Author's Note: This is my first lemon! I hope you all enjoy this, I worked hard on this and had to read many lemons for inspiration. I hope this is very...kinky. ;) Enjoy.

Night had fallen across Hyrule, and the hero in a green tunic rode on his horse Epona. Despite the fact he had slept for seven years, it sure didn't feel like seven years and of course he was tired. It had been a few weeks since he awoke and all that fighting sure can be hell. And the Water Temple, it was horrible to his lungs and patience.

He decided to ask his good friend Malon if maybe he could spend the night at Lon Lon Ranch. Surely, she'd let him spend the night there. Link rode in and was relieved to find Malon still awake outside, singing to the horses.

"Malon!" Link exclaimed.

Malon's face displayed surprise and ran over to him and Epona. Link dismounted his beloved horse, and upon seeing her remembered just how pretty she was. He blushed a little, but hoped the dark night would hide this.

"Hey, um, I was wondering if maybe you'd have a place for me to sleep in tonight, I've been really tired and could use a um, rest yo-" Link stopped, knowing he was trailing on and making himself look like a fool.

Malon giggled and said "Sure."

Epona ran off to join the other horses, while Malon led Link inside and showed him a nice, comfy bed. Link hopped on it and laid down, feeling how soft and comfortable it was.

"Thanks, Malon. I really appreciate it," he said.

Malon smiled and sat down beside him.

"Link, you ever thought...about us?" she asked.

Link took in the words, and his face had now turned fully red. It must've looked like a cherry. He turned away instantly stuttering a few 'ums' and 'uhs' and then asking "What?"

"You know," Malon began, while taking off Link's hat and removing his sword and weapons, "I know you have something for me, don't deny it. You're gonna have to find someone to settle down with, eventually..."

Link gulped and felt a sensation he'd never had before. What was this? He didn't know much about sex, of course but...he was enjoying it.

"Admit it..." Malon whispered.


Malon reached in for a kiss. Malon's toungue entered Link's mouth and Link, unsure of what he was doing, circled his tongue around Malon's. He enjoyed it so much. He wrapped his arms around Malon, and pushed her down onto the bed. He reached for his pants and all of sudden...Jim Carrey leaped out from under the bed.

"HEY, CAN WE GET A THREESOME IN HERE!" Jim Carrey shouted, standing butt naked.

"OH HOLY JESUS, WHAT THE HELL!" Link asked running for the door.

"No Link! Don't worry, it's ok, he works here now! He's a good friend..."

"What the hell is this!" Link asked, opening the door.

He ran out, stumbled and tripped. He looked back and saw Jim Carrey reaching down, pulling his pants off. Oh hell no.

Link sat up and looked at his surroundings. He was in Hyrule Fields, with the grass poking his legs. He had fallen asleep again. He sighed, mounted the horse and rode off, trying to forget his constant nightmares. Maybe consuming all those potions that healed him but didn't know what they were, was a bad idea.

Author's Note: Seriously, you're looking up Zelda lemons? Keep it in your pants, kiddos.