A/N: Thanks for the reviews! In response to Rutger5000, I absolutely understand what you're talking about. The transition isn't as smooth as it could've been. If I were to develop the story further, I would change several things. But, because I don't intend on furthering any of these stories, I'll leave it alone. Thanks for the honest review.
This story is a short one. I got the inspiration from hearing an acquaintance talk about their hatred for art. It's a simple story, but kind of cute in my opinion. I considered making this story into a full story when I wrote it, but I couldn't think of a real plot for it so I scrapped it.
Hope you like.
I don't have an artistic bone in my body. When I was little, just the mention of craft time made me cry. I hate being creative. I'm more of a technical person. I like formulas and calculations. They make sense to me. There is only one answer when it comes to math. But with art, there are so many different takes on it. It could be this, it could be that. I can't stand it.
I guess you could consider me a grumpy narcissist. I only love three things in life. Math, chocolate and my beautiful wife. Math is my material love. I love looking at math problems and figuring out the answer. It makes me feel successful when I solve a particular difficult one. Chocolate, well, what can I say? I have a sweet tooth for chocolate. It makes me mellow out. It takes the edge off of my stress. My wife, though, tops my other two loves by far. I'd be fucking miserable without her. If we hadn't met, I'd probably still be sitting up in my stuffy old office working twelve hours a day as an accountant. Now I own my own business…selling art.
My wife is an artist. A free-spirit, hippy, bohemian style artist. She's a vegetarian, mediates under trees, kisses plants and wild animals alike, and worships the sun. She's everything I should hate in a person. I'm an uptight, irritable, cocky bastard. I eat meat, work out on a treadmill, kick puppies, tear petals off of flowers and hate religion. I'm everything she should hate in a person. But for some reason, despite our differences, we get along perfectly.
As a couple you have to learn how to bend. You have to learn to relax and let the other be themselves, no matter how much it might annoy you. The first week living with her was almost unbearable. The first day she woke me, bright and early, and asked me to join her in her yoga session outside on the morning dew. I only joined her because I wanted to impress her (and to prove that I could do anything better than her). Well after that session my pride was severely wounded. It's safe to say I haven't participated in yoga again, and she hasn't asked me to for a reason. The second day I pulled out some bacon in the morning. I was about to bite into that succulent piece of meat when she burst into tears. I now eat my bacon in the basement. The third day I woke up at five in the morning to her frolicking around the living room with some techno choir music on blast. That wasn't about to fly. She now does her little dances in the garage. After that week, we learned to respect out differences. We made accommodations for each other's beliefs and respected each other's values. The only thing we still fight about is the meat in the freezer and the dried, stinky herbs in cupboards. Those will always be a problem.
We decided two years ago to start a business, and to my annoyance, it's very profitable. It's not that I dislike making money, because I love making money. My annoyance stems from the fact that the product we're selling is one of the few things I despise. I hate a lot of things in life, but I only despise three things: Puppies, dried herbs, and art. Now my wife is an amazing artist. Her drawings are beautiful, her paintings outstanding and her digital work is incredible. My problem with art is the idea of it. It just doesn't make sense. For instance, I looked at one of her paintings the other day that depicted an ocean. Now what I saw was simply an ocean. But what she saw was the world's turmoil.
"The dark color of the water indicates a hidden secret. The swirling waters represent turmoil and the sea animals you see depict the children of the world who are affected by this turmoil." She told me, explaining her picture to me like she would to a three year old.
I promptly left the room, entered my bedroom, closed the door and banged my head against it to calm myself down. I hate art. It makes me look stupid.
Well now my worst nightmare has come true. I have to create something. I have to make art. You see tomorrow is our anniversary and I overhead her talking on the phone to her best friend about what she wanted. My wife is not materialistic. I have to beg her to ask me for things because she never does. She doesn't like to be showered with gifts, which is how I show my affection. She'd rather go on a walk, splash around in a pond or visit the humane society to look at the puppies (which I have to mentally prepare myself for every time.). As I eavesdropped on her conversation, I could feel the dread building in my stomach.
"You know, Namine, I really want him to do something special..." She said into the phone. It was silent for awhile as the other woman talked.
"I know, wouldn't it be romantic if he like…made me something. I know he hates art, so I don't think he'd ever do that…"
The only thing in life that would haunt me forever is letting my wife down. I love my wife; she's the most precious person in the world to me. So if there's something my wife wants, then goddamn it she'll get it. No matter how big or small that thing might be. No matter how much I might despise it, I will make her something. Oh the things you do when you're in love.
So here I am, surrounded by every craft material known to man, completely lost. I have no idea where to start. Should I make her a card, a collage, some sort of stupid scrapbook? Fucking hell, I have no idea. I pick up a piece of ribbon and frown. How do you join all of these different mediums together and make it look good? Does ribbon on top of paper look bad or good? And what about this ridiculous glitter? Ew, it sticks to my skin. No good.
