A/N: Hi :D Right. Now. This is a cliché of monumental scale. Involving an alien aphrodisiac. Yeah. Not very original, I know, but I wanted to give it a go seeing as I haven't already lol. Anyways, I hope you like it, predictabilities and all...Enjoy if you will ;P x

Ohhhh, I almost forgot to say, Jack is in this too, even though this is Ten and Rose...I'd have loved a series with them three in it, so I love writing fics where you'll have to just imagine he's found them again somewhere during series 2 :D x


He Told Her Not To Drink That Cocktail...

"Doctor...?" she began, and the Doctor knew there and then that she was going to ask him something cheeky. She had that curious, imploring tone of voice. Kind of mischievous. He sort of liked it. But he wasn't going to tell her that.

"Yes, Rose?" he replied, carrying their cups of tea over to the jumpseat, where she was laying casually.

"Do you ever think about sex?" she asked innocently.

He dropped the cups, and heard them smash to the floor, scattering shards of china everywhere and giving the grating a good soaking of boiling tea. A few wires hiss and fizz, and he just stared at her with a horrified expression on his face.

Did she really just ask him that? He was expecting cheeky, but not full on personal and related to...that.

He blinked, his throat dry.

"Doctor, you alright?" She sounded concerned, but he was very quick to realise that she was smirking beneath that facade of worried-ness. She stood up and laid a gentle hand on his arm. "You look like you've seen a ghost," she murmured.

He swallowed thickly. "I'm...I'm fine! Fine and dandy! Absolutely fine! Fit as a fiddle!" he announced, taking a step back from her.

She stepped towards him, closer this time. "You certainly are," she whispered seductively.

"Wh...what?" he stuttered. Rose was acting very strangely. She was never usually this...suggestive...

"So, you gonna answer my question or not?" she said, her breath hovering over his chin as she looked up at him.

He tried to step back further, but his bum only hit the console. He was trapped. And Rose...Rose was pushing herself further and further into his personal space with every moment.

"No," he muttered.

"No, you're not going to answer me? Or no, you don't?"

He averted his eyes from hers. Her eyes were looking a bit lustful right now, and he didn't think he could take anymore of gazing into them unless he wanted to have a hearts attack.

Which, coincidently, is something she very nearly gave him when she pushed her hips into his. However, due to that treacherous part of his brain that was quite happy with these turn of events, his hearts simply beat quite a lot faster, and pumped blood around other areas of his body fairly rapidly. No hearts attack here.

"No," he croaked out, very aware of her hand running up his arm, across his chest. She flicked open his jacket button.

"No?" she prompted.

"No, I er...I don't," he decided.

"You don't what?" she grinned sexily.

"I don't think about...that." He was lying profusely, of course, and Rose knew it.

"That's a shame," she said teasingly.

"Is it?" he squeaked.

"Mmm. 'Cos I don't think this part of your anatomy quite agrees with you," she giggled, pressing closer into him.

He felt a bit hot under the collar, at that. Well. More like a lot.

Oh dear.

"Rose...what's...er...what's going on?" he stuttered, even as he let her push his jacket off his shoulders.

"We're going to have sex," she said, as if it were obvious.

"Um...no...no we're not," he insisted, grabbing her wrists to stop her wandering hands before she got too carried away (and before he lost all ability to stop her.)

She pouted. "Why not?"

"Because you're quite obviously not in your right mind."

"Why would you think that?" she asked, apparently baffled.

"Because you never usually start to undress me and suggest doing...that."

"Well, I'm suddenly feeling the urge, so..."

"Rose, are you drunk? Has Jack given you hypervodka or something?" he asked her seriously.

"No! I just...I kind of need to...um..." Floundering in her words a little, she decided to show him. She stood on her tiptoes and brought his lips to hers in a ferocious kiss.

He lost it then. For a few minutes at least. He couldn't help it. She was Rose, and she was kissing him, and he didn't care if that were wrong because it was quite nice, weeellll, more than quite nice, and he was enjoying himself. But when she pulled back for air, he came to his senses. He gripped her upper arms and pushed her slightly away from him.

