Disclaimer: I do not own any character from Harry Potter, all rights are J.K Rowling's.
Musical Inspiration: I Want My Innocence Back – Emilie Autumn
A/n: Um.. Heyyyy…. So, funny story. I was cleaning out my filing cabinet looking for papers on the novels I'm in the middle of and lookie what I found! The many, and when I say many I mean MANY crack pairings/ harry potter fan fics I wrote wayyy back in highschool.. and some of them aren't half that bad! .. but some of them are crazy _. I don't even know if I'll post them all.. But here is one I am particularly fond of.. so Please enjoy! And haters/trolls alike can jog on.. LOVE YOU ALL
A/n2: I'm bored, it's 1.05 in the morning, I'm trying to study Latin and I'm feeling under the weather. So, yeah, I damn well upload something else today. So sue me! Xo.
I fear by the time you receive this letter it will be too late for James, Lily and, horribly enough, young Harry. Perhaps even Sirius.
I need to tell you what is going to happen, if I don't it will go with me to my grave; which, in fact, is coming closer with each second. I know you've seen the scars on my face and my hands and despite what I've said, I tell you now with great sadness that I have not done them to myself. It is from the physical torture of Voldemort's hands. I have been through more pain in a day with him than I ever would have with my parents in my lifetime. But this no longer matters. My pain is almost at an end.
Almost a month to date was when my life started turning for the utmost worst. I know you may, or may not, be surprised to know that Pettigrew has betrayed you. He showed himself to one of my fellow Deatheaters, asking for the Dark Lord himself. To this, I was deeply sickened.
Voldemort called a meeting to see if your friend, Pettigrew, was ready or not to become a Deatheater – traitor would have been my choice of words. I was one of the chosen few who stood close enough to guard him. Voldemort began asking him question after question and the rat poured out his soul to him. I was even more sickened. Never, in all my life, did I think that a Griffendor could sink so low.
It was when Pettigrew began to talk about my brother that I could feel my anger start to rise; then he spoke ill of you as well, again it rose. But when he spoke the name of James, I marched forward and struck him across his sorry excuse for a head. I had never yelled so loud, saying all sorts of curse words and the like. I heard the Dark Lord call my name. The next thing I knew was a blinding pain 100 times more powerful than anything my parents could have ever have conjured.
Many times this had happened. I couldn't help myself. I hated the fact that, despite everything you Marauders had been through, he still spat on your friendship. And every time I 'approached' him on the subject, Voldemort would find us. And as ignorant as I was, at first, I doubted the rumours of James and Lily. But when I heard the prophecy for myself, I broke down. Voldemort, now knowing how 'close' all of you were, asked Pettigrew (who he was now calling Wormtail) to be his spy.
Since that, I tried to go out, run away with one of my companions from within the ranks. Each time, we were caught and cursed. My companion died on our second attempt. It was close to the end of the month when Pettigrew came running to Voldemort, announcing not only to the Dark Lord but to everyone within an earshot that he had been named Secret Keeper. I was stunned, to say the least. I had thought for sure that, if anyone other than my brother, you would be the one to make sure that no one ever found the Potters.
Voldemort, I can tell you, was extremely please. The flame grew from there.
And that is where I am now. I ran away from Voldemort, trying to find you, Sirius, the Potters. Anyone.
I'm currently in hiding from Him with some other Deatheaters. I can't tell you, Remus, how fucking scared I am. I have never felt this frightened any day of my life, and that's saying something. Remus, I pray that you receive this letter before it's too late and tell Sirius, tell James. I know there isn't much life left for me, so, please, tell Lily that I am so sorry for calling her those hideous names, like mudblood. Tell her that if I ever truly hurt her, that I am so sorry.
Tell my brother that, even though we fought all the time, he was still my older brother and I loved him. Tell him that I cared for him more deeply then he could ever have imagined and all those words I said, those looks, those names, I am incredibly sorry. I never wanted to hate him. I never wanted to hurt him. Tell him that, despite everything, I always looked up to him and that I was cursed and hated as equally as him . . . which doesn't matter anymore. Tell him that I am sorry . . . for everything.
Give young Harry my blessing, will you? I hope he grows to be just like his father.
To you, Remus, I am sorry for all the names I have called you and the cold things I've said. I'm sorry that I made fun of your condition, I never meant to go that deep into your personal life and pester you. I'm ever so sorry that I made fun of your close relationship with Sirius. I know you too must have been so deeply in love with one another . . . whether that still exists or not. I was wrong to judge. I'm such an ignorant bastard and I can't stop myself now from apologizing. Remus, you're the smartest person I know. You had tried to help me, and I turned you away. I wish, now that I hadn't. Take care, Remus. I have a strong feeling that someday in the near distant future something will happen in your life that will affect you immensely.
And, finally, I have one last thing for you to do for me. It will be hard, but if he lives, I need you to tell James that I loved him. Yes, oh yes. I loved James with a passion beyond comparison. Ever since Sirius came home from his first year, talking nonstop about him. Ever since I first saw him on the train; I knew I had fallen in love. James was the one I had wanted to be with forever. But when I told him I 'wanted' to become a Deatheater . . . everything went wrong. We fought for days. Then . . . I just hope what I've done will help them someday.
Please, Remus. Tell him that I'm sorry and I loved him. No, love him. Even though he doesn't love me any longer. I know, forever, that I'll love him.
The fellow Deatheaters are leaving now. I'm not going with them. This is the end for me.
Please take care, Remus.
A/n3: I wish you could see this. On the actual paper I drew in 'blood stains'. Awh, I was so cute! Anyway, yes I know crack pairing but that was the fun thing about shipping the Marauder characters. There were so many holes... I hope you enjoyed! Expect more of this pair.. I loved JamesxRegulus almost as much as SiriusxRemus! XOXOXOX.