I'm back from the dead! muahahahaa! :D
You guys wouldn't believe how many bad PM(s)/requests I've had for the Dirty jokes series! :o Most of them think the ending was a bit... meh. But whatever, that doesn't matter! I've decided to make a companion/sequel to the series...! I still don't know what the name of the series should be...But it's main plot is Terra(once again) giving Ven a bad influence...
But anywho~ Please excuse any grammar mistake, misspelled words, and pronounciation...I'm just too tired to fix them at the moment...enough delay! But before you read the story...note that there's implied, ahhh 'love-making' in here..if you catch my fro~ :P
It was a beautiful day in the Land of Departure! Clear blue skies, and clean fresh air! The birds chirped jeeringly, the forest animals were resting peacefully, and everything seemed as peaceful as it can get! Well...on the outside that is... Inside a great marbleized castle, two great Keyblade bearing apprentices were having the most intense experience they will ever have. They needed all their skill in patience, respect and will power to survive. To the male, it was pure torture, to the female; it was childish. Nevertheless, If they could survive these last 30 minutes, then they're able to survive anything.
"Aww...That's Ok Mario," Said the big purple dinosaur. "I love you~
You love me~
We're a happy family~..."
Terra's left eye was twitching at a irregular pace. He was gripping the loveseat's armrest, which was now starting to tear. He stared at the television screen in pure horror seeing the obviously fake dinosaur hug the little children. What kind of show is this? Why would big talking dinosaur help kid with their own emotional problems? How could dinosaur talk anyways!
While Terra was forcing himself to take slow deep breaths, the bluenette besides him was just sitting with her legs crossed down staring at the screen. She blinked a few times but her face remained blank and calm. Unlike the brute next to her, she can accept the fact that dinosaurs can talk and have the ability to help kids. I mean who knows? Next thing you know there'll be a duck...or a dog. Possibly even a mouse...!
"One more time everyone!" The big palooka shouted, the children's hoorays filled the room. "I love you~
You love me~.."
"Oh my God, when will it end!" Aqua smiled sympathetically at the brunette, who was now rubbing his pulsing temples. She patted(or should I say rubbed) his back soothingly. Here she thought that she wouldn't be able to take in all the immunological supplements of the show and be the first to break down. Yet here Terra was, struggling to keep his sanity together.
"Calm down Terra, the show's coming to an end," She then stood up and stretched her, now cramped, legs. Terra was stilled pressing his temples to try and sooth his pain.
"Ugh, that was brutal... Why did we even watch that?"
"I really don't remember... But hey," She bent down to his level and tilted his head up, their eyes now meeting. Aqua smiled, "While Ven's asleep, and Master's out for the day... We could watch a movie?"
The effect were immediate. Terra's pain and aches were soon banned and replaced with excitement and joy. He gave Aqua his usual smirk, "That sounds good to me,"
Aqua blushed slightly(barely unnoticeable unless you looked really hard and was expecting it) and stood up. "Well, I'll go make the snacks then, you can go pick a movie." With that, she strolled out of the living room, Terra watching her every movement. Terra sighed dreamily once she left. Who knew quitting on creating dirty jokes could lead up to something as great as-
"Oh boy! I just love movies!" Terra jumped wide eyed to see a energetic blonde teen sitting next to him in excitement. He was squirming/shivering(in excitement) in place so much it looked like he was just vibrating! Terra sat back from the teen aghast and still in shock, it only took him a good 30 seconds to come back to reality.
"That's me!" He cheered.
"What are you doing here!" Terra asked though clenched teeth, struggling not to raise his voice. Ven laid back, kicking his feet on the coffee table in front.
"I'm here for the movie, obviously." He stated the obvious, "What are we watching? Is it Star Wars? Oh I just love those movies! Especially episode six, three and five! They had the most space action in them! Although one was pretty- Hey! What are you doing! Put me down Terra!"
Whilst Ventus was blabbering possibly about nothing(For Terra wasn't even paying attention to what he was saying) Terra hoisted him over his shoulder, walked out the living room, and dropped him out into the hallway. "Sorry Ven, but this time you're not invited."
Ven eyes grew wide and watery, "W-wh-why..?"
Terra sighed, "Because...It's something only me and Aqua has to do." Terra looked down to see Ven staring at him with a blank face, mouth open with a little drool spilling out. "Something you're not ready for yet..?"
Ven then sprung back to life, smiling mischievously. "Oh I see~" He nudge Terra in the ribs, "You and Aqua are going to have se-!"
"Ven!" Terra shouted, Blushing so much his face steaming red. Ven blinked, flabbergasted by his Idol's outburst.
"-cret training time..?"
The two were silent for a while before Terra slowly backed his way into the living room. And as always, Ven followed. As Terra browser through the DVD's, Ven was laying on the Loveseat completely bored. Until spotting the television screen that is. "Oh boy! Barney!"
Ven looked over the seat to see Terra on the floor, rubbing his aching head. "Terra...?"
The man growled getting back to his feet. "That retarded reptile belongs in hell.."
Ven gasped, "Terra! That's a bad word!"
Terra rolled his eyes as he continued searching for a specific movie. "It's only a bad word if it isn't true.." Ven was silent for a while, taking it all in before nodding. Before he could say anything, Terra found the DVD he was searching and set the case on the table. He then started gushing Ven out the room. "Now go run along now Ven, and don't come back for another one...two...five hours Ok?"
Ven nodded glumly, he really wanted to watch their super secret training session. Why they needed a DVD? Probably a super secret training tips for KeyBearers DVD... Yeah that's it.
