A/N: Soooo... this is my 1st fanfic, yikes! I'm nervous. I want you to know that english is not my native language and I do not have a beta. So I apologize for any errors in the text, grammar or the way the story flows. Ok, here we go.

Disclaimer: Twilight and all of it's characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. I do however own the plot and the storyline of this story, so no copying without my permission.

Chapter 1




A lot of people don't know what their personal hell is.

I do.

It's the school bus.

A school bus full of teenagers, smelling of hormones and sweat.

The school year had just started a week ago and now it was the day of the school trip. Our english teacher Mr. Green decided that it would be a GREAT idea to take the class to the library in Port Angeles. Port Angeles was a bigger town and therefore had a bigger library. Well, at least it was bigger than the library that our little craptown had.

Forks, Washington.


It's so boring and deserted here that me and my friends call Forks WEGD. "Where the Elephants Go Die". I sighed and jumped out of bed, knowing I couldn't prolong this any further. I wanted to skip school today, but with my record that would mean getting suspended. Which I'm sure my dad wouldn't appreciate too much.

So how did I end up in this small town? Well, my mom died in a car accident 2 years ago and our family had been breaking apart since then. She was like the glue that held us all together. After she died I started acting out a little. Well ok, a lot.

I got into a bunch of shit and even ended up in a holding cell for a few times. I just couldn't deal with that shit, with my loss. So my father eventually got bored of my behaviour and told us it was time to change scenery. Apparently Seattle wouldn't work for us anymore.

He told us he got a job at a hospital in a town named Forks and that we would we be moving there. Of course that didn't go down well with me and my brother Emmett. We screamed and yelled and fought about it for 3 days straight. But we had no effect on our father. He didn't back out. And when he told us in a shaky voice that he also needed a new scenery, we stopped fighting him.

So here I am, in Forks. Where nothing ever happens and it fucking rains like all the time.

Reluctantly I went and opened the window. It was raining. What a fucking surprise.

I pulled my cigarettes out my pocket and lit one. Exhaling the smoke I started to feel my mind relax. So I sat there in quiet and smoked 2 cigarettes in a row, trying to prepare mentally for the day ahead. Finally realizing I was running out of time, I finally got into the shower, pulled some clothes on and headed downstairs.

The kitchen was quiet and empty, Emmett and dad must of left already. I grabbed a bagel out of the table and stuffed it in my mouth while pulling my jacket on. I headed to the garage to see my baby: my silver Volvo. Man, I love this car.

I pulled up at the school parking lot 20 minutes later. Standing around a red convertible was a group of people. My crowd, my friends.

Emmett had his arm around Rosalie, whispering something into her ear. And judging by the look on her face, it was something I didn't want to hear. Emmett is my brother, my twin actually. Which is ridiculous because we look nothing alike. But we are not identical twins anyways. We're both Juniors in high school. Rosalie is his girlfriend and also the Queen Bitch of the school.

Damn it, look at them all happy and shit. Makes me remember how we started out in here...

On the first day of school I pulled up at the parking lot of our new high school with Emmett by my side. We were both tired and hangovered as hell. The previous night we ended up drinking and playing video games until 4am. Dumb shit, I know. But that's us. Cullen brothers were never described as people who gave a fuck.

The first day of school went by easy. Just like the following days. We had no trouble blending in and before we realized it, we were apparently within the "in-crowd".

Which wasn't really surprising, I'm sure our looks helped too. Emmett is tall and muscular as hell. He has dark brown hair and brown eyes. He looks menacing to anyone who doesn't know him, I'm sure. But inside he's a goofball, that dude never stops joking or playing around, it's just his personality. But don't get me wrong, he has his dark side too. He loves fighting and sometimes on a bad day he would just look for any excuse to start a fight. But who am I to judge, I do the same.

