Misa Amane, otherwise known as Misa-Misa, had a secret.

The narrator would like to point out how wrong that statement is, because Misa-Misa had many, many secrets that would bring civilizations to their fucking knees were they to ever get out into the open. Secrets that would make you squirm, secrets that would make you scream, secrets that would make you want to rethink your pathetic existence while toggling the thought of whether or not to off yourself in some horrendous, bloody way.

"I can hear you, ya know," Misa-Misa announced loudly, filing her nails and chewing noisily on a piece of bubblegum. "I'm not as stupid as everyone makes me out to be. Don't make me kill you."

If it wouldn't be too much trouble, the narrator would like to request that the fourth wall not be broken today, as it isn't covered on the insurance and contractors are lying, money-stealing scum. Please and thank you. Also, good luck to Misa-Misa on trying to find the narrator's name; she makes sure that nobody knows. Ha.

Most people knew Misa-Misa as the model, the actress and in L's case, the Second Kira. Coincidentally, all of these were indeed correct, though the last one the narrator's sure everyone would've liked to be found false, but eh, who cares.

The narrator digresses.

While actually being the Second Kira was in itself a quite secretive secret, it was not the secret; no, the secret was much better, much bigger, much juicier, much more of a secretive secret when compared to having the ability to kill people with a notebook and a pen. And what was the secret, you may ask?

Misa-Misa didn't love Light Yagami. Nope. Not at all. Never did, never would.

Most of you are probably sitting in front of your computer with a humorous look on your faces, but yes, it's true. Just as Light used Misa-Misa, she used him; her real love was someone very close to Light, someone he would go batshit insane on Misa-Misa for loving if he ever found out.

Just to clarify, no, it's not L.

It's Sayu.

Oh, but how, how could it be possible? How could a girl like Misa-Misa possibly love another girl so shamelessly, so (nearly) openly? And Light's younger sister, at that? Easy.

She's a lesbian. Shocking, isn't it?

But, it's not possible! She's always all over Light, professing her love for him almost every five minutes! She killed for him, she'd die for him, and she obviously loves him! She can't love another girl; she's in love with Light!

As true as that may be, did it ever occur to you that Misa-Misa might be a fantastic, Oscar-award-winning-material actress? Let's just say that Misa-Misa always takes every one of her roles seriously. Also, do you honestly know what she did off screen? You weren't there.

"You make it sound like we did something wrong," the Lolita-dressed blonde mused, shaking the bottle of hooker-red nail polish in her hand. "It sounds like you're implying that we did the nasty, the wango tango, the Deed. It was just some harmless kissing and touching."

In the narrator's opinion, most, if not all, of those kisses and touches were probably less than harmless and a far cry from innocent.

"It's more than you've ever gotten."

Way to go, Misa-Misa. Blatantly ignore the narrator's feelings and just rub it in her face that she's never been in a relationship, why don't you. You're an angel sent from heaven.

"Well, if you got off your lazy ass and went out to look for a boyfriend, you might actually get your first kiss. The way it's going right now, you're looking at being single for life and living with cats."

Maybe the narrator is waiting for Mr. Right to come along and sweep her off her feet; she doesn't really want to kiss every boy she goes out with, it makes her feel like a slut. Plus, she's a dog person, but not that it really matters because seriously, wasn't this story about Misa-Misa and Sayu?

Speaking of which, it seems that Misa-Misa and Sayu will have to take over the narration for the time being because the narrator has a math test to take she's been skillfully avoiding but can deny no longer.


Author's Note: Haha what the fuck just happened? To be completely honest with you, I don't know. I'll probably turn this into a two- or three-shot, just something small to get a stupid idea out of my head.