ok so this is my alternate ending to new moon. I don't know if i should continue so please review and tell me if i should continue. i already have this story up to chapter 6 (i've been itching to write chapter 7 but haven't had the time!) and i posted it on another site but i didn't get any readers. so tell me if i should continue...
Finally, after the many months of pain, the hole is gone. Almost, but not quite, I'm healed. The hole in my chest seemed to have disappeared completely. But now that we stare at danger in the face, fear swells up in my chest. It was intoxicating my every nerve, reaching out to my heart, and wrapping around my mind. It wasn't fear of death. I was certain that I wouldn't die. It wasn't that kind of fear at all.
It was the fear of going back into my previous pain. If I ever went through what caused my pain again I was certain that I would be un-healable. The pain wouldn't ever lessen because there was always going to be that doubt. My newly powerful brain would never forget the pain and my heart would be destroyed. Of that I was certain.
I watched as he approached me with diabolical red eyes. Red eyes that I will surely never forget.
CHAPTER 1- DECISIONS, DECISIONS
I was running and it felt as if my lungs were going to explode. But I had to keep going. The rest of the Cullens were counting on me and I knew I couldn't let them down. But could it be possible that as I ran I seemed to feel better? That my heart was keeping up with me even though my lungs weren't? It's been months since I last saw Edward and the thought of him being so close yet so far away was heartbreaking and yet it seemed healing. The hole in my chest seems to be getting smaller and smaller with each step I take. Subconsciously, my mind also seemed to be protecting itself just in case he still didn't want me.
The blinding sun has made it quite impossible to see. It was then that I scraped my knees on something and I almost fell due to the impact. It was then that I noticed that it was a small fountain that halted my advances. As I looked around, it seemed as if the crowd was getting bigger and trying to swallow me in. And then I saw Edward. My heart started accelerating and it seemed to want to sing and jump out of my chest on to him. I was marveling at his beauty until I saw him take his shirt off and then I knew why I was here. I jumped into the fountain and started sprinting as fast as I could. I only managed to jump at the other end in time. Just as I got out of the fountain I heard the bell of the clock tower announce that it was already noon. I looked back at Edward and he had closed his eyes and was about to take a step further.
Before I could start panicking I ran towards him and I knew the impact would leave me bruised, but I was already in critical condition inside. I was about to weave my arms around him and get him to move until I felt him gone. I started looking around to see where he had gone. It was in that instant that I felt arms around me and rush me somewhere. I couldn't see because we were moving too fast, but the arms around me felt hard and icy. From what I could see, this vampire was dressed all in black and had black leather gloves on his hands.
"Welcome, welcome dearest Bella!" A voice I didn't recognize spoke as if we were old friends. I took stock of my surroundings and I saw Edward in a headlock by a really muscular vampire- I supposed it was a vampire since a human couldn't hold Edward and not be struggling. He seemed to be about the same size of Emmett, probably even bigger than him. I also saw Alice off to the side with a small boy. Or was it a girl. The features were too girlish so that answered my question.
"Look at my wonderful sister," another voice said, "Aro sends for one and she brings back two and a half." Ice locked around my heart and I could feel my palms sweating. In that instant I knew I was about to die. It wasn't fair! I was so close to Edward and I didn't even have a chance to touch him.
Just then, the vampire that had welcomed me stood before me. I saw that his eyes were almost black, but there was a hint of red in them too. I noticed that these vampires didn't live my vampires' lifestyle.
"Demetri, please show my dear Isabella your manners. I would hate for her to get a bad impression of us. That goes for you too, Felix. Edward has been through enough these last couple of days, and I would hate for him to feel even more uncomfortable." The vampire in front of me announced. I was immediately let go and I felt someone standing beside me. Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close. Due to his lack of shirt, I could feel every plane of his chest and stomach against my ribs. I rested my head on his shoulder and resisted the urge to inhale his scent. The situation didn't need to become more awkward.
"No. I've never been able to read her thoughts. I don't think you could either." Edward murmured an unspoken question in Aro's head while I was left dazed by his voice. Not even my illusions of him captured his voice completely.
"Well, could I try?" Aro asked eagerly."
"Ask her." Edward answered.
"Oh, yes. Forgive me, Isabella. May I?" He held out his hand to me and looked at me expectantly. I looked at Edward and he nodded at me- probably to encourage me on. I lifted my hand and placed it in his. He immediately bowed his head and placed his other hand over mine. Due to the long absence of vampires and the closeness with Jacob, his skin was especially icy. I almost gasped when his hands touched mine, but I resisted the urge.
