Author's Note: As some of you may know I have a collection of stories where I like to write little humorous scenes and scenarios from various manga. 'Why Kakashi Should Never Read Out Loud' is an example with each chapter being its own little humorous tale. I've decided to go ahead and use this title in a similar way. Some chapters will relate to the original story while others will be totally separate. I simply hope all of you will enjoy them and get a good laugh.
During PE Kensuke and Toji again got Shinji alone to talk to him.
"You know man you really ought to come clean about what you're doing." Toji told him.
"That's right! There's no way this can end well!" Kensuke insisted. "I mean don't you ever read manga or was sit coms on TV?"
"Come on guys, for once things are really going great for me." Shinji said.
"But it can't last man!" Toji said.
Kensuke nodded. "Think about it Shinji! From this point on you have to act like you believe everything people say to you or else they'll start to realize you're faking. Sooner or later you're going to slip or be forced to act like you believe something you don't want to."
"I've managed so far," Shinji replied.
"It's only been a week though!" Kensuke shot back.
"You're both way too worried about this." Shinji assured them with a smile. "I mean what could possibly go wrong?"
To his surprise both his friends took on identical looks of shock. Their mouths fell open and they wordlessly stared at him.
"You did not just say that!" Toji cried.
"You're doomed Shinji," Kensuke called like some gypsy laying down a curse. "Doooooooooooooomed I tell ya!"
Sighing he shook his head. "What are you two talking about?"
"Don't you know anything Shinji?" Toji asked him. "There are some things you absolutely NEVER say!"
"To actually say, 'what could possibly go wrong?' Is like spitting in the face of the gods Shinji!" Kensuke told him. "It's practically inviting disaster to strike! Something horrible will definitely happen to you!"
"So?" Shinji asked calmly. "Something horrible is always happening to me. My mom died, my father abandoned me, I'm forced to fight inside a giant robot with the fate of the world riding on my shoulders, I've been beaten up, blown up, mangled, manipulated, and dissolved. Trust me; nothing could be worse than the things I've already endured."
He headed off to join the other boys forming up to play soccer.
"He's dead," Toji said with a shake of his head.
"Yeah," Kensuke agreed.
Following school Shinji was at NERV headquarters changing in the pilot's dressing room. Despite Toji and Kensuke's weird and dire predictions the day had been totally normal. No Angels had appeared and Misato had not shown up with some bizarre request. Everything was just fine.
The door to the dressing room opened and his fellow pilot entered.
"Shinji-kun it's so good to see you." Kowaru told him sitting down on the bench a bit too close.
"Hey Kowaru, good to see you too."
"I've heard you've lost some of your memories. Is that true?"
"Yeah, but don't worry I can still pilot Unit 01."
"Oh, I wasn't worried about that Shinji-kun. I was worried you'd forgotten about us." He gently placed a hand over his.
"Uh, what do you mean?" Shinji asked nervously.
Kowaru leaned in closely. "We used to have a special relationship."
Oh crap. Shinji thought.
Though what happened next was not something he wanted he could not prevent it without admitting he no longer suffered from amnesia.
Twenty Minutes Later
Misato looked up with a frown as her two male pilots finally arrived. She noticed that Kowaru had a bright smile on his face and an unusual spring in his step. Shinji though was moving a bit stiffly as though he were sore or something. There was also a strange look of shame on his face.
"Are you all right Shinji-kun?"
"Just fine," he said weakly. "But, ah, I may have trouble sitting down."