Title: A New Future
Author: Trista aka dustytiger
Disclaimer: I don't own CM it belongs to a lot people who aren't starving baristas.
Summary: After receiving some unexpected news Prentiss runs into Rossi, somewhere she never expected to see him.
Notes: This is the one of the angsty-ist and saddest fics I've written in long, long time. This does deal with character death, kind of... so be warned. You'll see what I mean. Definite Kleenex warning though. This is a challenge from the Chit Chat on Author's Corner (search it under forums it's great) My pairing was Prentiss/Rossi and challenge was This is the last place Character A & B ever expected to run into each other. I ended up asking for a place cause my mind was going to dirty places, and was told the gyno's office. Then my brain went in a very, very different direction. Enjoy!
Emily Prentiss was waiting for her doctor to come back into the room. She was glad to be in her own clothes again. She pulled her sweater around herself tighter, wondering why these rooms were always so cold. She waited for the doctor to come back into the room, hoping that he would tell her something else was wrong with her. She knew already what the result of her visit was going to be. She took a deep breath and began to drift away from where she was to a time more than three months ago.
She was laying in her hotel room, not able to sleep. The case they were on was a brutal one. Someone had been kidnapping kids, then four weeks later the children's bodies would be found in parks and other public family oriented places. She heard a soft knock at the door. She pulled on her robe and went to the door. She smiled when she saw him there.
"I couldn't sleep," he admitted.
"Me either, but what are you doing here?" she asked him.
He kissed her softly. "It's been over a week of this, I need an escape."
"We agreed, not on the road."
"I know, this case is different. I'm going to go out of my head if I have to look at you much longer, unable to touch."
She kissed him softly. "I missed you too."
"You know I can't stop when you do that thing with my lower lip."
"You better be gone before the team is up."
"I love you," she whispered pulling him toward the bed.
"I love you back," he rasped before beginning to suckle her neck.
Prentiss wanted to get lost in the memory of that night but it was hard to do where she was. She shivered opening her eyes, hearing the door squeak open. She looked up and saw her doctor. She knew the exam was over but she still couldn't help but feel like it was going to start again. He sat down across from her.
"All right Emily here are the results of your test," said her doctor. "It's positive, you're pregnant."
Prentiss nodded silently, feeling tears well up in her eyes. "All right."
"I take it this isn't good news?"
"It's not that I don't want this but it's just I can't tell the father."
"I know it can be hard sometimes."
Prentiss shook her head. "It's not that I don't want to tell him. I actually can't."
Prentiss couldn't believe that she was finally pregnant and she couldn't even tell the father of her baby. All she wanted was to see the look on his face when she told him. She was forcing back tears, trying not to think about the day she had lost him. She knew she had to tell the rest of the team but she wasn't sure how.
"I'm sorry Emily," the doctor told her. "You know that you already high risk, if you have anyone who can help you when you get further along it will help your chances."
"I'm sure I can find someone that I work with who will help me," she assured her doctor.
"All right. Here is your next appointment, and congratulations."
"Thank you," she whispered.
Prentiss left the office more confused than when she had gone in. She had known logically before that she was likely pregnant, but she was hoping she wasn't as far along. She was glad in a way that she would always have a part of him in her life, but it was going to make things more complicated. Her mind was racing, thinking about the day she lost him. She searched through her purse looking for her keys. She bumped someone, she looked up, surprised by who she saw in front of her. She never expected to bump into him at her gynecologist's office.
"I'm sorry," she said, looking up, her jaw dropping. "What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to talk to you," David Rossi told her.
"This could have waited until I got back to the office. I told you I had an appointment today."
"How did you know where I was?"
"I'm a profiler too. I had a feeling your general malaise of late was something more than a cold or missing him."
She looked away from him. She didn't want to tell him about what was going on. She wasn't sure how she was going to tell the team, but she knew that it was going to be hardest to tell him. Prentiss thought that someone on the team might figure out what was going on but she'd hoped it would be anyone but Rossi.
"Am I right?" he asked.
She simply nodded, glad she didn't need to use more words because she couldn't even think about how to formulate them yet. He pulled her toward him in a tight hug. As much as she prided herself on her ability to compartmentalize she couldn't hide her feelings. Tears began to fall down her cheeks. He held her for long time before he helped her to his car.
She was surprised that he was going in the opposite direction of work. He drove in silence to his cabin in Little Creek. They went inside, and Prentiss couldn't help thinking about how different it was being there this time. She wasn't sure why he had brought her there, and stood in the doorway. She pulled her sweater closer to her. Shivering, trying not to start to cry again.
