The Hueco Mundo Gazette, June 4
Final Newsletter! HMG Goes on Hiatus!
Dear Fabulous Readers,
The Hueco Mundo Gazette crew is sad to admit that this will be the last issue of Volume 7, and that The HMG will be going on a four day/one-week Hiatus! After one or so weeks, The HMG will return in a new "Newscast," as humans call it, format, called "Hueco Mundo Eyewitness News 5." Thank you for all of your support, readers! This issue will be dedicated to all of you wonderful, faithful Arrancar readers, and will include a thank-you letter, special acknowledgements from Aizen-sama, and the return of our beloved GIN ICHIMARU!
The HMG crew would like to thank the following:
Bob's Taco Shack, excellent caterers
Stretch E. Face, the plastic surgeon who helped Gin out
Britney Spears, who provided some good tunes for us when times were hard
Coyote Starrk, who mercifully kept Ulquiorra from annihilating Gin
Grimmjow, who gave us some interesting things to report on
John Doe, publisher
And most of all, YOU wonderful Arrancar who have stuck with us through this volume! Thanks, dudes!
A Word from Aizen
Hello, Arrancar who are weaker than Me (I capitalized 'Me' since I'm awesome),
I suppose I'm glad that you've supported this magazine thingy since it promotes my face and gives me money. Yeah, I'm a little thankful. Even thought this volume is coming to a close, keep in mind that you can still send your hard-earned money into me so I may spend it on pornography magazines! I accept twenties, fifties, hundreds, and checks of larger amounts, but I do NOT give change. In fact, I should make this a law! All Arrancar must send in a check of twenty dollars or more every week! MUAHAHAHA! I love ruling over people!
Preview of "Hueco Mundo Eyewitness News 5"
Hi, ladies, gentlemen, and less-than-straight guys, this is Gin Ichimaru from Hueco Mundo Eyewitness News 5, here reporting to YOU the juiciest news! Coming up this session:
-Taxidermists still rage in a fuming battle against former Espada Neliel Tu Oderschwank, claiming that her outfit is made out of the rare "Snuffleupagis fur". Who will win this frightening debate, and will the case go to court?
-Scandal! Espada Tia Harribel found guilty of false advertising!
-In a tragic game of "Ultimate Cero," Cuatro Espada Ulquiorra Cifer managed to "accidentally" blow Grimmjow's arm off again!
-Bob's Taco Shack finally admits to serving live Shinigami on Tuesday nights to local drug dealers!
All of this juicy news will follow after a short commercial break!
"It's the Final Countdown" *Cue Synthesizer* Bye, Readers!
Thank you once again, readers, for supporting the Hueco Mundo Gazette!
Gin Ichimaru, Newly-recovered Lead Journalist
Tesla Lindocruz, Supporting Journalist
Apache, Sun-Sun, and Mila Rose, Supporting Journalists
Charlotte Cuulhourne, Supporting Journalist
Lilynette Gingerback, Supporting Journalist
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the Hueco Mundo Gazette is finally coming to a close. Thank you all for your wonderful reviews, constructive criticism, and polite way of informing me of problems with me story! I'll miss writing this!
Don't worry, all of your favorite Arrancar will return in about five days in a new, newscast-like format. I hope you enjoy it :)
Please feel free to use your last review to tell me about what you thought about the entire story, and please share this with your BFFs, archenemies, and neighborhood hobos!
Also, a note about next time: I've been getting a few complaints that I was not including the Espada in my stories enough, and I will definitely do that next time!
Now, finally, a wrap up with all of my disclaimers:
Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo
Achmed the Dead Terrorist belongs to Jeff Dunham
Percy Jackson belongs to Rick Riordan
Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling
Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba
I think that's all...phew! Well, it's been a pleasure writing for you :)
In five days,