Author's note: I'm just going to leave this here...and run. Song is Mr. Brightside by the Killers.
Quinn had a schedule. She got up at 6:00. She brushed her teeth, made coffee and cooked breakfast. She usually picked out clean clothes from her closet but if she was feeling particularly rebellious that day, she wore clothes from the drawer, the "business casual" drawer. She, if she had time, checked her email and was out the door. Today she hung back a little when she saw the subject of one particular email.
Subject: My Hazel-Eyed Fairy
Hey pretty eyes, expect a call.
Quinn smiled shyly. Jeff was a man she had met on one of her business trips. After the disaster that was Puck, the awkward mess that was Sam and the idiotic hulk that was Finn, Quinn had all but given up on men. She'd dated casually in college but until Jeff, had never really experienced anything serious. The message didn't say when to expect the call so Quinn decided to leave her phone on. Just as she walked out the door, her phone buzzed.
"Good morning my hazel eyed princess." Jeff said charmingly.
"Good morning." Quinn replied. "I'm on my way to work."
"I won't keep you." He promised. "How...what are you doing this Saturday? I was hoping to drive up and take you out." Quinn beamed as she walked out the elevator. Two old ladies passed her and looked her up and down, giving her an approving smile. She faintly heard one of them say to the other,
"If only my granddaughter wore something like that, she'd be radiant!" She nodded hello to the doorman who opened the door for her and flashed her a white smile as she walked on past.
"That sounds..." Just as she was about to agree to a date, her phone buzzed again. She looked down at the name of the person calling. It said "Satan Lopez." Every time she saw that, she couldn't help but grin. She'd meant to change it since high school but every time she got around to it, a sense of nostalgia hit her and she couldn't bring herself to do it. So Santana stayed "Satan" in Quinn's phone.
"Sorry Jeff, let me call you right back." She hung up on him and shook her head. Whatever Santana was calling about, it must've been important. She hit the button for "Satan."
"I found the perfect moment." Santana cut her off.
"Good morning Satan."
"What? Nevermind, Q, I found the perfect moment to tell Brittany that I love her." Quinn cocked an eyebrow as she unlocked the door to her car. She looked at her watch. It was already later than she would've liked. Now Santana was raving like a madman. But, she concluded, it was better to do it over the phone than at the office, which was the only other option.
"San, I was in the middle of talking to Jeff."
"Yeah?" Quinn could hear slight amusement in Santana's voice. "How is he? Are his balls still shoved up his ass from the last beating I gave him?" Quinn groaned and rubbed her forehead. She remembered that incident very well.
"You still need to apologize. He was defending your honor."
"By grabbing my boobs?"
"Your bikini came off." Quinn pointed out. Santana didn't relent.
"Boob grab." She countered.
"Look, as much as I enjoy our oh-so meaningful conversations, what do you want?" Quinn started her car.
"I need you to help me out Saturday. This Saturday." Santana requested. Quinn almost floored it into the car in front of her upon hearing that.
"Oh no. No, no. I am doing something with Jeff on Saturday." She said.
"Please? It's my only chance to tell her!" Santana pleaded.
"Bull shit. You can tell her now. You can tell her over dinner. You can tell her whenever. Why does it have to be Satur..." Quinn stopped in mid sentence just as her car rolled up to a red light. She remembered it well but she checked her watch just in case. Santana noticed the pause.
"Do you know now?" Santana asked. Quinn bit her lip. She didn't want to choose between Jeff and Santana.
"Can't it be earlier?" She asked, knowing the answer.
"Quinn, I need you to help me. I can't do it alone." Quinn pressed on the gas pedal as the light turned green again. She hated choosing. She loved Jeff more than anything but Brittany and Santana...well, they were...
"Fine. But you owe me big, Lopez." Quinn replied. Jeff would have to wait. She needed to get her two best friends back together.
David sat in the green room, stretching his legs. He couldn't stop thinking about Saturday, where to take Brittany, what to say to her, how to dress. He was so distracted that his dance partner Erica prodded him for a full minute before he responded.
"What's got you in such a daze?" She asked. He shook his head and looked at her.
"What? Oh, sorry, just..." He smiled. "I have a date." His dance partner raised and eyebrow.
"Really? Does that mean you're finally over that Brittany girl?" She asked. David shook his head and laughed.
"It's the funniest thing." He replied. "I'm going on a date with her." Upon hearing this, Erica frowned and looked thoughtful for a moment.
"Wait, isn't she married?" She asked. David scratched his head thoughtfully.
"She's not divorced?"
"No...but..." Erica hit the back of his head.
"What are you doing messing with another man's woman?" She demanded. David let out a yelp and stood up.
