A/N:Once updated all A/N's will be following after the story. This will be the only time I mention the following.
1) This is my first story
2) This is an OOC story
3) This is an AU story
4) This story is rated M,
5) NO one under 18 should read this story.
6) If you are unfamiliar with these acronyms then please visit my home page for the definitions.
Names, Places, Ages, Dates, and Times have been altered to fit the story parameters.
I will do my best to update every 2 weeks. However I have a medical condition that may interfere. For more information on this please check out my home page listed on my profile.
There will be gratuitous use of one or all of the fallowing: Swearing, violence, lemons, bad jokes and any other offence stuff that pops in to my head. (LOL)
I want to thank my beta Jasper's Darlin' Kathy I'm very fortunate to have her doing my story. I also want to thank my contents reader ImaTwitard for being my 2nd set of eyes. I also want to thank cullen818 for her support.
I own nothing related to Twilight.
Warring Rant ahead
I all so swear that I will NOT hold chapters for review. That shit pisses me off and I don't care how good the story is ill stop reading it if I see that shit. Writing a story should make you happy. I'm more concerned if the story is good not how many reviews I get. You know where the button is and how to use it so it's up to you to decide if you want to use it.
If you have any questions please PM me.
Well Fuck Me Running. I sat on the bed looking at another pair of fucking khaki slacks, the problem was I hate anything that is fucking khaki; that Alice once again had picked out for me. I'd eat a damn skunk if I it would get me in to a pair of fucking jeans and a t-shirt. I started thinking that Esme would be yelling at me for hours if she knew how much I swear in my thoughts. I love Esme so much that I made sure never to swear in front of her. She can be scary when she gets mad and I rather let Emmett take the brunt of her scary side. I know that tonight will break her heart, but it can't be helped. The family needs to know what Alice and Edward have been doing all these years; the lies, deceit, and the sneaking around… It all stops tonight. So if I have to wear a fucking pair of khaki slacks one more time, I will because tonight, if all goes well, Bella and I will find our happy ending. Thirteen Days. It seems like such a short time for my life to change, but that's how long it's been.
August 29th Sunday
I was sitting in the living room playing with Emmett on the Xbox and as always fucking with his emotions when Alice came bouncing down the stairs yelling family meeting, shit what does she want now? Things between Alice and me have been strained for years, but ever since we moved to Forks it's only gotten worse. Also since Bella moved to town I hardly ever see her. Not that I fucking care at the moment, stupid khaki slacks. I don't see why Emmett gets to wear jeans and I don't. I don't blame Bella one bit; whenever she is over, I can feel her longing towards me. I know she wants to be closer to me, but Alice and Edward won't let her. So I get left in the dust by Alice and told to go hunting by Edward, stupid asshole I'm not a fucking child, I won't hurt Bella. I could never hurt her; she was to special a human and one of the most selfless people I knew. What she saw in Edward I'll never know. She's way to fucking great a person for him anyway. I was snapped out of my inner monologue by the screeching voice of my lovely wife. "Jazzy." I hate that fucking name. "Hurry up I have an important announcement." Holy shit if it's another shoe sale I swear I'm lighting myself on fire. I dragged my dead ass into the dining room and took my seat at the end of the table. Silently wishing I was already burning. When we were all seated Carlisle told her the table was all hers.
She stood up, plastered that damn stupid 'I'm the queen of the world' smile on her face. I fucking swear she can be vainer then Rose. "Guess what's in thirteen days?" Who the fuck cares? Then she started bouncing on her toes again. I swear to the beings above she found a way to make crack work on her. Realizing that no one was going to answer her I bit the bullet and asked. "Ok Alice what's in thirteen days?"
Flashing me a big dumb assed smile she screamed "Bella's birthday party." The only thing I hoped was that she didn't make me wear fucking khaki pants to the party. Alice then started in on one of her rants about everything that would need to be done over the next two weeks. I looked around the table taking in all the emotions. I mean shit, doesn't anyone know that Bella hates attention.
