I do not own these characters. Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and character names. All plot lines, characterizations, details, etc. belong to Justagirl1238. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization from the author.

I did not have this chapter beta'd as I wanted to get it out to everyone today. However, DaniaMCullen has been my amazing beta! The brilliant AydenM my brilliant pre-reader. I hope to have their assistance again with the next chapter.


CHAPTER 17 – Heading Home


I feel her body moving in and out against mine, her warm breath tickling my face. In my groggy state, I wonder to myself if the past five months have been nothing more than a bad dream. My beautiful Bella is cuddled into my side as she has been for years and it feels natural…right.

My hand twitches slightly on her back and I feel her soft hair against my chin.

She is breathing heavier now, which pulls me further from sleep…At first I think she is having a nightmare.

I open my eyes and adjust, careful not to wake her, but enough so that I can see her face. She's still in the same position she was in when we went to sleep last night, nestled in the crook of my arm with her hand on my chest. Her forehead is scrunched up and her mouth is moving slightly. No words are coming out, but she is clearing speaking to someone. She doesn't appear distressed, so I assume it's a heated conversation but not a nightmare.

I smile as I watch her. I've missed having her near me. I had all but forgotten how sexy she is when she sleeps. How could I have forgotten that? I'm sure it was there somewhere, but I've been concentrating more on how I can move the fuck on or get her the fuck back, so some things have been protected by my subconscious, I suppose.

Her brow continues to scrunch and she moves her lips. I find myself mesmerized, wondering what is going on in her mind right now. So many questions I could answer if I could just spend five minutes in her thoughts.

I chuckle to myself…what I would give to be able to read this girls mind.

Bella feels my movement and her fingers retract and then stretch out again against my chest. I feel goose bumps as her fingers slide over my shirt, and a very light moan escapes me.

Okay…I know it is beyond fucking wrong, but along with the goose bumps I also feel my dick twitch. I begin to have an internal conversation with it, warning the bastard to stand down. This is no time to prepare for fucking battle.

Unfortunately, we are not on the same page.

I think of anything I can to try and correct the situation. I think about Em & Rose having sex…that freaky shit is normally enough to shrivel my balls like an ice bath, but not this time…it's been too long since I've held her.

I think about math equations, music compositions…hell, I even try thinking about my own parents having sex. Nothing is fucking working and every time her fingers move, I get harder and harder.

At this point, I realize my cock is on its own path and no negotiations on my part are going to prevent it from loading up and firing at will.

I attempt to move my arm out from underneath her. Very slowly, I scoot and nudge. She doesn't fucking move though, and the throbbing in my pants is like a drum in my ear.

I decide to be a little more forceful. With my free hand I gently nudge her arm, her stomach, poking her cheek and FUCK….

That just makes me harder, because she groans a little.

I'm just going to go for it, I tell myself. Trying not to jostle her too much, I push up with my shoulder, lifting her head up. I twist enough to gently place her back down on the pillow. Her hand is still on my chest, so I pick it up by her wrist and place it on her own chest. I scoot across to the other side, attempting not to stir the bed anymore than necessary.

My feet hit the floor and I sigh in relief.

I stand and make my way towards the bathroom.

I fucking did it.

Or so I thought….

"Edward?" Her tiny, sleepy voice calls from behind me. I immediately stop, but don't turn around. Eddie Jr. is like a heat seeking missile right now, bulging against my pants.

I turn just enough so I can look at her.

"Hey," I smile, "How are you sleepy head? Need more aspirin?"

She shakes her head. "No…just come and sit with me?"

Fucking hell.

"Um…let me run to the bathroom real quick. I'll be right back okay?"

She nods again, smiling.

I head into the bathroom and unzip my pants. My dick practically springs out at the sight of light and I sigh because it feels good to not be sandwiched into my pants.

I turn on the sink and lean against the wall by the shower. Without missing a beat, I take my dick in my hand and begin pumping. She's expecting me to come back out there…I can't drag this shit out.

I close my eyes and imagine Bella next to me, naked, wanting me…and my hand immediately moves faster. I have no lube or lotion and it's not sliding like it should, but I can't be nit picky right now…

With my free hand I reach for the shower curtain, pulling it open quietly. I keep my eyes closed as I continue to stroke like my life depends on it.

A grunt may have escaped…I can't be sure.

"Edward?" I hear from the other side of the bathroom door.


I'm throbbing like a finger slammed in a door at this point, leaning against the wall with the soldier aimed into the shower…and as stunned as I am that she is speaking, I'm too close to form a coherent thought.


"Are you alright?"

"Yeah…um, I'm good. I'll be right out."

"Okay," she says in a questioning tone. She fucking knows I'm in here knocking one out…there is no way she doesn't…and in a minute I need to walk out there and try not to look like that is exactly the case.

I'm almost there, I look down once just to make sure I am still pointing towards the shower and then close my eyes again. I imagine Bella riding me…those beautiful tits hovering over me.

"Bella?" I hear bellowing from further away.

Jesus fucking Christ…

"Rosalie?" Bella responds, "I'm back here…in Edward's room."

I hear movement, people walking down the hall…

"Hey babe!" Rosalie says as she enters the bedroom. "Where's Edward? Jerking off somewhere?"

Fuck my life.

I think she may have even snorted.

Bella responds. "No…Jesus, Rose," I can hear her sigh, "He's in the bathroom."

"Mmmhmmm," is Rose's response and I die a little.