"Not another man's woman, another woman's woman!" He corrected. Erica was taken aback for a second before resuming her angry state. She advanced on him.
"Doesn't matter. She's someone else's girl. You don't mess with other people's women." She hissed. David put up his hands.
"It's a long story, ok? And I love her. So what does it matter that she's someone else's? We're meant to be, Erica. I don't expect you to understand or approve of it. I just...I really, really love her." Erica rolled her lip in disgust.
"I hate men like you." She snarled and walked out of the green room. David sighed and sat back down, resuming his stretching. He knew it wasn't right. He knew that legally, she was still married to Santana. He let out a hiss just thinking about Santana. He couldn't see why Brittany had been so enamored with her. She was bossy, condescending and cocky. Brittany was the exact opposite, there was no way they could've been together that long.
"And she's lying to her." He said aloud as if trying to convince someone other than himself. He shook his head. It didn't matter, he had a date. She wound up picking him and that's all that really mattered to him.
It was night early, Santana decided as she looked out at the full moon. She lay in bed, facing the window with Brittany reading a book next to her. She closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep.
"Hey San?" Brittany asked. Santana opened her eyes.
"Do you think that we have soulmates?" She asked. Santana rolled over to look at her.
"What brought that on?" She inquired. Brittany closed her book and set it down.
"Well, this story actually." She replied. "In it, the main character's talking about soulmates and how we only have one in our lives and we could spend our whole lives looking for the other person and never find them." Brittany turned to look at Santana. "Do you believe that?"
"Psh." Santana scoffed. "Not for a second. All that 'soulmate' crap is just a literary device. I think you find someone that you really like and you stick with them." Brittany's eyes turned down.
"Oh." She said quietly. "Ok. Well, um...good night." Santana stared at her.
"Do you?" She asked.
"I don't know. Maybe you're right. Maybe we find someone we like and we just stick with them."
"I didn't say that." Santana defended. "I mean...I mean you find someone that you fall in love with and you stay with them because you love them." Santana suddenly had a flashback to when Brittany asked the same question when they were in high school and how she had said the same exact thing.
"Do you believe in love at first sight then?" Brittany continued. Santana looked Brittany straight in the eyes. Her mouth opened to say something but no words came out. A thousand of them swam in her head, mixed in with each other, making it hard for Santana to sort them out. Had it been love at first sight with Brittany? She wondered if it was. They'd certainly been best friends since moment one but did she ever feel that spark the instant she saw that blond girl in kindergarten?
"Ok. Good night." Brittany said. She turned off the lights and went to sleep. By the time Santana worked it out, Brittany couldn't hear her. She reached over and brushed her hair from her shoulders.
"Yes. I do believe in love at first sight." She replied. "Night..."
The rest of the week rolled by slowly. Santana scribbled down notes at work about how the entire scenario was going to play out. She was going to string up Christmas lights everywhere, creating the atmosphere. She ordered yellow daisies for Brittany. She was going to be there and Quinn was going to drive Brittany over. She imagined the look on Brittany's face when she saw the entire area set up just for her. And then she would gather the blond in her arms and say directly to her face that she loved her.
The entire week Santana planned, completely unaware that Brittany was also making plans for that day. Brittany kept texting David and soon they had their date planned out. When Saturday rolled around, Santana got out of bed early to start buying what she needed to make the night more memorable than anything Brittany ever remembered not that it was much. Brittany woke up just as Santana was walking out the door.
"Hey San?" She asked. The blond bit her lip. She wanted to tell Santana about her date that night.
"Yeah?" Santana asked.
"You busy today?" Brittany asked. She wanted to spend the day with her, chatting. She wanted to tell Santana about David, to get her opinion.
"Yeah, kinda." Santana replied. Brittany's shoulders sagged.
"No." Brittany shook her head and put on a smile. "You go do what you need to." She waved her off. Santana nodded and went out the door. Brittany sat on the couch and looked out the window. It was going to be freezing tonight and there was still snow on the ground. She wrapped herself up in a blanket and waited. She watched TV, finished her book and cleaned around the house. By mid afternoon, she got a call from David confirming their date at 6. Brittany naturally agreed. When she hung up the phone however, she couldn't help but feel nervous. She couldn't remember going on any dates. She didn't remember how it went. She wished Santana were home to comfort her, to assure her that the date was going to be just fine. She sighed and rested her chin on her knees. Things were so much easier with Santana around but the woman was always so busy. She didn't make any time for herself. She wanted Santana to slow down, to tell her that she didn't need to work so hard or be so perfect. Things would be just as good if she made a mistake, showed up to work late or left on time. More importantly, she wanted to see Santana happy. The woman worked so hard that she didn't have any time for a social life.