I pick up a piece of pretty printed paper. It's a lovely design, flowery and somewhat vintage. I've seen my wife draw things similar to this paper. I fold the paper in half. Eh, it looks somewhat like a card. It's too long, though. I grab a pair of scissors and cut some of it off. There, much better. I kind of like this cream ribbon. It matches the red print, I think. I grab some glue and edge the card in some ribbon. Not too shabby.
I spend about five hours on the little card. At one point I accidently glued another sheet to the back, which I had to carefully peel off. I spilled glitter over the card twice, making me throw the little jar of sparkly crap out the window in rage. But now, I think I'm finished and well…it looks like shit.
I can feel the familiar frustration with art coming over me. The anger and hatred slowly creeps up my spine as I look at the little piece of crap. I cannot give this to my wife. This work is an insult. I stash the card in my top drawer and quickly rid myself of all things art, meaning I dumped the materials in the trash.
The next morning I wake up to the delicious smell of a meat filled breakfast. What the hell? I stumble out of the room, catching myself in my near nude state then stumble back to pull on some pants. Once I finally make it to the kitchen, my mouth drops.
"K-Kairi…?" I ask suspiciously. Is that sausage I see frying in that pan?
"Hey you." Kairi says, coming out of the pantry. Apparently Kairi didn't catch the whole modesty thing like I did. She's prancing around in a baby doll night top and panties. Oh hell.
I blush like a teenage virgin as she hops up and wraps her arms around my neck. I lean down a little to accommodate her short height before wrapping my arms around her waist and lifting her up.
"Morning, princess." I tell her, kissing her lightly on the cheek, then her nose and finally her closed eyes.
Kairi giggles and wraps her legs around my waist. Damn, it's getting hot in here. "Happy anniversary." She whispers, before licking my ear.
"Umm…happy anniversary to you too." I all but groan into her ear. "Baby…this is pretty hot and all but…I have to ask." I tell her, running my hands over her behind before lightly groping it. Hell, we might not leave the bedroom today.
"What?" She says, playfully tugging at my hair.
"Why is there sausage in the pan?" I know it's a mood killer, but I have to know.
Kairi pouts and then slides down to standing. "Well you know how I feel about meat. I won't be eating this. But…you're my husband and you eat meat. That's not going to change. It's our anniversary so I thought I'd do something special…something that I'm not comfortable doing."
My heart thuds in my chest. I know Kairi hates meat. I've seen her get ill in grocery stores when we passed the meat isle. She loves animals and would never want to harm one. So her cooking me sausage is a big thing. It's a very loving thing.
I drudgingly turn around and exit the room. Kairi calls me, sounding uncertain, but I keep walking. I have something to give her. It's embarrassing, stupid, humiliating and pathetic, but she deserves it. She deserves to have this wretched card that I made. I deserve to be uncomfortable like she is in the kitchen, cooking meat.
I open the drawer and pick up the card with a grimace. Holy shit this thing is ugly. I can't see how she would love this thing. It's like a child of four created it. But I'm giving it to her. Time to swallow my pride.
I slowly walk back to the kitchen to face Kairi's worried face. She also looks a little hurt and I feel like a total bastard for not answering her when she called to me.
"Is everything alright?" She asks, rubbing her hands together nervously. I keep the hand holding the card behind my back and reach with my other to still hers.
"Hey…I'm sorry. I was um, getting you something." She smiles at me, all traces of nervousness and hurt gone.
"Oh, well what did you get me?" She asks, excitedly. "You better not have spent a lot of money on me."
I smile and shake my head no. Well, that's a lie. She has a new car in the garage, tons of new jewelry, and some expensive perfume that took me ages to find. But in my eyes, that's only a fraction of what she deserves.
"Kairi, listen. Don't hate me." I tell her, before closing my eyes and thrusting the card in her hands.
Silence. Oh my fucking god.
All I can hear is the crackling of the sausages in the pan. She doesn't make a sound; she doesn't move to run to our room. She's just silent. I know she hates it. I know it.
Then I hear a sob. Oh fuck, I made her cry. I open my eyes to beg for forgiveness, when suddenly I'm slammed back against the counter. She has her arms wrapped around my neck again and her legs around my waist. She's bawling her eyes out.
"Baby, I'm sorry. Um, it was a horrible mistake. I know it's ugly, but it's not what I think of you. Honest." I plead with her. Damn me to hell.
"I wanna m-marry…" Kairi gasps out in between her sobs. "I wanna marry you again, Riku."
Whoa. Well I wasn't expecting that. I run my fingers through her hair until she calms down. "You really…like it?" I ask, after she smiles up at me.
"I would've never thought you'd do something like this. I always wanted to marry a guy who would make me something, and to be honest, you were the least likely candidate in that area."
I roll my eyes and kiss her deeply. Long and slow. Just how I like it. Kairi kisses me back enthusiastically, moaning my name over and over again.
My mind starts to slow down as the passion takes over until there are only two things left running through my head.
One, the sausage is burning. Two, I need to grab a certain trash bag out of the trash bin before the garbage men show up. That craft shit just might come in handy again one day.