Naruto was walking on a high.
He had a beautiful fiancée on his arm a best friend by his side and a brand new trophy head on his belt.
What could be better?
He was receiving glares from the villagers but now they were smart enough to know insulting him would be a very bad idea.
"You know Naruto if you keep grinning like that the wind will change."
"Would that be so bad?" a scolding was well on its way but they were distracted by a pair of women walking towards them they drew the eyes of the men with their beauty and the women for the gossip they could bring.
They were both stunning to look at they both had on expensive clothes and jewellery they both had midnight blue hair only a few shades different between each other they both looked only 17 and 16 and both of them resembled Hinata so much they could have been sisters.
Now Naruto understood why Yuruka had picked Hinata.
They were the women Yuruka had divorced.
And they were walking right up to him.
"I am Konoka Suzunami." the taller and possibly older said
"And I am Matsuri Kudo." the smaller one said
"Are you Naruto Uzumaki?"
"yes." the two women surprised Naruto by enveloping him in a two way hug that almost squeezed the life out of him crying out thank you's Naruto turned blue from lack of oxygen before the women realised where they were and regained their composure.
"We wish to thank you for what you have done I know it sounds horrible but he truly was a cruel man." Konoka spoke.
"the only reason we even stayed with him is because he kept saying "if you don't stay I will just find a different bitch could you live with yourself knowing that someone else is shouldering the pain you couldn't." we both gave in eventually but thanks to you we don't need to worry." the two bowed low before him "if there is any way we could possibly reward you please let us know the fire daimyo was generous to us when we left his son"
"it's all right after all I got the best reward anyone could possibly receive" he kissed Hinata on the cheek the three exchanged a few pleasantries with the women telling him once more just how much the two were indebted to him before heading off. "Oh better go and clean up my apartment having not been there in years I would hate to imagine the state of it." Hinata and Kiba suddenly stopped walking and exchanged a sudden look of knowledge. "What's wrong?" Naruto kept on walking he was just around the corner of his home.
"Uh Naruto about your apartment." the group rounded the corner and Narutos jaw hit the ground what he saw before him was a sign in front of his apartment building:
4 HOURS 80 RYO.
1 DAY 400 RYO.
1 WEEK SPECIAL.
GET A PENTHOUSE SUIT AND ANY GEAR YOU NEED TO BOROW EVERYTHING FROM LINEN SHEETS TO RIDING CROPS.
ONLY 3500 RYO!
And the building behind the sign was nothing like the building Naruto remembered tall covered in tinted glass which was covered in neon tubes with the words "love" all over it.
The apartment building had been transformed into a love hotel.
"when you left many of the people wanted to celebrate they started by getting drunk then trashing your apartment one thing led to another and someone might have accidentally used a fire style jutsu and burnt the building down a few years later some wealthy business man might have bought the land to be built upon." Naruto was still looking at the change before him wondering if he would have to sleep on the streets again before something clicked.
"OOOOH MISS SUZUNAMI" he ran in the direction the girls from earlier had left.
Naruto once more tasted dirt as his jaw hit the floor.
Before him stood a large house/mansion it had a small pond out back five guest bedrooms as well as a master bedroom, Naruto suspected that to fill any baths in the house he would have to dry out a village well or two and the dojo behind it was said to be filled to the brim with every kind of practise weapon fake enemy and could withstand a small hurricane suddenly starting up in the middle.
Naruto now held onto the keys to the house still dumbfounded as the two women walked off with wide smiles on their faces.
"And they say they still owe you?" Kiba asked getting only a silent nod from Naruto "that will come in handy later."
The three friends walked into the house every surface was either white or cream coloured with the occasional splash of colour from a painting or flower it was a very beautiful house Naruto saw a small hot spring in one of the rooms.
"Hey guys you go on ahead? There is something I need to take care of."
"Okay where should we wait?"
"Living room I guess."
"Okay and where is that?" Naruto was about to tell him exactly where when he looked left there was a hallway that way he looked right there was the hot springs he looked behind and in front of him seeing more hallways and realising he hadn't the faintest clue the three agreed that Hinata and Kiba would search the house and Naruto would follow the two after he had finished in the hot springs Kiba and Hinata headed off while Naruto entered the springs and for some reason he felt like he was being watched and then he noticed the small outlines in the trees just outside his house.
