A/N: This is my first attempt at a fanfiction which is pretty obvious on a trip to my profile. I take constructive criticism extremely well. I want to expand my writing abilities, and this is a great forum to do that through.

Thanks to Readingmama for the catalyst for this story. Some the backstory inspiration came from her "All I Ever Wanted" (rated-M) The idea had been floating in my head for weeks. Months really. Since I first finished Breaking Dawn, I wondered if Rosalie would ever try to have her own child. Deep down, I don't think she would, but I wanted to play with the "what if…" I hope I do it justice.

Timeline: It's about 5 years post-Breaking Dawn, Renesmee is 5 years old, the Baby is born in Spring of 2013. (I'll provide timelines just to give everyone an idea of how old the baby is and Renesmee as well until they are full-grown. I know some want to hear a backstory to Kaitlyn. It will come but not until the very end. Very, very end. :)

Disclaimer: It's SM's world. I just enjoy playing there.


Life and Death

Darkness. Light. Death. Life. This was the paradox of events that characterized my first day of existence. The thing about half humans and half vampires is that the vampire nature is much stronger an influence than the human nature. As a result, my memory of those hours is crystal clear and remains so to this day.

I can still remember my mother's voice trembling as she talked to me during my development. I can't remember her words exactly, but the tone of her words will stay with me forever. She was in awe of what was happening to her mixed in with the incredulity of a world she never imagined. She surely knew that it was a vampire who seduced her, infused her womb with an alien being, and held her captive in the small apartment that was to become my delivery room a short month later. That would account for the fear that rippled through her body every time the two voices entered her hellish prison.

I've always wondered if she loved me or not. I can't imagine that she thought of me with love at any point of her last 33 days of life. Maybe I should say the last 33 days of her death because it's indisputable that as I grew, she died little by little. I know that some of the mothers of half-vampires did love their children regardless of the fact that the child would be their death. Do I fall in that category? I will never know. My mother died within a minute of my birth. I never knew her. There were the hazy memories of monologues like when you talk to someone in your sleep. You might remember the tenor of what you were feeling even if you can't quite recall the words.

When a human woman who carries a human child is ready to begin delivery, certain events take place. The fetus drops lower in the womb, the cervix ripens, and chemicals course through the baby and mother. The baby's body signals to the mother that his or her lungs are ready to operate, and the mother's body initiates the contractions that will welcome the child into the world.

When a half-vampire is ready to exit its womb, a type of rage occurs. Imagine the feeling of being trapped, restrained, as if your captor is deliberately pressing in on you forcing out air and sustenance- removing all ability to move, to breathe, or to draw energy from your dark world. The pressure is so great that instinct awakens, and you begin your fight for life. You thrash every way possible, twisting and pressing up with your feet feeling bones snap as you kick through the ribcage. Every tissue in your body is screaming for space and air despite the fact that these concepts are still foreign to you. The pain of suffocation builds like a tidal wave, but your physical strength is not enough to escape from this place. Instinct again directs your actions, and you begin to bite and tear your way free. Your arms and legs have already decimated the rigid structure of your surroundings, now your teeth slash through the warm, wet skin that encompasses you like a warm blanking- the sweet taste of blood on your lips.

You are fully aware that you're fighting the one who has sheltered you and given of her body so that you could form yours. It's not that you maliciously want to destroy her; you don't have a choice. It comes down to her life or yours, her death or yours, and we all know how fragile the human body is and how malleable it becomes in a vampire's grip- even one who hasn't yet begun to draw her own breath.

Before I even opened my eyes, the light behind my closed lids registered in my mind, and I knew that I had accomplished my mission. I took in my first gasp of air giving my body the sense of reprieve from my previous suffering. Cold hands lifted me from my shattered cage and twisted me around towards a soft covering. I caught one glimpse of a woman, golden tendrils of wet hair matted against her temples down to her chin. Beads of sweat covered her forehead, combined, and rolled down to mix with tears and fall upon her chest. Tremors began to rock her shoulders, and her shoulders sank dragging her head to the bed upon which she lay. Just before her eyes rolled up to behold that world by which only death can view, I caught the first color of my memory- crystal blue.

I left my mother mauled and bleeding and dying, not much more than a carcass dripping its last remaining drops of life on the floor- her heartbeat growing faint as I was taken from the room.

"What did you do? You were supposed to save her!"

"I tried. Her heart …"

"You should have tried harder!" Emmett raged back at her. His eyes narrowed, and he stepped back turning and slamming his fist through the wall. Expletives poured from his mouth. "We can't justify this! Do you think that living a thousand miles away will protect us? The wolves will see this as murder!" He swiped his fist through the wall turning it into kindling. He stormed back to her spitting venom in his words. Emmett stabbed his finger at his head. "You're. Not. Thinking! Not about us, not about Serenity, not to mention anyone else in our family!" Emmett leaned against the door and placed his head in his hand. "Why, Rose?"

"You weren't here, and the baby came sooner than we expected. It was almost out of her body when I got in here! I gave her the venom. I… I just didn't realize her heart had stopped."

Emmett exploded. "Don't lie to me! You're a vampire! You can hear an ant crawl across the floor, but you couldn't hear the girl's heart stop beating! Come on! I'm not stupid, Rosalie!" He picked up a wooden chair taking out his frustrations on it. There were only splinters left.

"I'm sorry," she replied dismissively, "but I was taking care of our daughter, Emmett. She was my priority. Not the human." Emmett paused for the space of a minute.

"Kaitlyn." Fatigue and resignation sagged in his voice aging him beyond his frozen years. "You of all people could respect her enough to call her by name."

Rosalie shifted the resting child to place her head on her shoulder. "We knew that this might happen. You knew that she could die. We made this choice, Emmett, both of us, and it was a wild stretch to think that the wolves would accept this."

His shoulders sagged, and he seemed so tired. "We had a loophole in the treaty." Emmett sighed and glanced at the rain pouring down on the Paris streets. "Yes, it was a stretch. But it was something." He sat at the small table looking even more like a giant in a child's playhouse. "Rosalie, the wolves…"

"We'll deal with the dogs together. Our family may not agree on our decision, but they will not abandon us." Rosalie's eyes cut to the right, and she was clearly trying to decide whether or not to tell Emmett some piece of information.

"What is it?" Emmett asked.

"Alice has seen us come home. She saw the confrontation. It's going to be okay." Rosalie paused for a moment. "She knows where we are; she called yesterday. Emmett, we can go home, or they can come find us." She walked over to him and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Let's leave. Let's just go home."

Emmett glanced at her hand and then back into her dark eyes. He saw his eyes reflected in the onyx of hers. He held her gaze for minutes searching her face for the answers to questions that he could not speak. Emmett wished that Edward were here to access Rosalie's thoughts right now. But really, was Edward actually necessary? Emmett was no mind reader, yet he knew exactly what thoughts were going through Rosalie's head. She had willfully and maliciously killed the girl. About this, he was certain.

"I'm going to clean this up and take care of her. Stay here with the baby." He turned and looked towards her, unable to meet her eyes this time. "I don't want you to come with me."

With that said, Emmett turned and left Rosalie standing alone with me, shock and hurt marring her features.

I heard every word.

A/N: I would love to hear your thoughts. I'm starting chapter 6 and trying to find a Beta. Thanks for reading!

Chapter 1