I'm a little bit shorter than Emmett, but not by much. I'm muscular too, but not in the "in-your-face" kind of a way that he is. I'm more slender, my muscles more defined. I have brown hair with some bronze in it. Most of the times it's all over the place, and I just didn't care enough to try and control it anymore. Plus chicks LOVED it. They loved putting their hands on my hair while I fucked them, it turned them on or something like that. I have dark green eyes and I'm pretty damn good looking, even if I do say so myself..

So a few weeks after we moved here, Emmett really started feeling the most popular girl in the school, captain of the cheerleading squad. Rosalie.

I mean yeah, I wasn't really surprised by that. She was totally his type. I mean the girl looks like a runway model. She has straight blond hair that almost reaches her ass. She's skinny, but has curves in all the right places. Yeah, she was beautiful.

To be honest, there was a time when I wanted to hit that too, but then Emmett told me he's into her. So I decided to be a good brother for once, and backed out. I never thought it would become something serious between them though, since Emmett wasn't the type to settle in. He was more like the type to fuck a girl and then afterwards climb out of her window. After making sure she had fallen asleep first of course.

But to my surprise, he was serious about Rosalie. He really liked her. To me, I didn't really see the pull. I mean yeah she was gorgeous, but she had a big fucking mouth and she wasn't afraid to use it. I swear, that girl gets into as many fights as me and Emmett do. Not that she ever loses them though. Hence the nickname Queen Bitch. I didn't mind since she was just a friend, but I couldn't imagine dating her.

So with Emmett being pussy whipped by Rosalie, I turned my attention somewhere else. Somewhere else being Rosalie's friend Tanya. She was fucking hot, she also has blonde hair, but she's a little shorter and skinnier. Don't get me wrong though, she also has curves in all the right places, otherwise I wouldn't of even bothered.

She was more than flattered when I started paying attention to her. When I asked her out on our first date she squealed. Like literally squealed out of excitement. My first plan was to just fuck her and move on, but something changed. I saw the way my brother was like with Rosalie, I saw the way she made him all happy and shit. And seeing Jasper and Alice together didn't help out either. I don't know, I guess I didn't want to be the odd man out.. So for the first time in my life I wanted more than sex. Well, it also doesn't hurt to know that you can get laid anytime you fucking want to. So I stayed with her and we started dating seriously. And now here we were, 7 months later.

Jasper's howling pulled me out of my reverie. He was laughing at something Alice had said to him. He picked her up from her feet, hugged her close to him and kept laughing. Oh yeah, Jasper and Alice. Jasper's a linebacker in the football squad just like Emmett. He's really nice looking I guess, at least judging by the way girls reacted to him. He has dirty blonde hair that came to his ears and blue eyes. He's tall and slender, but he has some serious muscles too. He was basically every girl's wet dream I guess. Too bad none of those girls had a chance, because he had Alice.

Alice. The little pixie. She's short, and I mean SHORT. She has dark brown hair that was cut short and pointing at every direction. She's slender but there's something about her that just screamed out SEXY. I mean when you first look at her, you think she's just cute and that's that. But after you get a second look, you can really see that there's something there. There's something in her that makes you just wanna rip her clothes off and... well yeah. Jasper and Alice have been together for like 3 years now. 3 fucking years. And they still weren't bored of each other. Weird.

I sighed and finished smoking my cigarette. Reluctantly I finally got my ass out of the car and started walking towards my crew.

"Hey cutie.."

A sudden voice behind me made me stop. I turned around to see Jessica and Lauren standing behind me, looking at me with lust filled eyes. I couldn't help but sigh again.

"Lauren... Jessica... sup?"

"Nothing handsome.. just enjoying the view..." Lauren smirked at me while eyeing me up and down. Well she was more than just checking me out, she was basically eyefucking me.

I didn't really get it. I mean I know that I'm damn good looking, but I wasn't even wearing anything special today. Just some dark jeans, a green hoodie and a leather jacket on top.

"So... Tanya still sick huh?" Lauren asked and tilted her head and smiled at me. Probably thinking it made her look cute or some bullshit.