Terra watch Ven nodding furiously to himself as he walk further down the hall. What a weird kid...Getting back to the task hand, Terra closed and locked the door(Just to be safe) before rubbing his hand, facing the room before him. I got the perfect movie, now I just have to...readjust the setting.. Grinning naughtily to himself, Terra got set to work.
~*~Ten Minutes Later~*~
Aqua, humming Barney's I Love You song quietly to her self, came out of the kitchen with multiple trays. One medium tray on her head, which had two glass cups and a pitcher filled with delicious crispy Sprite. Two small ones were on her shoulders, one topped with mini cinnamon rolls, the other with honey glazed doughnuts. lastly, in her hands was one big tray piled with delicious snacks; two bowls of Sherbet Ice cream, two large bowls overflowing with pizza bites and popcorn. And last and finally a plate with yummy soft pretzels and nacho chips.
Now most women don't have the ability to carry all this food into the next room at once(A/N: I'm not being sexist! Just stating the truth! xD), so for those who believed Aqua wasn't able to... Well shame on you! Being a Keyblade wielder for the last 12 years of her life(Mind you that she's only 26!) she can easily overcome any difficulty that normal housewives would find impossible to do. Such as carrying four large trays into a room right beside the kitchen for example?
"Sorry to keep you waiting Ter-" She stopped as she entered the living room. The lighting was so dim that it was a bit difficult to see. Aqua let her eyes adjust to the darkness before looking around. The room was rearranged; all the furniture pushed to the walls(minus the coffee table) leaving a large empty space in the middle of the room with a sheet(or maybe a comforter?) spread out in the middle. Aqua blinked a few times before spotting a certain figure lying down on the floor in a certain way. Biting her lips to keep herself from laughing, which would cause her to drop all the preparations that she worked so hard on, Aqua slowly made her way to the coffee table, giggling at every step. "Terra...-giggle- what are you doing..?"
Terra laid sprawled on the floor, beside the coffee table, with the back of his hand resting on his head, which was tilted to the side, as if he passed away. "I'm laying in a seductive position of course,"
Setting the snacks on the table, she sat beside the brunette, messing with his hair. "Of course," she smiled, "So what are we watching?"
Terra sat up abruptly smirking. Pulling a DVD out of nowhere, waving it in the air. "It's Twilight!" Aqua smacked him. "Oww! I was just kidding! We're watching Dear John, God..."
Aqua rolled her eyes as Terra set the DVD in, "Don't play around like that, sheesh..." Terra sat next to her with a grunt before giving another smirk. Without another word, he 'magically' pulled two wine glasses and a bottle of champagne out of thin air. Aqua rose an eyebrow, "Champagne, Terra?"
"What?" he retorted(getting agitated) as he poured the sparkling clear liquid into the glasses, "We're legal adults, right?" He smirked at Aqua's pout as he handed her a glass. She seemed reluctant at first, but accepted the gift anyways. "There's a first time for everything after all,"
She rolled her eyes, "You sound like Ventus..." The two chuckled a bit before taking a sip as the movie started.
~*~The Next Morning~*~
Ven stormed through the hallway of Eraqus' massive fortress as he looked for two certain Keyblade wielders. Last night after hearing Terra's speech, he realized something importantly critical. He was upset, he was mad, and worse of all; he was cranky. After a few failed attempts of bathrooms and bedrooms, he found the two eating breakfast in the kitchen. The two were properly dressed, but their hair was rather messy and they had a tired expression; which proved Ven's theory right. He jumped besides the table and pointed at the adults accusingly.
"You two belong in hell!" he exclaimed.
Aqua choked on her Corn Flakes, whilst Terra slipped and busted his head on the floor. Aqua stared at Ven with disbelief, "Ven! You are not allowed to say such foul language in this household!"
Ven snorted placing his hands on his hips, "Well it's true!" He shot back menacingly, "Especially from what you two done last night! Shame on you!"
Terra slipped not too long after standing back up and sprained his back. Aqua's face turned a dark shade of red. "Wh-what?"
"Don't play dumb with me!" He exclaimed, turning his back on them "I know every single thing that happened last night! Sweet Kingdom Hearts, you two really should go to hell!"
Aqua covered rosy red face in shame shaking it in disbelief. Terra was using the table to set himself up again, his bangs covering his expression, but the steam was sure showing. Before either of the two could respond Ven spoke again, "I'm very disappointed with you two. Maybe further in the future I could understand, but now?" He shook his head before heading back down the hall. "I'll leave to let you two think about what you've done."
Aqua and Terra stayed silent for a long time, the bluenette spoke first. "H-how did he know?"
"I don't know?" Terra shot back, rubbing his aching head. Aqua rubbed her temples and groaned.
"We'll worry about that later, as embarrassing as it is, I'll have to scold him for even cursing like that. Sheesh, Ven wouldn't curse out like that, right Terra?"
Terra stood still shifting from foot to foot, "I..uh.. I guess?" Aqua only sighed.
~*~Meanwhile with Ventus~*~
Ven puffed his cheeks in anger. I hope those two learned their lesson! The nerves of them...Training with some forbidden techniques like that! That's the only reason why the door would be locked...
He shook his head and strolled into his room. "Well... If they do go to hell, I'm sure they could give it a run for it's money." Ven nodded to himself, before plopping on the bed. "Hmm... I wonder what hell even is.."
Well...that's the first one shot of another BBS story! haha, now That the H-word is out...Can anyone guess what the next word? ;D
Haha, besides that, you guys should read one of my latest fanfics: Kingdom Hearts: Behind The Scenes! It's almost filled with crack pairings... with the exception of Tequa :P I would tell you the plot... but I would be spoiling ya! :D