pleasure shared is pleasure doubled

Once the President and his "new secretary" had gone into his office, and the door was safely shut behind them, the soldiers on guard felt safe enough to exchange knowing winks. Neither of them was stupid to actually say anything out loud, but the expression on their faces spoke volumes.

Of course, everyone knew that being the President had perks. Big, big perks. Perks about the size of the tits on that "secretary", if you wanted to get accurate measurements. And the soldiers wouldn't have minded doing some measuring.

And he was discreet about it. He didn't go parading them round on his arm and getting his wife all embarrassed. He just had a "secretary" visit every now and again. Perfectly normal.

There was a slight noise from inside the room. It might have been furniture shifting. Once again, the two soldiers exchanged knowing glances.

Then the first soldier coughed. There was a dreadful, tearing pain in his lungs. He looked down, feeling his rifle slowly slip from his hands, and saw a sleek metal blade sticking out of his chest. Blood ran off the end to drip on the floor. His legs were weak, they couldn't hold him up, but something kept him upright, like a butterfly pinned through his back. Out of the corner of his eye he could see his fellow soldier twitching and contorting, wriggling on his own spike, coughing on his own blood.

Death did not come nearly fast enough.

After the noise had died down, the door to the President's office slid open again. The President walked through, then his secretary. He was wiping blood from one of his swords with a rag: she was licking blood from her fingernails. Two symmetrical holes on either side of the door, directly above the bodies, marked where the soldiers had been standing.

"I'll have the carpenters in at once," the President said, as though continuing an earlier conversation. "Nothing like an assassination attempt on me to whip up some patriot spirit."

The woman nodded and smiled. Her lips were as red as her fingernails. "I do so enjoy doing this sort of thing together every once in a while."

"Nobody could possibly blame you for it," the President said.