Notes: I was going for silly, but it has been a while. Written for slashthedrabble prompt #233 (Wrong Place, Wrong Time) but also fits #002 (UST or 'A Pairing You've Never Written Before') as they are new to me. Exactly 400 words. Jen's perspective is fun to write.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fictional parody in no way intended to infringe upon the rights of any individual or corporate entity. Any and all characters or celebrity personae belong to their rightful owners. Absolutely no money has or will be gained from this work. Please do not publicly link, repost or redistribute without letting me know first.
The office was quiet… too quiet… the sort of quiet that undoubtedly means something really horrible had happened or would soon. "Good morning…" I looked to Moss, but he didn't respond - only began clicking harder on his mouse. "Morning, Roy." It was a bit confusing, actually. It was Monday, and sometimes returning to work did get the better of them… but they both looked caffeinated enough. Roy grunted.
"That is just like you, Roy." Moss grumbled.
Wasn't like them to be so off. "How did your weekend dungeon gaming party thing go?"
"Tell her about it, Moss." Roy grumbled into his Coke, staring into the computer.
"It was fine, Jen." Moss muttered between clenched teeth.
Roy shook his head, finally making eye contact. "It was a REAL dungeon."
"A real dungeon, what?" How did they always manage to have more interesting weekends than I did? It wasn't fair.
"I didn't know!" Moss jumped to his own defense, throwing up his arms. "If I had, would I have brought my bag and four sets of polyhedral dice? I think not."
"No, you would have brought a choke chain and gimp suit." Roy shook his head; I think he was actually blushing.
"They don't all wear gimp suits, Roy."
"Of course they don't, because you know these things." Roy looked back to his computer.
"Well, that must have been very awkward…" I tried to step in; it wasn't the first time there had been a misunderstanding. "What did you do instead?"
There was a long pause before Moss muttered; "Tell her, Roy."
Roy sighed, looking up sheepishly. "Well, there was a good amount of free booze…"
"What, it wasn't like we had to do anything…" Roy defended.
"Speak for yourself!" Moss added.
"Well, you know, besides the mandatory spankings…"
"Spankings?" Ooh, it was getting a bit more juicy then, wasn't it?
"I don't want to talk about that." Roy shot Moss the sort of look that would kill him if he noticed it… which he didn't.
"And the sex…" Moss grumbled.
"Wait, what?" I really did miss everything, didn't I?
"Shut up, Moss!" Roy's voice cracked, juicy details indeed…
"What, so now Jen's not supposed to know about the sex but the dungeon is okay?"
"I'm totally lost here…"
"Just shut it now." Roy growled.
"It's not like I told her about the sex on Sunday."
"Kill me now."