A/N: Love to reviewers and Countess Black

I know I should be working on the Veela thing, but my personal life has gone to hell, and so I need something light right now.

This is Silence-verse. To make any sense at all, you'll need to read, at absolute minimum 'The Inner Workings of Death Eaters'.

To Whom it May Concern: Not that anyone will appreciate it, but I've stolen the hours of the latest meeting of the inner circle. Bellatrix has, somehow, invented a spell which enables all her remarks to come across precisely as she said it, which is to say a shriek comparable to those from the lowest bowels of Hell.

I demand to be sent on some sort of suicide mission before this becomes generally available. Bad enough to have to listen to the insipid maunderings of others while they're inflicting themselves on me, without having to hear them when they have left me in peace .

Severus Snape, Potions Master, Headmaster of Hogwarts School for Witchcraft, Wizardry, and dying before every idiot and his brother can talk at me whenever they like.

Meeting 7 March 1998

Present at the meeting:

Voldemort, Lord of Britain

Severus Snape

Lucius Malfoy

BELLATRIX LESTRANGE

Draco Malfoy

Narcissa Malfoy

Peter Pettigrew

Alecto Genevieve Carrow

Amycus Luther Carrow

Rodolphus Lestrange

Fenrir Greyback

Agenda:

Making of examples

Grovelling

Finding Potter

Continued debate on exact meaning of prophecy

Tea and cakes

-LM motioned that examples be made on a less porous surface, as the goblin rug was fading from repeated cleaning spelled. Suggested tiled room. (Denied)

-BL MOTIONED IT'S AN UGLY RUG ANYHOW. (Seconded RL, FG)

-LM motioned that this is irrelevant, and it's a perfectly fine rug (seconded NM, DM)

-BL MOTIONED THAT THEY GET ON WITH IT, YOU SMIRKING ARSE. IS NOT IS NOT IS NOT. (seconded FG)

-NM motioned that her husband is nothing of the sort (seconded DM)

-BL MOTIONED CISSY LOOKED PEAKY AND SHOULD GO LIE DOWN (seconded PP)

{After a brief scuffle, the fires being put out by house elves and the attending disarmed, the meeting continued.}

DM made supplication that Pansy Parkison be '...given a calming draught, or something, because she's almost mauled me twice just this passed week.'

AGM motioned that Draco should be flattered. (Seconded ALC).

DM motioned he'd rather dig out both eyes with a rusty fishhook (not seconded).

ALC motioned to perform an anatomically impossible act on DM. (Seconded BL, FG).

BL MOTIONED DRACO PREFERS PLAYING IN THE MUD (Seconded FG).

{ His Lordship restored order}.

Ideas generated for Potter's whereabouts:

-A MUDBLOOD CAVE WITH THAT SLUT HE RUNS ABOUT WITH AND THE STUPID LOOKING BOY AS WELL (Deferred for further study)

-Some sort of underwater mermaid fort-ALC (Inquiry ordered into a possible Potter-merperson connexion-possibly re: mudblood cave?)

-Muggle London-PP (Ordered to generate serious comments or leave)

-The moon, as muggles are well known to love that sort of thing (FG). (Everyone ordered to watch the sky carefully, just in case).

Further thought about the prophecy, specifically in regards to the 'Power the Dark Lord knows not'.

THE DARK LORD KNOWS ALL. HE SEES OUR HEARTS AND JUDGES US. (Nods all round.)

-Some sort of obscure animagus form-RL (Slugs ordered exterminated as a precaution, also local voles and shrews)

-AN ARMY OF CATS. (NM ordered to stop serving coffee after supper).

-Love-PP (Cruciated for continuing lack of seriousness).

- An enormous sling shot-FG (Pettigrew sent to obtain a sling shot for defence-growth spells being looked into).

To be addressed next meeting:

-'Mudblood cave'?

-Potter doesn't have gills.

-THAT WE KNOW OF.

-The moon is several billions kilometres from here, and is not broom accessible.

-YET.

-Wouldn't it be far more practical for Potter to put his energy into becoming something that moves faster than frozen treacle?

-Cats cannot be weaponised.

-How large a sling shot, and how would he carry it about?

-Also, is Madam Lestrange aware that both coffee and tea come in decaffeinated versions now?

-I'LL SWITCH IF SNAPE USES SHAMPOO OCCASIONALLY.

Tea and cakes