He recognised the silhouettes as Sakura and Ino they had probably gotten curious during the match and decided to follow him and find out something to tell the other kunoichi so they could gossip the night away.
Well if they wanted info they were about to get a books worth.
He took the head of Yuruka from his belt and knelt near the edge of the spring he took his ceremonial dagger and carefully slid it beneath his scalp sawing it along so from top till bottom making a perfect strip of flesh and muscle leaving only a slightly stained circle of bone he moved onto the next strip he proceeded to take strips of flesh from the skull it was a bare skull with only a few small pieces of muscle left Naruto moved onto the spine griping it at its joint in the skull pulling and pulling until he heard the snap telling him the joint had been separated.
Sakura and Ino had been having trouble keeping their lunches in their stomachs as they witnessed Narutos very gruesome ritual ,Ino had retched when they heard the spine snap, but then they saw him take a small hook from his belt lined it up with the skulls nose and rammed straight up into the skull Ino fainted as Naruto began scraping around inside till he caught the brain and pulled it out Sakura was barely able to keep her lunch in but she kept preserving and witnessed Naruto place a small drop of a glowing blue liquid in the water the water bubbled and began to glow Naruto gently put the skull it the mix using the hook to keep a hold of it he seemed to count to three and pulled it out.
It was a perfect pristine white grinning skull all blood and remaining tissue was gone and it seemed to have been buffed to an almost mirror like shine Naruto put the skull back on his belt and seemed to murmur a prayer before stepping back inside his house Sakura went to follow him but her forehead seemed to hit solid air and for some reason she heard a strange clicking sound.
Naruto had just passed another spare bedroom when he heard a banshee scream he looked out a window in time to watch as Sakura carried Ino bridal style and seemed to run like her life depended on it, it was only after Sakura had left the property that Swiftknife started laughing hysterically and turned off his cloak.
"Did you really have to?"
"They were trespassing."
"Later on we are going to talk about your people skills." Naruto turned around and saw Hinata and Kiba standing in a doorway worried looks on their faces.
"Naruto is everything okay?"
"Yeah." Kiba asked the obvious.
"Then what the hell was that scream?"
"Oh, Swiftknife scared Sakura." Hinata and Kiba agreed that the information was sufficient.
Kiba and Hinata led Naruto to his living room Naruto was amazed at what he found there were two leather couches and two leather recliners each surrounding a large coffee table with three mugs of tea already in the centre the three took their cups of tea and sat down Naruto and Hinata took one couch with Naruto wrapping his arm around Hinata while Kiba slouched in the other and Akamaru curled up in one of the recliners the scene looked like something you would find in an old photo album.
"You know Naruto I think I should try the same training you did if it made you this strong I would probably be invincible."
"Are you saying you could do better dog boy?"
"That's exactly what I'm saying Shorty." Naruto chuckled.
"I doubt you could beat a Xenomorph."
"Oh yeah and what is a Xenomorph?" Naruto looked past Kiba.
"Swiftknife could you show him one of your logs?" Kiba turned to look at who Naruto was talking to but there was no one there he didn't even smell anyone he turned back.
"who are you-" HISSSS right before Kiba was a large creature its body was closely resembled a human skeleton on its back was small hollow tubes it head was bulbous and very long the back of it reached its shoulder blades without effort and from its mouth sprouted a smaller mouth that snapped shut just a bit before Kibas nose
Of course this Xenomorph was only a hologram projected by Narutos wrist blades but the hologram was quite realistic so realistic in fact that Kiba seemed to be frozen in shock.
"That wasn't very nice Naruto."
"Oh he's fine aren't you Kiba?" Kiba just sat there mouth agape and eyes boggled no sound escaped from his mouth Hinata was getting worried.
"Kiba?" no response "oops I think I broke him."
"Naruto you had better snap him out of this or there will be hell to pay." Naruto stood up and walked up to Kiba waving his hand in front of his face without success Hinata cracked her knuckles there was only one thing Naruto could think of
"You know I didn't think I would have to use this for quite a while you know until we were old enough to drink." Naruto grabbed Kiba by the ears jerked his head from side to side before slapping Kiba on both sides of his face at once and FINNALY a response.