"Make yourself comfortable," he told her.
"Thank you," she whispered.
She sat down on his couch, it felt like she was sitting on a cloud. Her mind was still racing. She leaned back and closed her eyes until she felt someone sit next to her. She opened her eyes and smiled when he handed her a mug of hot chocolate. She nodded her silent thank you, glad for something warm in her hands.
"When you're ready, I'll listen," he told her.
Prentiss took a sip of the hot chocolate. "Dave I don't know how I'm going to do this," she sighed, fighting tears.
"Emily you're a smart woman I know if anyone can do this, it's you."
"A baby should have two parents, or at the very least one who can devote time to the child. Who isn't working all over the country and putting herself in danger. All this baby is going to have is me, and how can I support it in every way it needs?"
"Are sure the baby is-?"
Prentiss shivered thinking about that night a month before she had shared with Rossi. There were times where she still couldn't believe that it had happened. Then Rossi would do something like he had that day by showing up to support her in a way she never would have expected. She wondered if that night might have meant more to him then he let on. It had all started innocently with him offering to take her make her dinner.
"Emily?" he asked her, following her to her desk. "You haven't done anything but work in the past two months."
"I'm not sure I'm ready yet," she replied.
"I'm not asking you for a night of dancing and drinking. Come to Little Creek with me, get away from the city, from all the memories and see how you feel."
"I have been wanting to get away."
"I'll make you dinner, and if you want to go home I'll drive you. Whatever you're comfortable with."
"Okay, what have I got lose?"
"And you get an authentic Italian meal cooked by a real Italian."
"It's been a long time since I've gotten that. Should I bring my go bag?"
"You're welcome to stay the weekend so long as you're comfortable."
She got her bag, as well as her purse before they left. He drove to the cabin. When they got there he began to make dinner for them. He had taken out a bottle of wine, but neither of them touched it. Rossi was glad to see her smiling again. The whole time they talked about various places she had lived, and his book tours, never talking about work or anything that could upset her.
"Did you bring your swim suit?" Rossi asked over a dessert of tiramisu.
"I think there's one in my bag, why?"
"I have a hot tub in the back, and there's a full moon tonight, if you'd like to join me."
"That sounds great, I'll get changed and I'll meet you outside."
Prentiss went into the bathroom and changed into her bathing suit. It was a simple blue halter style tankini. She went outside and smiled when she saw him already in the hot tub. She carefully got in as well. The two of them began talking again, but this time they started to talk about their past boyfriends and lovers.
"Have you ever been with a woman in here?" Prentiss asked him.
"I don't have women here often, Emily," he told her. "I have had sex in a hot tub before, just not this one."
She moved closer to him. "I haven't. It's always been a fantasy of mine."
She then covered his lips with her. He froze the second she touched him, unable to believe she was really doing this. She moved so that she was in his lap. He could feel her legs moving under the water trying to wrap her legs around his hips. He couldn't help his natural response to having a beautiful woman so close to him.
"Emily, I don't think this is a good idea," he told her.
"Dave, just tonight, help me escape," she whispered.
"Tonight has been amazing. You're my friend, and I need this. Sex doesn't have to change everything."
He didn't reply to her reasoning, he just kissed her softly. Prentiss practically purred with delight at his response. It had been so long since she had felt alive. She could feel the goosebumps forming as if the whole night was happening again.
She snapped back to reality when he cleared his throat. She wanted to go back to her day dream but instead she made eye contact with him. Part of her had wanted her baby to be Rossi's it would have been easier that way, but she knew that it wasn't possible. She instinctively put her hand around her belly, which hadn't started to show signs of her pregnancy yet. Rossi's eyes dropped, but he moved his hand toward hers.
"I'm fourteen weeks along," she told him. "It has to be his."
"All right," he sighed, going to squeeze hand, but she pulled away.
"Dave we agreed that it was a one time thing between us. That night was amazing but it's not fair to you to have to wonder if I'm thinking about him."
"You're allowed to think about him. You loved him, and you'll never forget him. We both have our ghosts."
There were tears starting to fall down her cheeks again. "I can't ask you to do that, Dave. It's not fair to you."
"What if I want to?"
"You'll have to leave the job again if you do that. You know that Dave. That's one of the reasons we decided that we couldn't move forward. You can't do that."
"I know what it means, but everything's different now."
"Dave I just don't know if I can-"
He put his index finger on her lips to silence her. "I want to take care of you, both of you. I don't want you to be alone through this. This is the choice I want to make, I love you."