"You're going to end up old and alone." Brittany whispered. "I don't want that." And then it struck Brittany what to get Santana for Christmas. Santana wasn't going to be alone, she was going to have a puppy. Excited, Brittany ran over to the computer to start looking up puppies. It was the perfect Christmas present. The puppy could keep Santana company and she wouldn't have to be alone. Brittany spent a good hour cooing over pictures of corgis, labs and retrievers trying to pick out the perfect one for Santana. When she looked at the time again, she realized it was time to start preparing for her date.
She went into her room to try and find something suitable to wear and decided on a yellow dress she found in the closet. When she put it on, it made her feel happy and she wondered if it was a past feeling that was buried along with the rest of her memories. She twirled around in it and nodded. It seemed right. She put on a light layer of makeup and studied her features in the mirror. She wished she could remember getting to that age. She wanted to know what she had experienced. She wanted anything that could help her on her date, any lingering feelings, any memories that would tell her how to act or how to feel. But her mind came up with nothing and she sighed. She'd have to do this for the first time. When the doorbell rang with David on the other side holding a bouquet of roses, she smiled and accepted them and it began.
Santana looked at her handiwork. It was perfect. She couldn't imagine anything less for Brittany. The lights illuminated the area and Santana had a rose for her sitting in the car. There were wind chimes on the tree that pealed lightly every time the wind picked up. She would confess to Brittany here, at this time, this day. It was the same day she'd initially confessed. It was the same day they got engaged. And now, it was going to be their first day all over again.
She imagined the smile on Brittany's face, the moment they leaned in for the kiss that sealed their love. Santana would have Brittany again and all would be well with the world.
It had been such a long journey, she thought. Brittany had lost her memory and it had taken such a long time for Santana to be able to say to her that she loved her. But she was ready now. She wasn't going to stand idly by watching Brittany go through life without knowing one of the most important things that Santana could tell her. She stood by the water and looked down at the frozen river. Her heart raced with the idea that Brittany would finally be hers. She took out her phone and looked at the time. It was around 8 and it was time. She dialed Brittany's number.
"Hello?" Brittany's voice came through on the other end.
"Oh hey, San! Everything ok?" Brittany asked.
"Yeah. Hey, are you busy right now?"
"Right now?" Brittany asked with some hesitation in her voice. "Well, I...I'm a little busy I guess." Santana wasn't discouraged.
"When will you be free? I mean, I can be here all night. Are you at work?"
"No...um...I...stop that!" the last part made the pit of Santana's stomach turn. Brittany was talking to someone else and she heard laughter. Despite the deep voice, Santana hoped. She hoped it was Quinn, Tina, hell she'd even take Puck. Anyone but...
"Dave! You know I'm ticklish!" Santana's mouth went dry.
"We're almost at my place. Tell her you're busy for the night. You're mine." Santana dropped her phone on the ground. She looked around as if the answers were going to come from midair. Her mouth was open in a silent "why". The phone clicked off and Santana was left with nothing but silence and the sound of wind chimes. The soft clinking of glass mimicked the breaking of Santana's fragile heart.
David wasn't a bad guy. He was so polite throughout the date. He was utterly perfect. He took her coat, pulled out her chair, and held doors. An old lady approached them during the night and said,
"You two make a beautiful couple." David beamed and thanked her. The two of them chatted pleasantly. He never failed to make her smile. Brittany laughed at all of his jokes, that was what she was supposed to do after all.
After dinner, at around 7:15, they went for a walk along the river. The water was frozen and David took her on the ice to skate. She kidded along, laughing when David stumbled. She helped him to his feet.
"Despite that," he said, gesturing to the ice where he had fallen. "This has been the best night of my fucking life." He took Brittany's hand and laced their fingers together. Though his hands were big and his gloves thick, so much so that it was uncomfortable to hold his hand, Brittany let him. It was what she was supposed to do.
When they got back to his car, he kissed her. She was surprised and almost pulled away but she was pinned between him and the car. She overcame her surprise and kissed back. They stood in the cold, lips pressed together, tongues darting against one another until he pulled away.
"Let's go back to my place." He whispered huskily. Brittany knew what that meant. Even if she didn't remember much else, she knew that. Her heart pounded against her chest. She should say no. She should go home and tell Santana and they'd laugh about how David thought he was going to get lucky on the first date. But David urged her into the car and she sat in silence.
"A drink?" David asked and grinned at her. Brittany tried to smile back. He was sweet and she knew he wasn't kidding when he said that he loved her.
"Hey, David?" She whispered.
"Did...did I love you before the accident? I mean, we didn't date but did I love you?" David clenched his jaw and his grin shrank. He seemed disturbed by something. Then his eyes cleared and he coughed.