"Rose. Something's wrong, here. I can't...I can't let us do this when there's obviously something wrong. When did you start to feel so...up for it?" he asked tentatively.

"Since I met you," Rose grinned cheekily.

"Rose. Seriously, now. When did you feel the sudden urge to jump me?"

Rose tried to press against him again, but his firm grip kept their bodies away from each other. Close, but not quite touching. Which was very frustrating. Not to mention, distracting.

"Rose?" he prompted.

She cleared her throat. "Right. Um...when we came back from..." she faltered, looking at his lips intently.

"Rose!" he commanded, and her eyes snapped back up to meet his.

"Sorry...er...when we got back from Reaiko, no wait – it was as we were walking back to the TARDIS, I started to feel a bit weird. Sort of..." she trailed off, contemplating tugging his tie off so she could get a good look at his neck. And maybe bite him, just there –

"Rose, concentrate!"

"Oh...right...yeah. I sort of felt a bit tingly. And then, we got back here, and I had to sit on the jumpseat 'cos I came over all faint...but you and Jack were arguing and that really shouldn't have been so sexy and - "

The Doctor's eyebrows shot up. But no way was he touching that topic of conversation with a barge pole. Eugh.

" – and then he went off in a huff 'cos you said something mean - "

" – it wasn't mean. I was simply telling him that his account of the Uksi War was completely wrong, because a) they didn't even have Mrolo guns at that point in time, and b) - "

" – I really don't care," inserted Rose, her hands creeping up to loosen his tie. There. That's better. Some tantalising bit of neck showing now. She'd quite like to –

"Right. Anyway, go on. What next?"

She shook her head, willing her imagination to stop supplying her images of the things she really wanted to do to him right now. "So you said you wanted a cuppa, so you went to the kitchen...and then..." she paused again, much to the Doctor's agitation.

She couldn't resist any longer. She leant forward so forcefully that his arms couldn't restrain her and she launched herself at his neck, nipping and licking and –

"Rose! Rose. Rooossse..."

She smiled against his neck, and began to unbutton his shirt.

"No!" he cried, rational thought returning again. "No, Rose, stop it. Stop it." He pushed her again, and this time she stumbled backwards, putting a good couple of metres distance between them.

"Oi!" she exclaimed, folding her arms.

"Sorry, but...but you have to...not do that..." he informed her. Somewhat regretfully.

"Doctor, why can't you just let it happen? It's going to eventually," she told him dismissively.

"Yeah but – no, wait, what? No it isn't. Just...um...carry on with what you were saying!" he told her, and as she stepped forward, he fled to the other side of the console room. "And stay there," he warned.

Rose rolled her eyes. "I don't bite," she laughed.

He raised an eyebrow and gestured to his neck. "Er, yes you do," he retorted.

She grinned. "Yeah, but you liked that."

He narrowed his eyes at her and avoided the question. "So...? I went to the kitchen and...?"

She frowned, thinking. "And...oh yeah. And then, I started to feel really strange. Like, my vision went all blurry, and I stood up and then fell back down into the chair again. Then...then after a few tries I managed to stand up properly, and came in to talk to you about it. Then I saw you in the kitchen, putting the teabags in the mugs and I came over all funny. Like...a sort of surge of...of...I dunno..."


"...and then you sensed I was there or whatever and asked me to get the milk out of the fridge. So I did, and my hands were shaking and everything. And then I handed it to you and your thumb brushed against mine briefly and then I had to lean against the counter 'cos I felt like I was going to faint again..." she trailed off, watching his thoughtful gaze process this.

"Is that why you rather spectacularly fled the kitchen without so much as a 'hello, goodbye?'"

She nodded. "Yeah...'cos I realised I was feeling quite...well, that I'd quite like to...kiss you. So I thought I'd better get out of there before I did something I'd regret. Then you came in here, and I'd been trying to get my heart rate back to normal rhythm but seeing you made me realise that I..."



"Go on," he urged her.

"I don't care about the consequences anymore. I just want...I just want you."

He gulped. "Right."

"And that's about it," she finished, her eyes roving up and down him as she spoke.

"Rose...I think you better come down to the med bay..." he said carefully.

