Disclaimer: I do not own him, but Alucard will bang everything in this story. If you've got a problem with that, don't read it. Don't say I didn't warn you!


Alucard knew it was about that time. He was about that age. That tender and precarious age in a young half-vampire's life when he felt compelled to do everything. Literally.

Maria Renard walked by.

Banged.

Simon Belmont strolled into town.

Banged.

Soma Cruz casually power-walked by.

Banged.

Alucard was feeling pretty good about himself.