"Yup, she should be back in a few days though" I told her while looking at something in the distance, I didn't want my day to be ruined by a skank-attack.

"Oh, well... That's too bad" Jessica now said and winked at me. Fucking winked at me.

I sneered at her openly. No matter what happened in this world, no matter how horny I would get, I would never EVER fuck either of them. I don't do skanks. I mean these are the girls that get A's by sucking off their male teachers.

"Why don't you two bitches just leave Edward alone and move on." Rosalie was by my side all of a sudden, hostility just radiating out of her.

"I'm SURE Tanya wouldn't like to find out what you two skanks were up to" she told them while pointing her well manicured finger at both of them.

"Ay Rose, it's cool. You know we're just playing." Lauren tried to smile at her. But when Rosalie snorted, Lauren and Jessica got really hesitant looks on their faces.

"Well... yeah umm... see you at practice Rose! See you later too Eddie" Lauren smiled and winked at me, before turning around and hurrying away with Jessica by her side.

Man, I'm really glad those bitches weren't in my english class. A bus ride with both of them would make me wanna hang myself.

"Thanks Rose" I turned to her and winked.

"No problem. I know you don't like the idea of beating bitches up, so I just thought I would make it easier for you". She winked back at me and then turned around to go back to Emmett.

I followed her and when Emmett saw my face he started laughing out loud.

"Man, you really DO hate school trips huh!" he yelled out loud while still laughing.

"Fuck you bro. I don't even give a fuck anymore. Let's just get this show on the road. Literally." I grumbled while I walked by my crew and continued walking towards the bus that was already waiting for us.

Everyone just let me walk ahead of them, most of them not even saying hi. They know to leave me the hell alone when I'm on a bad mood.





Ring ring, ring ring, ring ring... Ughhh... No, not again. It can't be morning again!

I was mumbling cuss words while I turned around and slammed the alarm clock shut.

7.30. Great. I guess it was morning again.

I sighed deeply and sat up on my bed while rubbing my eyes. Another crappy night. Looking back at the previous night I tried to count in my head how much sleep I got. Probably around 4 hours.

I sat on the edge of the bed, put on my warm socks and headed downstairs in my PJ's.

"Morning honey" my dad called out to me. He was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee. He was already wearing his uniform. Yup, my dad was the chief of police. Hurray... Wait, no-one cares? Ok, moving on.

"Morning dad" I sighed back. I got a bowl from the cabinet, a cereal box from the counter and milk from the fridge. Setting them all on the table I sat down too.

"So.. how did you sleep last night?" he asked while feigning innocence. But his eyes always revealed the worry he had for me.

"Umm.. Pretty ok I guess... Around 4 hours I think" I told him while pouring the milk.

"Ok honey. So umm.. Anything special going on in school today?" he asked while reading the paper.

"Yeah dad, today's the school field trip. Remember?" I mumbled while eating my cereal.

"Oh yeah, yeah.. Where are you going anyway?" he asked, keeping his eyes on the paper.

Oh boy. This is not gonna be good.

"Umm... We're going to... Port Angeles..." I said in a low voice, a part of me maybe wishing that he wouldn't hear me.

All of a sudden my dad snapped his head towards me and was looking at me with terrified eyes. He started choking on his coffee and had to get up from the table and get some water. Yup, I guess he heard me.

"Bells! Why didn't you tell me! Well... ok, let's not panic. I can call the school right now and tell them you're sick or something." He said while already walking towards the phone, ready to grab it.

"No!" I yelled while jumping on my feet. I walked over to him and grabbed him by his shoulders.

"No, dad. I want to do this. I NEED to do this. I need to have a normal life!" I told him while looking straight into his eyes.

"But sweetie, you don't have to. I mean, you can have a normal life without having to go to Port Angeles...Or Seattle. There are a lot of places in this world! Just because those two places are... hard for you, doesn't mean you can't have a normal life!" he told me intensely.

