a few seconds of silence, Estonia said, "Laaatviaaa that kills people!"

"Oh!" Latvia exclaimed, "Wow, I – I d- I didn't know that!"

"Laatviaa how could you not know that?"

"Hey, I'm in the wrong here, I suck."

"What happened to his hands?"

"What's that?"

"His hands, why – why are they missing?"

"Well I uh, I kinda cooked then up. And ate them."

Another few seconds of silence, "Laatviiiaaa!"

"Well I – I was hungry and, y'know, when ya crave hands that's –"

"Why on earth would you do that?"

"I was hungry for hands! Gimme a break!"


"My stomach was making the rumblies."


"That only hands would satisfy."

"What is wrong with you Latvia?"

"Well, I-I kill Russians and I eat hands that's – that's two things."

Toris then walked in the door, seeing Ivan on the floor and saying, "Eduard! There's a dead Ivan in our house!"

"Oh, hey, how did he get here?" Latvia asked.