Warning: Contains scenes of a honeymoon and custard nature.

Summary: The Doctor and Donna have accidentally married, made a home visit to tell Sylvia and Wilf, and promised a wedding ceremony.

Disclaimer: The BBC owns Doctor Who; always have, and probably always will.

A/N: This was written at the request of bio_damped, and sort of as a response to Travellers' Tales prompt # 12 - chemistry at doctor_donna.

Chapter 5 - The Night After the Wedding

The Doctor look at Sylvia dumbfounded. His lips echoed the words "she's pregnant" but no sound came out. He made a dash towards Donna's almost prone figure as she emptied her stomach, taking care to help her keep the veil and dress out of harm's way.

"Are you alright?" he enquired, pulling out a handkerchief to wipe her mouth clean.

She smiled weakly up at him, "Must have been something I ate. I feel much better now."

"Is this the first time you've been sick?" he asked, helping her to extract herself from the bush area.

"No, I've been sick before!" she threw him a disgruntled look. "Oh, you mean recently! No, no I haven't, it just came on suddenly."

"Maybe we should…erm…," he glanced back towards where Sylvia stood, "check you over once we get home."

"Why? What do you suspect?" she looked tired and drawn he thought as he caressed her cheek.

"Nothing really, but I'd like to eliminate a few things," he admitted.

"Like what exactly?" she insisted.

He cleared his throat, "There is the remote possibility that you're…erm… pregnant." Seeing her shocked expression, he quickly added, "It isn't very likely but then again it isn't impossible; so I think we should check before…"

"Oh great! Just when I thought today was going quite well, I might have gone and got myself pregnant!" she told him indignantly.

"But I thought that you wanted…," he protested weakly.

"Yeah, well it's one thing wanting something and another thing actually being it!" Her expression softened as she looked into his stricken eyes, "Do I take it you rather hope I am?"

The Doctor did his trademark nervous neck rub act, "Now you mention it… yeah, I think I do!" His face split into a wide grin, he pulled her into a hug and buried his face in her neck. "I'm beginning to think it would be wonderful," he whispered.

"Now I truly know you are an alien and not a man!" Donna smirked. "No normal bloke would be pleased at this moment."

"As I keep telling you, I'm not normal!" he huffed.

"And as I keep telling you, stop giving me so much ammunition!" they laughed together. "Now about this meet and greet thing…"

"Ah yes! I'd forgotten about that for a moment," he resisted the impulse to kiss her sickie mouth, and went for her forehead instead. "Jack has the car ready and waiting."

"Is it the only thing Jack has ready and waiting?" she asked knowingly.

"Erm… might be. We'll have to wait and see," he took hold of her hand and wrapped it around his arm. "Shall I let you have the honour of any punishment?"

"Yes please!" she giggled. "I'll have to think carefully about what would pass as punishment for Jack."

He whispered something extremely naughty in her ear, and she swatted his arm exactly as he expected her to. Sylvia helped get her dress and veil neatly into the car; then they sat back and waited for Jack to announce the inevitable surprise he had for them.

"Well folks! What's it like being legal in two different galaxies?" Jack boomed his question at them from the driving seat, wearing his cheekiest grin.

"It feels… legal!" Donna laughed. "But I don't need to explain how feeling married is like to you, do I? I'm surprised you didn't bring a weevil or something with you for company!"

"No, I left them all back at the Hub. I thought the Doctor needed a break from all that!" Jack grinned.

"Thanks for that, Jack!" Doctor chuckled. "I knew you'd be good for something."

"I'm not just good, I'm very good!" Jack quipped, making Donna laugh again.

"I may be asking for references later to prove or disprove that statement," she told him with mock authoritarian tones.

"How about I give you a demonstration instead?" Jack winked at her.

"Oi! My wife, Jack, not yours! Remember that, will you?" the Doctor interceded.

"Ooh! I love it when you're all masterful!" Donna snuggled into him and gave him a teasing smile. "What have you got planned for later?"

"Jack!" the Doctor admonished him before he even managed to open his mouth. Donna had to hide her face in his jacket to control her giggles.

Their meet and greet was to take place at Donna's mum's house; since they felt a grander venue was unnecessary. The Wednesday girls had put on a fantastic spread for them, Donna had to admit, and they all treated her like royalty. It made the day wonderful! Both the Doctor and Jack were working their way through the buffet, enjoying themselves enormously, but Donna was a bit sick of the sight of sausage rolls.

"Try one of these," Jack waved a plate underneath her nose. "They're delicious!"

Donna eyed whatever it was with suspicion. "Why? What have you put in them?"

"Nothing! I wouldn't try to poison you!" he protested.

"Not poison, no; but something else may be," she cautiously smelt the items on the plate.

