A/N: Crack? Why yes. Thankyou. XD Heeeeeeeey. :3 Anyone out there? I know. I know. I have been pretty much inactive for the past… Let's just say a very long time. I promise. Updates are in the works and currently being written! Hopefully something will be updated by the end of this month. :) Hopefully… So to ease my guilty conscience and to sooth your possible anger and annoyance…? I have decided to post something short and sweet. ;) And hopefully you guys will also get a giggle or two out of it. :D Cause I mean honestly. Our society is just so screwed up right now that I feel everyone just needs a good laugh. So I hope you guys (are there guys reading this?) and gals enjoy. :)
Warning: This one-shot is crack. C-R-A-C-K! This one-shot is so crackolious that I'm afraid police might just bust down your door after you finish reading and drug search your house. :D You may even get high off this story. XD No. I'm kidding. :) Though this one-shot is pretty ridiculous. Also this story may have or may have not been inspired by another story that's kind of similar… I dunno… If you do find this familiar, like you've read something similar to it before, and you can remember the story, please tell me so that I can add the appropriate disclaimers, or take the necessary actions to make sure I don't get myself into some trouble. :) But other than that, enjoy. Oh and there is some OOC. :3
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO
Heeeeeey – Narrator
I. Hate. You. – Sasuke
Happily Ever—Wait! What?
Once upon a time, in a beautiful castle in the beautiful and peaceful land of "Happy Happy Fairy Land", there lived a beautiful and kind princess.
—Uh… Are you talking about me?—
She was the most beautiful and lovely princess in all the land.
—I'm a guy…—
She had the most beautiful, black, long hair and pure white skin.
—I'm a guy.—
All of the other princesses were very jealous of her beauty and grew more and more bitter as the princess seemed to become more and more lovely with each passing day.
—I'm sorry, but are you deaf or just ignoring me? I'm a guy. You know, as in male. As in not beautiful or lovely in any shape or form.—
But even with her great beauty, the princess was very lonely because she was in love with a very dense, annoying but handsome, and endearing blond prince.
—Hey! Dumbass, I. Am. A. Boy. And I'm not ga—
Who, unfortunately, was in love with another, the lovely princess from "Pinky Cherry Blossom Bubble-Cotton Candy Land". The "Happy Happy Fairy Land" princess wa—
—I. AM. A. GUY! And I. AM. NOT. IN. LOVE. WITH. ANOTHER. GUY!—
Once upon a time, in a beautiful, but manly, castle in the beautiful and peaceful, but very manly, land of "Manliness of Manly Man-ness Land", there lived a cross-dressing prince…ss…
He was the most beautiful and lovely prince… ss in all the land… which is a little sad…
—Wha—You're insane. I'm not a—
He spends hours in the early mornings to make sure his extensions and make up are perfect.
—"Extensions"? What am I extending? And I do not wear make up!—
All the other princesses were very jealous of his beauty and grew more and more bitter as the prince… ss seem to become more and more lovely with each passing day. Which, again, is a lit... Well, way more than a little sad actually.
Definitely not in Disney anymore.
—I will kill you. I'm not some damn cross-dresser! And stop calling me a princess!—
But even with his great beauty, the prince was very lonely because he was in love with a very dense, annoying, but handsome, and endearing blond prince.
—Stop making me gay! What is wrong with you?—
Who, unfortunately, was in love with another, the lovely princess from "Pinky Cherry Blossom Bubble-Cotton Candy Land". The "Happy Happy Fairy Land" prince—
—She can have him, and why do all your lands sound like a drunk five-year old made them up?—
Was very angry. He didn't understand why the blond prince didn't love him.
—Maybe because, oh, I don't know, he's straight?—
The lovely prince would sit before his mirror everyday and nick-pick at his flaws.
—I think you need some serious, professional help. There's this group I know, "Psycho Loonies Anonymous". You should go visit them. They have drugs and padded rooms and everything. You should feel right at home there.—
Then one day, a messenger from the blond prince's kingdom arrived at the beautiful prince's doorstep. He presented the cross-dressing prince with an invitation to the blond prince's eighteenth birthday party. Taking the invitation, the prince felt joy fill in his chest and then he fainted—out cold on the stone floor.
Hours later, the prince finally woke up.
—Did you just make me faint? Do you know how dangerous that is? I could have died!—
Then, oddly, for no apparent reason at all, the drama queen of a whining baby prince fainted again.
—Are you fu—
Out cold. On the floor.
The beautiful prince's many servants were very concerned for their beloved prince's life. "What is wrong with our fair prince?" the people cried in despair.
—"What is wrong" is that the narrator is a first-class patient from the looney bin! Now stop making me fai—
The lovely, young prince fainted again. By the third time, the people of "Happy Happy Fairy Land" became so distressed that they sent for a doctor.
—I think you need a doctor. I wouldn't even need a freaking doctor if you would just stop making me faint.—
Unfortunately, before the doctor could arrive, the beautiful prince fainted again, and the worried people of "Happy Happy Fairy Land" wished the doctor would hurry.
After several nights, the doctor finally arrived, but the prince was still asleep. Even after examining the prince, the doctor could find nothing wrong, so he left the kingdom. The beautiful prince was still asleep. For days, the prince was asleep, unmoving, as his people mourned.
—You did not just turn me into Sleeping Beauty. Some damn prince had better not—
Then after many days, the blond prince arrived at the beautiful prince's castle because his kind father had sent to discover the reason behind why the kingdom of "Happy Happy Fairy Land" wasn't so happy anymore. The servants of the castle told the handsome, blond prince about their sleeping, beautiful prince. Extremely curious, the blond prince went to see the sleeping prince. Entering the room, the blond prince saw the beautiful prince and marveled at his beauty. It was love at first sight.
—Would you like to be torched or shot?—
Captured by the sleeping prince's beauty, the blond prince felt a pull towards the sleeping prince and his feet moved towards the bed and—
—NO! ! !
! STOP! ! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! STOP! STOP!—
Kissed the beautiful prince.
—I hate you…—
The beautiful prince opened his eyes and fell in love with the blond prince all over again.
—I wasn't in love with him to begin with!—
The beautiful prince and the blond prince fell in love and then—
—No, we didn't! Who the hell is the "blond prince" (*) anyways?—
They rode off into the sunset on two grand, white horses.
—Hey! Don't you dare stop! At least let me go on a mass killing spree and then commit suicide! Don't goooo!—
And they lived happily ever after.
—You bitch! I'll kill you. When I'm done with you, you'll wi—
—Bullshit "the end"! This isn't over! You just wait! Avoid dark corners you bi—
(*) – Can you guess who the blond prince is? XD
Short and sweet, yea?
Oh my. I don't know why almost every author feels the need to abuse and mess with Sasuke. XD Maybe it's because he's being so unagreeable in the manga currently. I mean honestly! It is really so hard to go crawling back to Konoha, beg for forgiveness, proclaim his obvious love for Naruto, and then make amazing sex to make up for all that lost time? Oh dear. I'm rambling/fantasizing. Hahaa. I'll stop. :)
Please review and hope everyone's doing well and I'll talk to you guys later. :D Oh my. That sounded really youtubey. O.O Grr. I've been watching waaay to many youtube videos latey. :'( Ahh! Stop the youtube madness! XD