I don't own Avatar. Whoa, déjà vu.

Another submission for machete227's CRACK!ship challenge. It's on the same day since I missed Day 1 which was for firenation.

Earth Kingdom

"Sokka. We're through," Suki smiled at him.

Sokka stared at his (ex)girlfriend for a moment, at a lost for words. He could honestly say he hadn't seen that coming. Not for a mile. If he'd been sitting on Appa several hundred feet in the air, he wouldn't have seen that. He floundered for a moment, searching for words. Seriously, what does a guy say to that?


Wow. Real smooth, Sokka.

"I'm breaking up with you."

Sokka shook his head as if shaking water off, recovering some of his wits.

"Well, yeah. I got that part, but why? And I swear, if you say 'because you don't know why', I'll – "

"It's just not working, Sokka," she tried to force a frown due to the seriousness of the situation, but that smile just came back.

Sokka was once again struck dumb. ('Not one word, Zuko!')

Something clicked in his brain.

('You mean it actually works?' 'Zuko!')

"There's someone else, isn't there?"

Suki held her head up, smiled brightly, and looked him square in the eye.

Why was she always so smiley all the time?

"There is."

Sokka felt the need to go crawl in a corner but held her gaze instead. He would face this like a man. A man would not crawl away with his tail between his legs like a whipped moose-pup. With a calm he didn't feel, he faced this.

"Who is he?"

"You can come out now," Suki called.

A cart full of cabbages was all that Sokka saw. Then a medium tall guy with gray hair and green eyes set into wrinkled skin. The man put an arm around Suki's shoulder and tugged her to his side. She smiled up at him with adoring eyes.

"Sokka, this is Bob. He's a cabbage merchant."

Bob then turned to Suki and kissed her passionately right in front of Sokka.

Sokka didn't blink and wasn't aware that his jaw was hanging so wide it looked like it was unhinged. All he could focus on was that he'd gotten his girlfriend stolen from by a cabbage merchant(who looked vaguely familiar). The Boulder, sure, that guy was impressive. Heck, he'd even be better if it'd been Bumi!(King and earthbender). But a cabbage merchant!

You hear that sound? That's his self-esteem dying a slow, painful death with every second those two spend making out.

As he continues to stare in shock at the two, Zuko walks by. He glances at the scene as he goes behind Sokka and claps him on the shoulder.

"That's rough, buddy."

A/N: Oh, yeah. Cabbage Man Bob is gonna getcha!

Though there's some confusion on whether Kyoshi Island is Water or Earth, I think it's safe to go with either.


I love Sokka, I really do. Not much of a fan of Suki though. Ooh, I made a funny! Fan. Suki! Anyone? Yeah, I know it's lame.

This is really short so I'm gonna type til word says it over 400! Yay! 406!

Did that suck? Did anyone laugh or smile amused at my stupidity?