"You really don't trust me, do you? After all this time!" Jack sulked.

"If I didn't know you had access to strong sedatives and retcon I'd be inclined to believe you!" Donna smirked. "But I'm not risking anything today."

"When will you risk it then?" he asked; but he never got an answer because Donna suddenly clamped her hand over her mouth and made a dash for the stairs.

Fortunately the bathroom was vacant when she reached it, and she emptied her stomach again. The Doctor arrived in the doorway seconds later, "Did it happen again? Are you okay? Do you want any help?"

"I could do with less questions and more answers," she replied from her folded position over the toilet pan. She didn't protest when he helped her to clean herself up, and handed her some toothpaste to get rid of the awful taste in her mouth. "Well…that was fun," she said sarcastically.

"Fun enough to do again?" he asked, as he tenderly washed her face with a flannel, before giving in to his earlier impulse to kiss her.

"Looks as though I might be. Do you think we ought to carry out that test now? As in right now rather than later now?" Donna had a sudden urge to get a definite answer to her pregnancy question.

"Come on then," he took hold of her hand. "I've moved the TARDIS into your bedroom."

"When did you do that?" she was impressed with his fore-thinking.

"Ah! That would be telling!" he gave her a mischievous grin. He led her into the bedroom, where the TARDIS stood in all her glory behind a perception filter. "I thought this way we'll get some privacy."

"I like the way you think," Donna told him delightedly. "Though why did you think we'd need extra privacy?"

"So that I could do this!" he swooped down to pick her up and carry her into the TARDIS once Donna clicked her fingers. "And I plan to ravish you till dawn!"

"That poor girl gets dragged into it all the time!" Donna joked. "Now, masterful husband, take me to your medbay."

"Certainly, dear!" he beamed at her. "Or would you care to try out the marital bed first?"

She screwed her face up in pretend consideration. "I've seen the marital bed before, so I'll try the medbay first, if that's okay with you?"

"Fine! Have it your way! The scenery in the bedroom is lovely this time of day," he placed her carefully on the medbay bed.

"Oh, I'm sure it is!" she giggled, "And I fully intend to view everything later! But let's get this out of the way first?"

"Okay. Open up!" he took a small swab of her mouth and placed it into a small tube and pressed a few buttons. Thirty seconds later the machine he stood next to pinged and printed out the result. He tried to read it without emotion, and he could feel Donna's eyes almost assaulting him with her curiosity. He smirked then handed her the paper.

Her face lit up, and her eyes shone with sudden tears. "I'm officially pregnant!" she announced softly. "It's true! We're going to have a baby!"

He wrapped his arms around her, and placed gentle kisses on her face. "What do you want to do now?" he whispered to her.

"I think we ought to celebrate by taking that trip to the marital bed you suggested, and then go back to the party afterwards," she told him.

"Sounds like a great plan to me!" he exclaimed. "We don't want to miss… anything." He reverently picked her up and carried her into their bedroom. "Is there anything in particular you want me to do whilst we're here?"

"Erm… shut the door?" Donna laughed as he tackled her neck and zip at the same time.

He kicked out at the door to shut it, "And now for the scenery…. Wow! I love the bridal underwear!" He manoeuvred them onto the bed to investigate further.

"I don't think it'll suit you!" she grinned. "But you can try it on if you like."

"I'd rather try it on with you! Or I will once I get this thing undone. Why so many ribbons?" he pouted.

"What ribbons? I'm not wearing anything with ribbons!" she tried to sit up. "What on earth are you fiddling with?"

"There…that's got it!" he cried, which was followed by a bang! And an ominous cloud of yellow powder engulfed them. "What?" he surveyed the yellow tinge that coloured Donna and then himself, "What?"

"Jack?" suggested Donna, "With a custard powder bomb by the taste of it." She grabbed a tissue and spat a small bit out of her mouth into it.

"I was right. It does make you look stupid and funny!" he laughed. "How did Jack know about the custard?"

Donna looked sheepish, "I let that one slip, I'm afraid. Are you angry with me?"

"On a day like today? No!" he pulled her into his embrace. "It gives me something to lick off you," it amused him how Donna screwed her face up in disgust at that thought, "and we'll always remember what happened when we found out about the baby."

Donna halted him from capturing her mouth, "I think we need to shower first, don't you? Otherwise we'll end up with custard in places we won't expect."

"Mrs Noble, you have some wonderful ideas!" he whisked her off the bed and headed for the en suite.

"Thank you, Doctor Noble! I aim to please!" she started to undo his buttons.

The custard powder bomb turned out to be much more fun than any of the gunky monsters the Doctor had introduced them to. And Donna had the added bonus of thinking up a suitable punishment for Jack. All she had to do was work out where she could get her hands on a Herkon porcupine.