"Dave, please, don't say that, I can't. I know your past," she whispered.
She wanted to tell him that she didn't need to be taken care of. She was a strong and independent woman who never thought she needed a man. But the second he offered to take care of her she began to relax a little. Her mind stopped asking a million questions for a moment and she began to wonder how bad it would be to be taken care of. She wanted to not have to worry about how the baby would be taken care of.
"I know my past," he reassured her. "But I also know you are the only woman I have ever considering taking this step with, and in this case I know your baby isn't mine, and I still want to do this. He'd want this too."
"There will always be a part of me will want him," she whispered.
"I know, and I can live with that. I'm not asking you to have your child call me dad, yet. I'm just asking you to let me help you. We can tell the people closest to us the truth, but for people who don't need to know we can tell them it was our choice."
She shook her head, confused. "You really do love me?"
He ran his hand along her cheek. "I do, Tesoro. I know I love you and I will accept any way you'll allow me in your life.'
"Dave I don't know what to say."
"Don't say anything yet. Please stay here and think about it. Let me show you what I can offer you other than an escape and release."
"Okay, Dave I'm still not sure how I feel?"
"It's all right to not know what you feel right now, I'm asking a lot of you. Right now, can you just tell me if you want to stay here?"
"I want to hide out here until you get sick of me."
"You're more than welcome to hide from the world as long as you need to," he assured her.
"Thank you, I find it so relaxing here."
"That's what I like about being here. I'll show you to the spare room, the sheets are clean."
"How did you know someone would be here?"
"I hoped you would let me bring you here after I found you. I hoped you would want to get away from the city and would allow me to help you
"You're a good friend Dave."
"I hope you let me be more when you're ready."
"I'm not sure I'll ever be."
She stood up slowly and followed him into a bedroom. It was decorated in shades of blue, it had a rustic feel to it like whole cabin but there was something softer about this room. She realised there was a private bathroom attached to the room. At the end of the bed was the go bag she kept under her desk. He closed the door and she went through the bag.
She took out an old button down t-shirt, pulling it on after she had stripped out of her own clothes. It no longer smelled like him but she found it comforting. Since he had been killed she always slept in one of his old shirts. She climbed into the bed which she was surprisingly comfortable. She pulled the covers around herself, and then took a pillow and pulled it close. Tears started to fall down her cheeks. She ended up crying herself to sleep her mind racing with thoughts about the future as well as the past.
She got up and realised it was dark out. She exited the room, and looked around the cabin not seeing him. Pulling a robe he had left in the bathroom in her room around herself. She noticed his bedroom door was open. She went into the room and climbed into the bed. She had been in the room before, it was decorated in dark shades of green, and she noticed the bed was much higher. She curled up to him, tears still falling down her cheeks.
Rossi woke up when felt the movement on his bed, as well as her tears falling onto his skin. It took him a moment to realise that it was Prentiss who was wrapping her arm around his bare chest. He liked to sleep in a pair of sweatpants, but was glad for the human contact, whatever the reason. He moved in his bed so he could face her. She stared at him for a moment and he pulled her as close to him as he could.
"I still love him, I always will Dave," she whispered.
"I know," he assured her. "I've accepted that."
"But I don't want to be alone. I can't do this without someone else."
She kissed him softly. As soon as he tasted her he deepened the kiss. His hand pulled her closer to him. He went to brush his lips against hers but found her cheek instead. When he touched it he could feel the moisture and taste the salt from her tears. He kissed the other cheek softly wishing that he could kiss away her pain. He knew this choice must be hard for her, having only just noticed who's shirt she was wearing. He gently brushed a piece of her long brown hair from her face.
"Dave, are you okay with only have a part of my heart?" she asked.
"I'll take whatever part you can give," he assured her.
"You'll treat her as if she's your own?"
"I promise you Emily. I wouldn't offer if I couldn't give your child that."
"It's not going to be easy if she's like her father."
"I know, but we can do what we have to if it comes to that."
"He would have been so focused on this. He would have been a great father."
"I'll try to be as well." He wiped her tears. "I love you both."
"I – I'm not ready to-"
He kissed her softly. "That's all right."
As soon as she felt his lips against hers she practically devoured him in the embrace. Her hands began to explore his body. He let his hand slide up her back and she let out a tiny gasp. He growled which encouraged her to move her hands to his hips, and pull at his pants. Rossi moaned but pulled away from her. She desperately tried to find his lips again.
"Emily," he panted.
"Dave," she growled, trying to pull him toward her.