"But dad, we live in Forks. The closest town is Port Angeles and the nearest major city is Seattle. I can't avoid this forever, I have to go. I have to. You need to trust me" I pleaded with him.

He just stood there looking straight into my eyes, trying to find something in there.

"Bells, if that is something you want to try.. If you want to try and go to Port Angeles, I think you should do it with me. I can be there to support you and get you out of there quickly if it's too much. But honey, this is a school trip. I know you don't really... Get along with a lot of kids there. So you would be there with a bunch of strangers really, and you won't have a way out until the teacher decides it's time to go. Sweetie, can't you see that this is a bad idea?" he tried to convince me one last time.

"But dad... This is exactly why I want to go there with my class. Because like you said, they're basically strangers to me, no-one knows anything. No-one is going to give me weird looks and wait for me to freak out. I think it's going to be helpful if I'm surrounded by people acting... Well, normal" I let out a huge breath while still looking into his eyes. I knew he would see the truth in them.

He sighed deeply and looked down before looking back at me again. "Okay then sweetie. But make sure you have your cell phone with you. Now, if it becomes too much you can call me anytime. And I mean anytime, and I will come and pick you up myself. Ok?"

"Ok dad, I will. Thank you for understanding." I smiled at him and gave him a quick hug, before running upstairs and getting ready.

20 minutes later I was on my way to school. Pulling up to the parking lot, I noticed that most of the students from my english class were already there. Just hanging around, waiting for the bus to leave. And THEY were here too. The "IT-crew". Most popular kids in my school. A shiver ran down my spine and I wasn't exactly sure why. It's not like they bullied me or tortured me. No, they didn't do anything to me. Nothing at all. They just completely ignored me, like I didn't exist. And somehow that bothered me a lot. I don't even know why. Maybe it's because I know that if my past had been different, I would be a part of the crew too. I mean, I was always popular before... and Alice and Jasper were my best friends. But that was before... Before...

A sudden knock on my car window startled me and I let out a yelp. Looking out I saw the smiling faces of Jacob and Leah. My best friends. Well actually, my only friends...

Smiling back at them I got out of the car and gave them both a hug. "Hey guys, what's up?"

"Nothing much, getting ready to go to Algebra" Jacob said while grunting out loud.

Leah giggled and wrapped her arms around him.

"It's alright baby, we'll get through it. Together" she said to him sweetly and gave him a kiss.

"Ugghhhhh, can we PLEASE keep the PDA to a minimum while I'm around?" I mumbled embarrassed.

That was the thing about my 2 best friends. They were dating. And I was happy for them, really were, but... Sometimes it made me feel like the third wheel. Most of the times actually. A part of me wished we could go back to 7 months ago, when Jacob was still too intimidated to ask Leah out. A time when we were all just friends, hanging out. I know that's selfish of me, but right now I didn't care.

"So B, are you excited about your field trip?" Jake asked me eyes gleaming with amusement.

I snorted out loud. "Fucking yeah! Can't wait! A bus trip with some strangers and the popular crew. It's gonna be fun!"

Jake and Leah laughed out loud together. Aw, ain't that cute... Not...

"Well try to hang in there B. I'm sure you'll be fine" Leah said while giving me a tight hug.

"Yeah thanks guys. I think I better go now, looks like everyone else is in the bus already. That means I'm gonna be the last one to enter and you know how much I absolutely LOVE attention" I told her while rolling my eyes.

Leah giggled, kissed me on the cheek and started walking away. Jake did the same and then ran up to her and smacked her ass.

Great, que-in another eye roll.

I started slumping slowly towards the bus, feeling my determination draining out of me. Can I really do this? Am I really ready? What if I freak out in front of everyone? Oh god, if that happens I will beg dad to move me away from here.

Taking a deep breath I squared my shoulders and climbed in the bus.

A/N: So there's chapter 1! Please leave me a review, constructive criticism is always welcome!