Lost then Found
By The Smut Sisters : Lady Sirona
Rated NC17 [Buffy/Angel] M/F consensual sex, oral sex, blood play
Spoilers: First and Second Season , third season up to Hope, Fath and Trick
Summary: Angel returns from hell as seen in HFT, and Buffy finds him in the woods confused, disorented, amnesiac and nude...
Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer do not belong to me. They are the property of Joss Whedon and the WB. I am using them purely for my own and everyone else's amusement. This is my own smut world where AIDS doesn't exist, If you do this at home use precautions!

"I need you Buffy. I don't know how or why, but I need you, and I want you now!" He growls his need into her ear as he feels her body against his... his response it total and as completely expected. Her skin is soft, and her scent fills his nostrils calling him to her.

"We Can't!" She cries and tears herself away... "you lost your soul when we made
love...we can't do it again!"

He stared at her in shock. To be this close and never touch her again? To love her with all his soul and never feel her thrusting against him in passion? "You don't feel the same way about me as you did?" He starts to pull away. Her obvious horror of him is plain to see. He had misunderstood her; about the way she thought about him... it is probably a misplaced concern for past beau. "I understand... you have moved onto the living..." His voice is low...and totally devastated... what a fool he was!

"Oh No... You misunderstand me...I died that day I sent you to hell" she told him softly. "My heart died" She sobbed. "I wanted to just take your hand and go with you..." tears streamed down her face as she remembered the look in his eyes as he was sucked into hell. "I couldn't stand what I had done... I love you more than life itself..."

"You didn't have choice... you had to do it. I know enough to know you had no choice if you did it. I am glad you didn't take my hand... you wouldn't have wanted to go there..." He starts to curl in a ball as the memories of hell and the horrors visited upon him there begin to come to him... She watches him lose himself in memories of hell; she comes to him and holds him, rocking him as he cries. Big racking sobs come from him. Time crawls as he relives the horrors, beyond where she can calm them.

He finally calms and lays quiet in her embrace. He doesn't know what to expect, and
flinches when she moves. She soothes his brow. The horrors he went through she knew were far beyond her understanding. She couldn't stand the thought that he thought she hated him. She croons to him in a soft voice like a mother to her frightened child and he just holds on to her like she was a rock in the sea in the midst of a storm.

She was unaware how long they lay like that when the phone rings. He startles at the noise and flinches. She calms him with a touch, and reaches for the phone. "Yeah What?" She snarls. She doesn't want any interruptions now!

"Buffy it is me Willow. When I cursed Angel, it wasn't the original curse. It won't break again! Bye" Buffy stared at the phone as if it was a strange item with the dial tone. Won't break? WONT BREAK! Oh My GOD! She starts to laugh, it has a touch of hysteria in it and Angel raises his head and looks at her in confusion. He is starting to worry about her as she clicks the hang up button and drops the phone to the floor.

"Buffy?" He asks as she starts to pull at her clothes. He watches in amazement as she strips off her shirt, dropping it on the floor, and then tears off her bra and drops it also... she pulls down her pants with her under wear, and in a moment stands before him in all her glory. His mouth is open, he is shocked...eyes wide "I thought you said we couldn't..."

She comes willingly into his embrace, sliding her body along his, feeling his erection against her, and moans into his mouth " Willow...curse... no loophole..." as she plundered his mouth with her tongue. He loses himself in her kiss, until the meaning of the statement sinks in...

He looks at her surprised. "I won't lose my soul if we make love?" She shakes her head 'no' and rubs up against him in obvious invitation. She feels his erection on her abdomen, as he rubs against her with tiny thrusts. Her hand strokes his chest, and he purrs in contentment, deep in his chest. She giggles at the sound. "Oh how I have missed that sound!" He looks at her confused. "I love it, that when I touch you... you purr" She smiles and kisses him again.

He runs his hands all over her body. "So warm..." he mumbles into her skin as he kisses and licks whatever his mouth can reach. "I like it when you touch me" She tells him as he tries to get closer.

"Please Buffy... I need..." He holds her tight, afraid to even ask; afraid to hope what he feels she is offering is real. "I need you so much. You are my life" He moans as she hungrily kisses him. "I am right here... Forever" She slides into his embrace rubbing her hips against his hard erection as he moans deep in his throat... Smiling she pushes him back until he is sprawled across her bed, erection in the air beckoning her attention...

She moans in desire and slides along his erection which with a tilt of the hip instantly finds itself deep in her core. She winces as his thrust opens her up again...and then he finds the rhythm with her and she is riding him. He lays back and watches her as she pleasures herself on his body in amazement... the fact she still wants him the fact she still loves him is beyond anything he can imagine.