Carlisle, as always, his emotions were that of love and fatherly pride, but mixed in there was excitement and a dose of childlike joy. Seriously? Upon noticing my stare and raised eyebrow he just smiled at me sheepishly and shrugged his shoulders.
Esme's emotions were pure; the motherly love she always radiated was stronger than ever before. I loved feeling that emotion from her. Also there was curiosity which I can only assume was because Alice had given her the task of making the cake for Bella. I chuckled to myself; human food had always fascinated her.
I felt love and mischief from Emmett they were pouring out of him. Oh shit what the hell was he up to? Love for his newest sister and I can only guess what he had planned for Bella was some sex toy for a present. That would cause this level of mischief to pour off him. Poor Bella, I can only hope that Alice had a vision and stopped him from whatever he had planned. I wonder if I can get him to eat a piece of cake.
As usual Rosalie's emotions were; jealousy, anger, distain, and disgust were here emotions. Holy fuck get over it all ready. I started blocking her emotions as quick as I could. Her dislike for Bella was getting old. And it was starting to piss me off. She needed to realize that Bella made this family happy. They say if you slap someone on the back while they are making a face that the face will freeze on you. I wonder who slapped her, because her face was always in a permanent scowl.
Edward was feeling, love, joy and happiness was at the front of his emotions, but there was the always present fear lingering just below the surface. What the fuck? What is up with feeling relief? Today however it seemed to be stronger. I could only guess it was because one, Alice was scary when it came to party planning or two, he was going to have to tell Bella about the party. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him mouth the word 'Both.' Shit I got distracted by Rose and stopped blocking my thoughts from the dick. It took me a few years, but learning to block that fucker from my mind was one of the best things I had ever learned. He might have denied it, but that little prick was reporting to Alice on the shit that was in my mind. I hated Edward and his stuck up ways.
Four long and fucking grueling hours later, Alice was finally finished with 'Operation Bella's Birthday Party.' Seriously, I know it's for Bella and she deserves the best, but come on. She had given out to do lists, and threatened Emmett eight times with bodily harm if he does not get Bella a serious gift. I'm so asking him what he was thinking. So we were finally dismissed,-What were we, fucking children now?-, with the warning that at midnight 'Operation Bella's Birthday Party' begins, minus Edward, lucky bastard, who would be with Bella. Alice had not given me anything to do, but I knew that the pixie was up to something.
I decided on taking a quick hunt before the torture of 'Operation Bella's Birthday Party' begins. As I was heading for the back door, Esme stopped me. She asked me if everything was all right and I told her I was fine. The thing I loved about Esme was she had a built in 'Shit' detector. I swear that woman can smell a load of crap a hundred miles away. I wasn't sure how to answer that because I wasn't sure if I was fine. She kissed my cheek and told me when I was ready that she would be here for me. As she was leaving the room she paused and told me to stop swearing in my head so much and continued on her way. Shit, I mean stuff like that was why I loved her so much.
The thing about hunting animals was it got really boring. Run into the woods, find an animal, kill it, drink it, and then bury it. Would I go back to hunting humans because it's more challenging? Hell fucking no, but finding Big Foot and chasing his ass around would be fun. I'm not sure how long I have been sitting in this tree, but Esme's question would not leave my mind. Am I Fine? I'm not really sure at this point. I mean hell I haven't had sex since Bella came to town. I don't blame her at all. If the Dickward and Ali, stupid nick name I won't call her that, would let me get to know her better, I'd want to spend time with her too. Damn what the fuck was wrong with me? I haven't used the F-Bomb this much in one day since Alice took me to that shoe exposition in France.
My phone woke me out of my inner monologue, I checked my text messages to see it was from Alice saying to hurry up and get home. I looked at my watch to see that it was 11:30 pm. well fuck me running. Guess it was time to get ready for 'Operation Bella's Birthday Party.' Note to self: It's for Bella and she's worth it.
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