Naruto awoke the next morning and just thought of how good life was here he was in his king sized bed in his new mansion and he was about to start on his ninja journey.
Naruto stood up and had a nice hot shower and went to collect his gear when he suddenly noticed a small pile of folded clothes with a note on top at the foot of his bed.
The note read:
I am sure you have noticed that your outfit from the predators is gone now there is a very good reason for that I didn't want you to get arrested for indecent exposure as a minor.
The outfit is durable and has the same cloaking capabilities as your old outfit and is just as heavy so you don't need to worry about your training and your brother Swiftknife was able to integrate your mask into your headband so all you need to do is pull it over your eyes and you will be like any other Yautja.
Your brother also made your weapons ready to help you as a ninja instead of as a hunter.
Yours sincerely Hiruzen Sarutobi, the third Hokage.
Naruto pulled on his outfit and instantly liked it he had on black shorts with legs that reached a bit past his knees his torso was covered with a black long-sleeved shirt that didn't close but underneath it was an orange t-shirt seemed like Swiftknife remembered Narutos almost fundamental need for orange on his outfits, getting him to wear the traditional dress of the predators was a challenge in itself.
But what really impressed Naruto was the weapons that Swiftknife had made strapped to both his thighs were a pair of plasma casters but these were hand aimed and fired but the lack of a guidance system allowed it to be able to recharge by itself endlessly (think AVP 2) he had also left a smart disk that was able to fit in a small pocket sewed into the back of his undershirt just above the shoulder blades so all he had to do was reach over his neck and he had it and Swiftknife had not forgotten the ever useful combi stick, on the back of his pants was a small magnetic system to hold it there in its closed state and was easy to reach for Naruto.
Overall he looked badass.
Naruto, Hinata and Kiba walked into the classroom ready to be assigned to their squads hopefully all the same everyone almost immediately turned and looked at Naruto obviously Sakura had obviously been gossiping about her run in with Swiftknife because of the fearful looks he was receiving from the classroom.
"Hey Sakura can I talk to you for a sec." Sakura was hesitant but eventually did join Naruto in the corner.
"Please put this in your ear." he held out a translator which Sakura refused.
"You expect me to put something in my ear given to me by a kid I have not seen in 6 years and recently had his freakish alien brother threaten my life for a small amount of trespassing? Yeeeeeah right!" she was sarcastic.
"look I could have you arrested for stalking and trespassing which is likely to keep you busy for the entirety of the day do you really want to ruin you perfect record over a simple task?" she considered for a small moment before placing the device in her ear "thank you, now Swiftknife." nothing happened for a few minutes "SWIFTKNIFE!" the alien Sakura had seen before suddenly appeared right behind Naruto looking away from Naruto, he seemed to be sulking.
"I still don't see why I have to apologize."
"Swiftknife we talked about this, if you want to be accepted as a superior life form you first need to work on your people skills this is the first step." Swiftknife gave a deep sigh before turning to Sakura.
"I am sorry for threatening you." Naruto wasn't satisfied.
"And the threat about me ripping out your heart putting it on a bonfire and- dancing around it was just a lie we don't actually do that." privately Naruto and Swiftknife shared the same thought.
"much." Sakura smiled slightlybefore holding out her hand for a handshake.
"It's all right Swiftknife." Swiftknife looked at her hand before a light went off in his head.
"ooh I have read about this." he took her hand and twisted it so the back of the hand faced upwards before anyone could stop him he removed his breathing tubes and mask while everyone was transfixed with his sharp mandibles and spiked hair he leaned down and placed his lipless teeth to the back of her hand like a knight of old he stood back up and reattached his mask so it could hide his look of pride as Sakura went back to her group with a dazed walk that suggested she was walking on instinct.
Swiftknife turned back to Naruto who just had a look of horror on his face.
"What?" ignorance truly is bliss.
Ah Swiftknife, always the romantic
The names Matsuri Kudo and Konoka Suzunami did come from the DS game bleach: the third phantom i am not all that good at names so i decided to just copy them
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