"Humph. How strange," Aro muttered. Edward snorted at him and said, "I told you so."
My chest ached as I remembered the last time I heard 'him' say that. His arm tightened around me in comfort, but it didn't ease all of the pain. I didn't know if he would stay with me or not and who knows when we'll be by ourselves again. I heard a door behind me open and then slammed. I jumped a little due to the silence in the room. Edward stiffened beside me and I glanced behind me. Felix had Alice's hands behind her back. In one hand and he had his other arm around her neck.
"Aro would you please tell Felix to respect a lady and touch her with care!" Alice complained.
Aro finally dropped my hands and flitted to Felix's side. Edward turned us around a bit to stare at Alice. Alice stood timidly in front of Aro as Felix let her go. She seemed to be concentrating on something really hard. I felt Edward tense and relax several times. I guessed she was filling him in on what I told her. I sighed, probably a little too loud and Edward pulled me into a hug immediately and kissed my head gently. He let me go, only to leave his arm around me.
"Hello, Alice. How are you doing today?" Aro asked. His eyes looked almost greedy when he talked to her. I wondered when they have met before. I looked at Edward curiously but his jaw was locked as he glared at Aro.
"Hello Aro. I'm doing fine. I was just a bit worried by Edward earlier and I only wanted to come bring him home until your guy over there just dragged me inside. I'm afraid I'll have to file a complaint. He was very rude," Alice stated, "So if you don't mind me, I'm just going to pick up Edward and Bella and we'll just be on our way. Have a good afternoon."
"Not so fast. I think that we should chat for a while. There are many decisions to be made and I don't want you missing any of it. Come now."
"I'm sorry, but we really can't. Carlisle and Esme are already worried about us, and I don't want to strain them more." Alice's voice took on a bit of an edge at the end.
"Oh, but we won't take but a few hours of your time. Felix, close the door, please." Aro turned back to us and went over to the small girl's side. He whispered something to her ear that made Edward's back tense up. By the time I blinked, my back was against his and I was staring at Alice, her eyes wide and distant. Edward growled a loud "NO!" and was hissing at Aro. Alice flitted over to his side and he looked at her. "Calm down. She'll be ok." Alice whispered to him. He calmed down slightly but still held me behind him.
"Jane's gift doesn't work on Isabella?" Aro asked skeptically. Jane was in front of me in that instant and just stared at me. A huge grin spread over her face as she stared at me. Edward turned around to face me and asked, "You don't feel any pain right now?"
"Should I?" I asked in a small voice. His eyes moved over to Jane's and her smile was gone. In it's place was a face of outrage. Aro barked a loud, hysterical laugh.
"Well, Isabella, you really have surprised us all. I wonder how strong you'll be as one of us," he trailed off. "I would discuss this right now with my brothers, but as you see they are not present. They're around here in the building but they are taking care of another matter. So, I'll have to decide on my own. Edward, will you change her into a vampire yourself, or are you still opposed to the idea?"
His jaw was rigid and his back became tense. Indecision was clear on his face. He glanced down at me and stared at me for a long time until I broke the silence. "Will you change me?" I asked in a small voice. There was an edge to my voice and it sounded strangled. The hole in my chest seemed to ache even more. It wasn't fear of becoming a vampire. I wasn't scared. It was fear that he wouldn't want me. Even if I didn't smell like food and was finally beautiful. He placed a hand over my cheek.
"I'm sorry. I love you and I want to be with you forever, but I can't damn you to a life of night just so that I can have you to myself. It would be the most selfish act I'd ever commit." He whispered. Pain ripped through me. My breath came out in a gasp and I felt myself hyperventilating. He didn't want me. He didn't want me before and he doesn't want me now. He was just trying not to hurt my feelings.
"Shh Bella. Calm down. I love you, but I can't do this."
"Well, Edward, if you cannot change her, then I'll have to," Aro interrupted. "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid that I can't let you leave with her as a human. She knows entirely too much. I either have to change her, or if she doesn't want to then I'll kill her. Consider your options and choose wisely. Demetri will lead you to a guest room and I will give you until tomorrow morning to make a decision. If you decide you don't want to change her, then I'll let you go, but Isabella will have to stay. And Alice, you'll be able to leave with Edward as well. Good night. I'll see you in the morning. Have sweet dreams, Isabella, for this will be your last night to dream. Off you go now. There's so much to plan. Good night! Demetri, please escort them to one of our guest rooms." Aro summarized.
