AN: I own absolutely nothing.
This is my first ff for the Vampire diaries that I have posted. I've always been so nervous that nobody would like my stuff. So tell me what you think or if you have any suggestions.
If I could tear you from the ceiling,
I know the best have tried,
I'd fill your every breath with meaning,
And find a place we both could hide...
Don't go and leave me,
And please don't drive me blind.
You don't believe me, but you do this every time,
I know we're broken.
I know I broke it
- Blind by placebo
Am I a liar? Yes. But I can be brutally honest. I lie to get what I want and I wont say what I want till its convenient... for me of course. I know I'm selfish. I'm unkind. But that is just the beauty of it. I know what I am and what I do. I just don't care. Shocker?
I sat in my favorite chair right in front of the fire. Staring at the flames. Wondering what if one day I just gave up and succumbed to the fire. Be part of the flames. I mean what would I be leaving behind? A memory of a great man? No. It's not like I ever wanted that. Maybe in my human days. But now, id be content to be hated. Hate is such a passionate emotion. Its the one emotion I let overtake me. It's not easy to hate something that is all your heart ever desired. But I've had some time to practice.
I heard someone slam the door to the boarding house. I already knew who it was. The "righteous" one, the one everyone loved. Always. I mean the two people I've ever cared about said it themselves. "it was/will always be Stefan." What a dick.
I needed to get out of here. Before the saint wanted to do some soul searching. I took my glass of whiskey and flashed out of the house. It was drizzling outside. What a perfect time for a walk. I started down the road not knowing where I was going. All a sudden I was in the graveyard. I decided I'd fine the graves the Salvatore brothers should be under. I looked at Stefan's grave. For a long time I just stared wondering what it would be like if he really did die that night years ago. I guess you could call it wishful thinking. Then rain started to pick up.
I heard crying in the distance. Anybody else wouldn't of been able to hear it. I quickly found the source of the whimpering. There was a girl in front of a small gravestone. She had brown curly hair. She was soaking wet. I could barely see the difference among the tears and the rain that was running down her face, she had the deepest green eyes I've ever seen. It was probably all the crying that made them so livid. I heard her talking, so I stayed in the shadows and listened.
"I'm so sorry Justin. I shouldn't of said those things before you left. I didn't mean them. I wish you were hear to know how deeply sorry I really am. I need you. I have nobody else. Why did you have to leave me! I could go jump off Wickery bridge and nobody would even miss me! All I had was you! "
Hmph. She was the perfect meal. I wouldn't really label her a 'happy meal' though. I smirked at my own sick joke. Apparently no one was going to miss her, she said it herself. But something stopped me from just going and draining her dry. I guessed I understood what she was feeling. I was sympathizing with her. Knowing how it is to have no care if you lived or died and the last person on earth you thought that would be there for you, wasn't anymore. When did that happen? When does Damon Salvatore care about some girl who was hurt? Hell I killed so many people that I inflicted that same hurt on many others before.
I needed to get out of mystic falls. I've gone soft. All I want to do is flip that switch and go back to killing, seducing, and drinking. I gave one last look at the broken girl. What do I care? She'll probably end herself anyway.
There was a part of me that felt hurt at my last thought. I was relating to this girl not only a minute ago, and now I'm saying it'd be fine if she just killed herself. What if i just did that? Would it be fine?
"I miss you more then I ever thought I would admit. Bye Justin. I'll see you again one day. "
The girl got up and started walking away. I wanted to get to know her. So I followed her. She lived two blocks away from Elena. Except her house was nothing like Elena's. Her house was well more like a shack. I heard the TV blasting inside. When the girl was inside I crept up to the window to see someone past out on the couch. I was outside and I could still smell the alcohol coming off them. I watched as the girl stared at the person on the couch. She stayed there for about a minute, just staring. Her face held no emotion. Then she walked to the door that I assumed was her room.
I crept around the house looking for a window that looked into her room. I found a window that showed the girl. She was changing out of her wet clothes.
Her room was simple. There was a bed in the middle of her room with a white blanket, a closet by the door and wooden floors. She didn't have much. That was a given.
I desperately wanted to know the girls name. I desperately wanted to know everything about her. Once I do, she will mean nothing to me. This girl will probably be the net thing I obsess over, get bored and move on. More like the old Damon. Once I found out all her secrets I would seduce her, then drink her up and go on to being my badass self.
I left the girls shack and started to walk home with a sly grin on my face.