Prentiss' actions were desperate and greedy. She was running her fingers up and down his chest and back; her nails occasionally scratching him. The kisses she was sharing with him were getting more desperate and frantic. Rossi remembered their first time together as being a little rushed, but it didn't feel frenzied like this time. Something didn't feel right to him. He tried to tare himself away from her but she had him in a death grip.
He ran his finger through her hair. "Slow down."
"I need you," she begged fighting back her tears.
"I don't want it to be like this. I don't want to just be your escape. I don't want you to want this because you miss him."
She started to sob. "I'll always miss him. You can't do this to me."
"We can't move forward if you don't tell me the truth."
"I miss him."
"There is more to it than that, Emily," he told her.
Prentiss wasn't sure was ready to tell anyone what she had been feeling, but she knew she could trust Rossi. He had already laid his heart out on the line for her, and she knew that she could trust him with her own thoughts and feelings. She didn't want to start crying again, but she couldn't help it.
"I wake up screaming for him in the middle of night. I can't get the sight of him covered in blood out of my head. He wasn't supposed to die that day! He was just trying to help that little girl. He is supposed to be here with us, helping us. He's supposed to be here with me!"
"I know, Emily, I know. He was just doing his job. You shouldn't have had to see that."
She could feel Rossi's hand on her cheek but her mind drifted away to that day, she didn't want to think about everything she had seen. "There was so much blood Dave. He was just doing his job, it was supposed to be safe."
"We all thought it was or we never would have let him go in alone. We were five minutes out and that little girl needed him."
"I still do," she sobbed.
"I know, Tesoro, and I'll never replace but I'm here now."
"Dave," she sobbed into his chest.
She started to drift back to that day, even though she didn't want to. It had played over in her mind so many time and many parts of the day were still a blur, some if it never left her mind, and haunted her dreams. Before that day no one had known that she had been involved with him, although it had been six months. Both of them had expected the team of profilers they worked with to bust them right away, but somehow they had flown under the wire, until it was too late.
Prentiss went into the house, surprised that he wasn't outside with the little girl already. Rossi was right behind her, but nothing would prepare her for what she was about to see. She went inside the tiny house. She saw the little girl, and for a moment she thought the child was safe, until she noticed the four year old wasn't moving. She then saw the image that would haunt her for the rest of her life; a pool of blood that surrounded the man she loved.
Without even thinking she leaned down and tried to find a pulse. She wanted to try revive him but all she found was more blood. She screamed, and started to sob.
"NO!" she yelled at the corpse. "No! No! No! No! You're not allowed to be dead! You're not allowed to die on me! You promised- you promised! You said you'd be careful. You promised I'd never see you like this! Dammit when I told you I loved you promised you wouldn't do this to me!"
She hadn't cared that the whole team was hearing her. They had been keeping their relationship a secret for what felt like an eternity, and it didn't matter anymore. Neither of them would be transferred from the team he was gone. Getting a transfer all seemed so trivial now. She would give anything to go back in time and leave the job she loved if it meant not losing him. The next thing she remembered was being helped into the back of one of the SUVs to be brought back to hotel and having another black out when she realised that the night before in that room was the last time she would ever be with him.
She came back to reality, shuddering as she did. She was glad to not be alone. She felt safe in Rossi's arms, but a part of her worried she might lose him as well. She was still crying and wondered if she would ever stop. She felt relieved to have someone comforting her, just rubbing her back, and assuring her that it was all right to break down. Rossi never once told her that she would be better or all right when it was all done; he always allowed her to feel what she was feeling. That's why her feelings toward him were growing.
"Let it all out," he reassured her.
"I – I still love him," she whispered after what felt like hours of crying.
"I know Emily. It's okay."
Tears were streaming down her cheeks. "How can I love you both?"
"Because I am offering you the future while accepting your past, do you want that?"
"Yes. I want her to know who he was."
"We'll make the baby knows everything about him."
"What about work?"
"I'll step down, unless you want to stay home and take care of the baby."
"I'm not sure I could be a stay at home mom."
"Then it's settled, I'll retire – again, and I'll write while the baby is sleeping."
"You really want that?"
"For you," he reassured her. "Yes."
Notes: That's the end. I like it that way. I never actually named the mystery "he" because it was just too hard, and I couldn't decide who to oft, and an OC would have been a cop-out. So let your imagination decide. If you know me you know where my brain was *sniffle* I tried something new. Please tell me if it worked. I left it like that cause it was the only way to make it happyish. Thank you in advance for any feedback. HUGZ -trista