Ooh, I was in the mood for some angst today.
So here's another Seddie oneshot until I can manage to locate iBeat the Heat online and can write the next chap of iBreak a Promise! This idea came to me when I was watching iMake Sam Girlier and wondered why she tells people to scream at the sky.
Hope you like it!
iScream at the Sky
"Scream at the sky," She tells her fans that day (her birthday) on iCarly.
It's her birthday and shouldn't it be the happiest day of her life?
Yet, somehow, it's just not.
They try to surprise her with a party (too bad the dork's a bad liar and already let it slip, then begged her not to tell his precious Carly).
She pretends to be excited as all of her friends surround her.
Somehow, she knows it won't turn out well as people go up to 'say a few words about her.'
She tries to pretend that it's Pete's words that bother her, but it's actually not. It's that dork Fredward Benson and when he goes up to speak, she winces, knowing that whatever he has to say can't be good.
"Watch it, Freddifer," she warns in a hostile voice.
"I just wanna say that….Sam, even though you constantly cause me physical and emotional pain," He pauses, and everyone laughs. Sam just shrugs, knowing it to be true, and he continues, "Not joking. I think of you and me as really close friends."
Right there is where it stings. Really close friends. It's not enough for her. She wants more than that, more than really close friends. A part of her wishes that he had just gotten up there and confessed his feelings for her. But that will never happen because no one would ever love a bully like her.
So she forces a smile onto her face and tells everyone, "Apparently, I haven't caused him enough emotional pain."
She sure hasn't, she hasn't caused him enough pain to make him stop torturing her like this (though he doesn't know he's doing it, which is the worst part).
He keeps at it. "Sam, you're funny, you're cool and you're the only girl I've ever seen knock out a truck driver using only a carton of milk. So happy birthday, you crazy psychopath!"
She's smiling now, kind of, because it's really the first hope she'd ever had that he could like a crazy psychopath like herself. He says it in sort of an affectionate tone and she feels her insides fill with butterflies (she's turning into such a girl, isn't she? And over such a stupid boy).
Gibby starts and she doesn't listen to what he says. She listens to what Pete says (keeping up appearances) because everyone thinks that she likes Pete (and not Freddie, as she really does, so that's good right?) and she hasn't denied it yet. She just sits and waits till it's all over, absorbing the fact that everyone (including the Fredward boy, the one she cares the most about) has called her something along the lines of 'aggressive' or 'good in a fight'.
And she's tired of being seen in that way.
During Pete's toast, she halfheartedly raises her cup, unhappy. She knows that no one will ever see her in that light, the way she sees Freddie.
The way she wants Freddie to see her.
She knows that she needs to change (to be more like Carly, his true love) but she doesn't know how.
Talk about a good birthday.
After the party, she just goes outside and glares up at the dark evening sky that torments her from above. The sky has no cares in the world and she has far too many.
In a sudden burst of anger that she can't remember having before, she lets out a yell that must have woken up all of Seattle. It makes her feel so good (letting out her anger in a way that isn't destructive, just like her therapist said) that she does it repeatedly, again and again, just like she advised on iCarly for others to do.
After all, it's her main way of letting out her anger without harming another living thing.
Freddie's the first to discover her, however much she doesn't want him to.
He places a hand on her shoulder in obvious concern. "Sam, are you okay?"
"What does it look like, Benson?" She shoots him a darkening glare, warning him to stay far away from her at risk for his life.
"What's wrong?" He asks softly.
"Like you care," She retorts, hitting his hand off of her shoulder because she knows it's only pity and she doesn't need his pity.
"Sam, you heard what I said tonight," Freddie begins to recite his previous speech. "Even though you constantly cause me physical and emotional pain, I still consider me and you to be really close friends. I do care, Sam, can't you just tell me?"
"Why should I?" She stares at him, scowling.
"Because I walk out here to find you yelling at the sky for no reason whatsoever," No reason, ha, she thinks to herself. He continues, oblivious to her train of thought (as he always is). "And I just want to know how you feel, Sam, we're really close friends, isn't that enough?" His dark brown puppy-dog eyes bear into hers.
"No, Benson, it's not enough," She informs him, slapping him for no apparent reason. "It's never enough."
He holds his hand up to his cheek, which is quickly turning red from her slap. "Sam, what's going on?"
She shakes her head sorrowfully at him. "You don't get it, do you, dork? You'll never get it, I guess. I thought you were smart. Guess not."
He stares at her, dumbfounded. "I'm sorry….what's wrong, Sam? Can't you tell me?"
"Just….forget it, Benson. It doesn't matter, especially to you," She hangs her head and walks off to a spot where Freddie Benson can't bother her anymore, where she's alone (and she's perfectly fine with that).
Because Freddie doesn't get it.
Heck, Carly doesn't even get it.
So that's why she throws her head full of long blonde curls back into the evening breeze and screams as loud as she possibly can at the blinding black sky that towers above her and taunts her with its power.
Because she has no power at all.
If she did, Freddie Benson would love Sam Puckett, and not Carly Shay.
Ooh, sad right?
I couldn't put any real romance in because that would mess up the episode. But I hope you like it anyway!