"I always thought you did." He said. "We had something...but I was always too shy to pursue it. And I think you were always being held back. But I had the feeling you loved me." Brittany remained silent and thought about his words. When Santana called, she picked up, spoke to her until David snatched her phone away and closed it.
"This it our date, whatever she has to say can wait." He said. Brittany nodded but she couldn't help but feel as though something was terribly wrong.
They arrived at his apartment shortly after. David opened the door to his place. It was neat for a boy's apartment. There were a few jackets casually thrown on the couch but it looked recently cleaned.
"Can I get you something to drink?" He asked.
"Yeah, anything." She replied. David disappeared into the kitchen. Brittany fumbled with her cellphone, sending a quick message to Santana.
"Is everything alright?" She typed. "I can leave now. Otherwise I'll be back first thing tomorrow morning." She sent it and waited. David came back with two glasses of champagne.
"Here you go." He said.
"Thanks." Brittany replied, taking it. David set the bottle down on the table between them. They both knew what was going to come of the night but David didn't know how to initiate it.
"You're not drinking." Brittany noted.
"Oh, yeah." He sipped his glass. Brittany finished three in the time he drank half of his. They chatted a little, Brittany commenting on his record and CD collection. He had a lot of music, most of it was because of dance but he was also an avid CD collector. They soon settled into a comfortable conversation.
"Would you like more?" David asked when she finished her third. She shook her head. "How about some music? I can put on the radio."
"I'd like that." She said. He got up and turned on his stereo system. The song came on and David walked over, his blue eyes shining in the dim light. He extended a hand to Brittany and lifted to her feet. He kissed her deeply.
I'm coming out of my cage
And I've been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss.
Santana sat at the table, realizing that everything she'd worked for was for naught. All of this...every small detail was worth nothing. Brittany had never told her about the date. Brittany had never let on that David had made his move.
"Stupid..." She whispered as tears of frustration welled up in her eyes. She folded her arms. The world was so much colder.
Now I'm falling asleep
And she's calling a cab
While he's having a smoke
And she's taking a drag
Now they're going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it's all in my head
David guided her towards his bedroom. It was dimly lit with candles he had prepared just that minute. He had planned the entire night down to this. He wanted her and he was going to have her finally. Brittany felt her heart rate speed up as he moved towards her and grasped her arm. She looked up at him with slightly terrified eyes. Ignoring the expression on her face, he leaned down and kissed her firmly, his hands encircling her waist.
But she's touching his—chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, let me go
I just can't look its killing me
And taking control.
Santana held the rose in her hand. The lights glimmered and snow began falling. Her tears were warm against her cheek.
"Hey Brit?" She whispered. "I wanted to tell you that I love you." Her eyes clouded. "You hear that? I love you." She smiled tragically and her body started shaking. It was just the cold, she told herself even though tears streamed down her face. She twirled the rose in her fingers. "I love you. I love you, Brittany. I love you." And she wished to God she had said those words earlier.
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it's just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes.
David lifted her dress over her head and kissed along her neck. Brittany placed one hand on the back of his neck and one in his hair. Her body trembled but she remained silent.
"He loves me." She thought. "This is right." His hands took hers and put them on his waist. He whispered soft "I love you"s in her ear. His hand grasped the clasp of her bra and fumbled. Brittany reached behind and helped him and he smiled awkwardly. He lifted his shirt over his head and tossed it onto the floor in a rumbled pile. He undid his jeans and slid out of them. She suddenly realized that there was only one more layer between him and her. He guided her down onto the bed and his finger tips toyed with the hem of her panties. She swallowed and nodded hesitantly. He slid them down her legs to join the rest of their clothes.
"Dave?" She whispered. Her voice shook.
"I'll be gentle." He promised, removing his boxers. He kissed her again, his hand guiding him into her. Brittany shut her eyes tightly against the pain. It was over fairly quickly. He collapsed above her, sweating and exhausted. He planted kisses on her neck and she brought herself to kiss his cheeks over and over again. He rolled over and smiled against her arm. Brittany leaned across the nightstand and blew out the candles.
'Cause I'm Mr Brightside.
Santana leaned against the railing over the frozen river, holding the rose. With her free hand, she began pulling the petals off, letting them scatter to the wind and ice beneath her. The distant city lights and the pulsing Christmas lights behind her shone brightly despite the darkness Santana felt inside.
"She loves me." She plucked a petal.
"She loves me not." She plucked another one. It was a game most girls had played when they were little. Let the flower decide whether or not Brittany loved her. One by one they fell until she was left with just one. Her breath came out in a choked sob and she dropped the stem with a single petal on it, the message only so much more bitter. It landed right under the bridge and a strong gust pulled the remaining petal away and dashed it across the sky. She loves me.
'Cause I'm Mr Brightside.