He looks down and watches as he slides in and out of her moist core... juices glistening on his rod which she then thrusts back into herself with a moan of pleasure... she is building in her passion and it is flushing her skin... he senses her heart beat increase and the flow of blood through the vessels of her body... she is so close to her climax...

With a quick flip he has her on her back and is thrusting into her claiming her as his... just as it should be. He stokes her fires and feels her tightness as she begins to come from his attentions... She grits her teeth in her pleasure and moans in his ear "Oh God Now!" and turns her head showing the maximum trust a Slayer can have with her vampire lover... her neck... He transforms and sinks his fangs into her necks and together they tumble into glory...

Buffy awoke with her body snuggled into Angel's... her dream of making love to Angel, which had been with her from her seventeenth birthday, came sharply into reality... he was nude, in her arms, and wrapped around her body! His cold skin a counter point to her warmth... his silent breast with no heart beat or breath a silent opposite to her rapid heartbeat and her excited breath.

Joy sang through every muscle and fiber of her being. It wasn't just a dream to disappear into the dawn with her awakening... he had actually been in her bed, inside of her, making love to her... She felt her core moisten with just the thought of him being real...

She couldn't help herself; she reached out and stroked his face gently. His face was calm in sleep, yet he turned into her hand seeking her touch even in his sleep. She smiled... he did so remind her of a big dangerous wild cat when he moved in those ways... right down to his purr... He opened his eyes and looked at her... his eyes were slow and groggy... he is used to sleeping in the day, and she can't seem to keep her hands off of him... she can't let him rest, terrified he will run away or disappear. "I love you Angel" She tells him gently as he kisses the palm of her hand... "I love you too Buffy" he licks her palm...

"He looks at her and he sees the sorrow etched into her eyes. The fact he was the source of such guilt and pain was more than he could bear... "I love you Buffy... I know you did what you had to do in the time frame allowed.. I hold not animosity against you for sending me to hell... you had no choice...I don't understand how you got Angelus down to such a degree..."

Buffy laughed a sharp nervous laugh. "I had Spikes help. He wanted to leave with
Drusilla and I traded his assistance for the right for him to save Drusilla. He attacked you and he did it for Dru" Angel grimaced... "I would prefer to forget Dru" His memory of Angelus and the things he did to and with Drusilla after losing his soul turned his stomach... Buffy turned away and mumbled under her breath "no kidding"

He looked at Buffy and just knew Angelus flaunted his relationship with Drusilla to her to hurt her... "I want you Buffy and only you. Drusilla was Angelus' obsession.
Personally she drives me crazy. I love you, and Angelus was obsessed with Dru, it was an ugly relationship they had." He reached out and gathered her in his arms... She snuggled in and sighed..."Yeah- well- he threw it in my face every chance he got" She whispered to him very quietly. Angel wished he could ease here pain. "That ugly relationship is why Spike hates him" All she did was nod.

"Can I use the shower?" he asked hopefully.. "I reek of hellfire and brimstone... I need to get this smell of brimstone off me... I can't believe you put me in your bed smelling like this... never mind made love to me... I stink" She noticed he had a sly grin. "You'll never get the smell out of the sheets."

"Yeah I agree you stink... if I can't get the smell out of the sheets I will burn them" She tells him flippantly, like she would have ever said no to him being in her bed or her body because he smelled faintly of sulfur? Not likely she thought to herself.

Angel sat up and grabbed the table cloth, also smelling of brimstone and shuddered
thinking of the burning... the memories of being burned black in hell only to wait years for the wounds and scars to heal without the needed blood to do so... He goes paler than usual and Buffy becomes concerned. He shrugs off the memory and walks toward the door. She watches him "Are you OK?" She asks him lightly. He turns to her and his eyes are haunted. "Yeah I had a flashback... a memory... it will take awhile to get my act together" he opens his arms and she steps into his embrace. "I am back now baby... now all we need is time"

She feels in his hug the unspoken hunger he has for her touch. "It's OK, I'll take care of you" She smiles at him carefully. "I know" He pulls her toward the door, she breaks free and runs and looks out the door and then waves him on. "Come on the hallway is clear..."

"I want a shower so bad... I want to be clean when I make love to you again" he tells her softly with a sly smile... She can tell in his hesitant smile and wistful voice that for some reason he feels she will say no? Not likely! She smiles at him hoping to put him at ease..."We both will smell better"

Angel pads down the hall in his bare feet following Buffy to the shower. It feels weird to be in her house, in the daylight, and running around nude wrapped in a table cloth just made it weirder... "You always smell good" he mumbles to himself about her comment of smelling better. She turns to him with a blinding smile and takes a deep inhalation. "I smell like sulfur now...Yuk" Angel laughs low in his voice 'I got used to it over all those years..."