"But I'm fine. I feel fine," she insisted.

"Rose, you've had blurry vision and have been feeling faint. Add that to the fact that you spontaneously 'want' me, you are definitely not fine."

"Look, Doctor - "

" – no. No more. You're coming with me, now." He ignored her suggestively raised eyebrow, walked over to her and grabbed her arm, leading her to the infirmary.

"Doctor, you know, we could skip all the medical equipment, and you could just...I dunno...examine me yourself?" she suggested.



"Be quiet."

"What? It seemed like you threw yourself into that kiss back there, so I dunno why you're suddenly acting all repulsed by the notion of me and you...dancing."

He span around so fast that Rose nearly fell over, but she didn't because he pressed her against the wall and held her there, his hands framing her face. "I'm not," he whispered.

"Then let yourself give in, for once. Make love to me," she requested, her voice suddenly soft.

He swallowed nervously. "Not like this. Not when you're obviously not quite...right. Rose, I think maybe, back on Reaiko, you came in contact with something. It's called the Eroa tree, and often the Reaikoese use the leaves from the tree to make a sweet-tasting mixer. Did you have one of those cocktails that I told you not to drink when we walked past that market stall?"

Her eyes widened. "Oh."

"I'll take that as a yes," he scolded, but then he smiled gently at her.

"It wasn't my fault!" she insisted.

He rolled his eyes.

"It wasn't! It was Jack, he said I 'simply had to try one, they're delicious, don't listen to the old man.'"

The Doctor's expression turned thunderous. "He...he what...oh that man is in serious trouble."

"Why? Look, I don't understand what's so wrong with - "

" – Rose, the leaves from the Eroa tree are like - "

" - I drank an aphrodisiac," she interrupted, breathing heavily and getting the gist of what had happened by the way she really couldn't think of much else but a naked Doctor right now.


"And Jack knew this," she assumed, biting her lip to keep her from closing the gap between them.

"Yes," he said curtly.

Rose grinned. "Guess he's getting a bit frustrated with us turning him down all the time," she laughed.

"Rose. It doesn't wear off. Weelll, it does, it just takes a long time."

She stopped laughing.

(She also stopped her hands, which were previously taking a journey down the Doctor's back and over his bum, but seeing as both of them had profusely pretended to ignore that she was even doing it anyway, he couldn't exactly complain when she stopped that.)

"What?" she exclaimed.

"You have to...wait for ages for it to...wear off...sometimes, it can take, ooh, hours?"


"Weeelll. Days, sometimes. But don't worry - "

"Days? I can't go on feeling like this for days! I'll explode!"

He looked a bit sheepish. "Sorry. Actually, no I'm not. It's Jack that should be apologising," he muttered.

"There's nothing you can give me...no drugs or antidote or something to counteract it?"


"Well that's a bit stupid, isn't it? Not having an antidote for that when you have one for everything else."

"I didn't exactly plan on having to use one," he retorted hotly, his breath fluttering against her lips.

"Yeah, but you took us to that place where it was possible that one of us might drink some of that...whatever it was called..."




"Hmph." A thought suddenly occurred to her. "Hang on, if you knew all this anyway, and you don't have an antidote, why are – were – you taking me to the med bay?"

"I can do some tests; see how big the dose is. And so work out how long it will take for you to...er...recover."

"Shouldn't be days though, right? 'Cos I only had one. They wouldn't put that big a dose in one drink, surely?"

"The Reaikonese are very tactile and...well. Et cetera. Think, like rabbits, only a thousand times more."


"But they don't naturally get like that. That's what the holy tree of the Eroa is for. That's their - "

" – Viagra?"

"If you like," he chuckled.

"Doctor?" she whispered, trying really, really hard not to latch her lips onto his.

"Yeah?" he murmured back.

"I really, really hate to say this, but...could you get away from me please? Because if you're standing this close but not actually doing anything to relieve this completely exhausting but incredibly amazing feeling that I have right now, I won't be responsible for my actions."

He pulled away from her and tugged his ear awkwardly. "Right. Yes. Course. Sorry."

"To the med bay?"

"To the med bay," he agreed, nodding swiftly.