Alexander Lavelle Harris, Crayons Optional

Ninnik Nishukan

Summary: Xander and Spike on an info hunt. The Weight of the World, season five.

"Getting paranoid, Harris?"

Xander sent him a blank look. "Paranoia's kinda your friend when you live in Sunnydale, Spike."

Spike looked ready to say something sarcastic, but eventually only shrugged. "Point."

Xander gave a shrug as well, then. "Besides, I watched Scream 2 the other night, and well— I figured it only takes a couple of seconds of my time to double check."

"What, that whole song and dance about the baddies always coming back to life?" Spike snorted. "Always had you pegged for a movie geek."

"And so says the guy who knew exactly what I was referring to," Xander retorted immediately. "And make no mistake, when somebody finally stakes your soap opera-watching ass, I'll be the first to—"

"You'll be the first in line to piss on my ashes, right?" Spike suggested dryly as he retrieved his cigarettes from his coat pocket.

Xander made a disgusted face. "I was gonna say I'll be first to make sure you don't pull a Dracula on us— and can I just add a 'sweet mother of eeeww' to that?"

Spike smirked, flicking his lighter open. "Oh, don't pretend you've never thought about it. I know you grudge-holding types."

Rolling his eyes, Xander opened the door.

As he waited for Spike to go outside, Xander flicked a speck of goo off of his own shirt sleeve. "Gah, that was gross. At least vampires only turn to dust."

Spike lit up, taking a long drag on his cigarette. "Yeah, we're right polite that way."

Xander closed the door behind them, satisfied with a job well done. At least here was one mess that Buffy wouldn't have to deal with herself.

And he got them a shiny new dagger in the bargain, too. Well, it'd be shiny once he'd cleaned up the creepy old magic guy gunk from it, anyway.

Author's notes: AKA Mr. Harris Watches Movies AKA Mr. Harris Unwittingly Saves the Day. Not much else to say. I haven't watched Scream 2 in years, it was just a thought that came to mind. Gotta wonder what season six would've been like if Xander and Spike had actually killed Doc that time.