Edward picked me up in his arms and we were escorted to our room. I couldn't see the walls or the ceilings or anything; it was just a blur of colors. I focused my attention back to Edward's face. If this was the last time I saw him, then I was going to appreciate it.
We came to a stop and Demetri opened the door to our room. It was large and spacious. There were granite walls in brown surrounding us with gold bars as crown molding. There were two beds. The bedding was all white. The pillows were a solid light brown and the bed was probably a King-sized mattress. The room was about the size of the Cullen's dining room, times three. Demetri closed the door behind him as he exited. Edward laid me down on the bed under the covers and he lay down next to me on top of the covers. He scooped me up in his arms and sighed, inhaling my scent. I inhaled his greedily and tried to memorize it. I ran my fingers through his hair, feeling the texture of it.
"Bella, I'm so sorry I left you. I was trying to protect you but I ended up hurting us both. Leaving you was probably the biggest mistake of my existence. You don't know how much I missed you. How much I wanted to go back and beg you to take me back. I would've gotten on my knees if you wanted. I would've- and still would- do anything you asked. Do you forgive me?" He asked in a pleading voice.
I was at a loss for words. My eyes already wanted to close, but I forced them open. I looked him in the eyes to see if he was lying to me in any way and his eyes only betrayed innocence. My heart started beating faster and my mind raced back to the first time I ever heard Edward's voice. I had only come up with two options and now I could really see the third option. That's what my subconscious was trying to tell me the whole time! Edward really loved me and the hallucinations were only trying to prove it. Every time I was in danger, Edward's voice was always saving me.
"Bella?" Edward asked worriedly.
"Hold on. I think I'm having an epiphany!" I blurted.
Option three: My subconscious always brought up Edward's voice every time I was in danger. It would come up with what I thought Edward would say to me if he was there. He really and truly loved me.
"Your epiphany?" Edward wondered aloud.
"You love me." I stated in a proud voice. My heart felt as if it was filling up my whole chest.
"Of course, I do. Those things I said in the forest, they were all a lie. I never meant to hurt you, but it killed me to see you believed me so quickly. After all the times I told you I loved you, you believed that one lie so quickly. When I left you, I thought you could move on and forget everything about us. I left you so you could try to live a normal, human life without any interference from me. I left you, but it doesn't mean I forgot about our time together. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw you behind my eyelids. I couldn't stand all the love that my family had so I left. But the question now is, are you able to forgive everything I said? Are you willing to take me back? Do you still love me?"
"Of course I do. I forgive you because there's nothing to forgive. And, of course I love you. How could you ever doubt that? I've always loved you and always will. But are you willing to change me into one of you?"
His face showed multiple emotions and I tried to keep up with them. Indecision, anger, frustration were the most I saw. He hugged me close enough to where my face was against his chest. I heard Alice speak up. I forgot she was even with us.
"Edward, if you don't change her, you know Aro will keep her. She'll end up like Marcus. No emotions what so ever. You won't be able to see her again!" Alice whispered urgently to him. Edward took a couple of deep breaths before looking at me.
"Do you want me to change you? You know there's no going back once you decide right?" Edward asked me.
I looked at him straight in the eyes and already knew what my answer was. It was always there, just waiting to escape my lips. "You know I want to be with you forever. And I want you, specifically you, to change me." I declared.
Suddenly his lips were on mine. I could tell he still had his boundaries, considering he probably hasn't hunted in a while. I took advantage of what I could. My hands were knotted in his hair and every inch of my body was pressed against him. All of a sudden he pushed me back. Both of us were gasping for air. I was on my side and he had laid on his back. I scooted myself closer to him, snuggling by his side. He automatically put his arms around me. He started humming my lullaby and I knew I was going to be out in a couple of seconds. My eyes slid closed without my permission, but I couldn't open them. I was exhausted. I didn't know what tomorrow would bring, but I knew I would still love Edward no matter what he decides tomorrow.
Just as I was close to unconsciousness, he whispered, "Dream good dreams Bella, for tonight is your last night. Tomorrow you'll be mine forever just as you wished." I think I slept with a smile on my face. The last thing I felt was his lips on my forehead.