I noticed that there were few Animal Farm stories, so what I'm going to do is to create funny chapters on 10 ways of how to annoy the animals on Animal Farm. First up is the totalitarian bastard pig...Napoleon!

Disclaimer: I don't own any animal or human on Animal Farm. I'm borrowing them from George Orwell for humorous reasons.


Top Ten Ways To Annoy Animal Farm Creatures


1. When he sits down at the table, remove his chair from beneath him and watch him spin on the floor and squeal.

2. ...then play the song "You Spin Me Right Round" when Squealer sees Napoleon.

3. Feed him pork. When he asks what it's called, say that it's "Pig's Dinner." When he asks what it's made of, whisper what it is. Then videotape him puking.

4. Keep shouting "Snowball's here on the farm! He's under the table!" When he looks under and sees nothing, say, "Boy, are you stupid!"

5. Retrain his dogs to attack Napoleon by bribing them with Kibbles 'N' Bits.

6. Mock his talking when he gives a speech. Then stand next to him and keep saying "Oink" into his ear over and over. Then he'll yell "SHUT UP!" really loudly.

7. Take away his whiskey and force him to go on a diet of moldy bread and water.

8. Take his clothes off during a meeting with the other pigs and humans. Then shout "Four legs good! Two legs LAME!"

9. Make up FanFics about NapoleonXSquealer romance.

10. Butcher his favorite sow!


There! I wrote my first ever Animal Farm FanFic and I hope it's good!

You know what to do. Review! And you'll receive virtual milk and apples. Virtual milk and apples to everyone!

See ya next time!