Buffy turns to him as they enter the bathroom... suddenly shy. "Years?" He reaches
beyond her and turns on the he shower. "Time moves differently in the demon
dimension... I figured it out there is about 285 months to every month on our plane of
existing... at least where I was... I was therefore about 260 years... If I had been human I would have died there in a matter of days probably" She stepped into the shower with almost a palpable hunger for cleanliness... "I thought everything would be dead and gone when I came back" Buffy stared at him in shock remembering when she went into Hell Angel had been there? Could she have saved him then?

Buffy drops her robe on the floor and enters the shower with him... he has the water hot... as if to purify himself... he turns to her frank appreciation in his eyes..."I don't know what brought me back but I am so thankful" he hugs he tightly as the water rushes over their skin. He can smell their scent of sex on her skin mixed with the hint of brimstone from her sleeping with him. "Oh God Buffy you are so beautiful!" He strokes her face and kisses her lightly and gently with love and passion, and she kisses him back.

"I love you baby but I *need* to get clean, I don't want to be distracted" he tells her as he pulls away obviously unwillingly but needing to cleanse himself. He turns to get the soap and scrubby and present her with his back and she sees the marks of a whip and the healing scars on his back. She stares in shock and then gently runs her hand over them to have him flinch as he stand in the shower. "Oh I am so sorry" she murmurs to his back as she hugs him gently. "Oh you feel so good... what are you sorry about now?" he is curious, not realizing she is seeing the remnants of the damage inflicted on him right before he came out of hell. "These" she says gently running her hand over the lash marks.

"Oh" he says softly realizing she is seeing his last whipping marks. "They'll heal... they always do" She moans and drops her head to his shoulder. he turns around and holds her gently. "Buffy it is OK. it is supposed to be miserable there... that is why they call it Hell..." he looks at her but she avoids his eyes... "Buffy look at me"

She looks at him with big tear filled eyes... "I know I was there too... and I was in hell here, because I was miserable here without you" She blurts out to him." She hurt so much knowing she sent him there for 260 years of literal Hell.

"What?" He asks incredulously. "What do you mean you were in Hell?" He stares at her
in shock. She realizes she has to confess to him... "I was there, I think..." She hugs him and shudders.. the thought he was that close and she left him for more years was more than she could bear.

"If you don't want to tell me... you don't have to" he slightly withdraws.. the thought of her in that hell was more than he could bear to face. She looks at him..." I went after some teenagers who were being taken to be slaves... just run of the mill slaying... I saved those I could and left... I never knew that was the hell you were in Oh God Angel I would have sought you out had I known!" tears flowed freely mixing with the shower water.

"YOU ran the escape where the portal was closed?" He thought back in time... "I thought I saw you... but I thought it was just another nightmare of you fighting the demons they has tortured me with for ages... I didn't know it was real...I thought it was my own nightmare that you had come into hell..." he drifted off lost in the memories of watching her battle the captors...

"Oh my god you were really there?" She asked her voice tight and her body taut. "Yeah" he realized belatedly she would now feel guilty about not saving him... "Buffy, I wasn't a very cooperative worker and spent a lot of time chained among other things" She was lost in thought *Oh my god I didn't know* then she processed his later comment... 'Among other things'. She looked at him suspiciously "What 'other things'?"

"I didn't know it was really you Buffy, or trust me I would have called to you... but I
thought you being in hell was just more of the nightmares where you come to save me and are killed and injured and tortured because you sought to save me... I stopped feeding into those tortures decades before you came." he hugged her and kissed her..."Let's just say they were quite punitive and leave it at that? I really don't want to relive my tortures of hell, even for you, OK?" She looked at him with her big eyes and he realized he could tell her to ease her mind without focusing on details... "Whipping was used, as you see, branding and burning was a favorite pastime for them along with molten metal and carving..." he held her tightly as she shuddered against him.

"But the nightmares of horrible things happening to you were the worst. I couldn't tell real from unreal with those nightmares" he holds her as the tears flow... his nightmares of her falling in battle, dying alone, bleeding broken and dismembered... "Shshshshs baby no more nightmares" she whispers into his ear as he holds her tightly.

"I hope not" he kisses her roughly to take the taste of fear out of his mouth. She holds him and kisses him "I will make them go away" she tells him gently. "You already have" he confesses to her hair. .