I can't stop it though…

My thoughts cloud, surrounded by Bella, as my cum literally shoots across the shower and hits the interior wall. It feels like it goes on forever.

"Edward!" Rose says with urgency, "What is going on in there?"

Her tone stuns me and my eyes fly open, shooting to the door to make sure they haven't somehow opened it and are watching this embarrassing scene play out.


"Edward!" she hollers again and this time I hear Bella too.

"Edward! Are you okay?"

I almost answer when I see the reason for the urgency in their voices.

Of course.

Somewhere in my 'need for speed' masturbation session, I have missed that the sink behind me is overflowing and water is pouring onto the floor and out the door.

"Shit!" I call out to no one in particular and shove my cock back in my pants.

I'll clean up later…right now I need to do damage control.

"Fuck…" I mutter as I turn off the sink and start flinging towels all over the floor.

There is no way I can explain this.

"Edward, what is going on? Are you okay," I hear Bella practically yell.

"Lay down, Bella…I'm sure he's fine."

I sop up all the water and lift the soaking wet towels into the tub. They must weigh five pounds each. If the water didn't go into the apartment below, it will be a fucking miracle.

I take a moment to pull myself together. My cheeks are flush, not only from what I've just done, but from the embarrassment of it all.

With one big breath, I shake my shoulders and open the door.

"Hey," I try to say in a casual tone.

Of course it is Rose that decides to speak up first.

"Hey? Hey, Edward? What the fuck happened in there?" she says with another soaking wet towel in her own hands.

"Faucet stuck…it's all good," I respond, not looking at her or anyone else in the room. I go to my dresser and grab a new t-shirt since the one I'm wearing is now drenched.

Bella saves me.

"So, um…anyway…drama over. How was your night at Victoria's?"

"That is one cool bitch," Rose replies. "She has more porn than Emmett."

I sigh in relief. She has always been my life preserver.

The rest of the morning is pretty uneventful. I want to talk to Bella, but we just never seem to have a moment to really talk. Her leg seems to be bothering her more today and Rose and Alice tend to her while I am constantly shuffled to the side.

Finally I decide to get out of the apartment for a few minutes while they help Bella change her clothes. I do not need a repeat of this morning at the thought of her naked in my bedroom.

"I'm going down to the workout room," I holler down the hall. "Be back in a while, alright?"

It feels good to move my muscles. After a few minutes of warming up, I lay down on the bench. My feet planted firmly on the floor, I arch my back and lean back onto the bench, reaching up and gripping the bar. Normally I would have a spotter when I bench press, but there is very little weight on the bar so I stare up at the ceiling and begin.

I get lost in thought. All of the things that have happened over the past few months cloud my mind. I still cannot completely wrap my mind around what Tanya has done. It feels like it all happened to someone else.

I'm pulled out of thought when I hear movement. I glance to the side, expecting that someone else from the building is coming into the gym, but all I see is the door closing.

I put the weight bar back and just lay in place for a few minutes listening to my own breathing.

Knowing what we know now, Bella and I have a real shot of fixing this shit…finally finding our way back to each other.

I run a few miles on the treadmill and then decide that I've probably allowed them sufficient time to primp and pretty up my girl so I grab my water bottle and towel and make my way back to the apartment.

I have the same feeling I did last night, like someone is watching me. It's an eerie feeling. One that causes the hair on the back of my neck to stand on end….but as I look up and down the halls I see nothing out of the ordinary.

"Edward!" Alice sings as I make my way back into the apartment.

The girls are in the kitchen making what I assume is breakfast and Bella is lying on the couch smiling up at me.

"Hey pretty girl," I say and wink at her.

She blushes and as always, and my heart skips a beat.

"Want some food, Romeo?" Rose bellows.

"Yeah…let me take a quick shower. I'll be right out."

I let the warm water cascade down my body as I lean against the wall. I run through what I want to say to Bella as soon as we get a fucking minute alone.

Even though we know now how things came be to last spring, it doesn't change the fact that Tanya sucked my cock. It doesn't change the fact that Bella was devastated…and it doesn't change the fact that we have been apart for months. As much as I would like to believe Bella and I can just run, or hobble in her current condition, back into each others arms, I am not naïve. It won't be that easy.

"Edward!" Rosalie screams and I am lunged out of my daydream.

"Yeah?" I holler back, opening the shower curtain.

"Can you come out here please?"

I can hear the urgency in her tone and quickly turn off the shower and grab a towel.

I couldn't give a shit who is in the apartment at the moment, that tone in her voice tells me I don't have time to get dressed so I wrap the towel around my waist and go.

"What's the matter?"

I make my way down the hall and see Rose and Alice leaning over Bella.

"What the fuck happened? Bella are…"

"Edward, she's really warm," Alice says with concern, "Like…really warm."

I look at Bella, who appeared fine fifteen minutes ago and her face is red and blotchy.

"Baby…are you, are you okay, Bella?"

"I'm fine," she says in a low voice, "I…maybe I just need more rest?"

"Fuck that, we are getting you to the hospital, Bella. You don't look good."

"Oh my God, no," she says while rolling her eyes. "I am fine. I promise. It's just my body healing."

This goes on for the next twenty minutes. The girls give her ibuprofen and I fill up that cooler thing with ice and cold water, as she wraps the attachment around her leg. Her color starts to return to normal and eventually she falls asleep on the couch.

"We need to get her back to Forks, Edward. This trip was a bad idea…she shouldn't be running around yet."

"She hasn't exactly been fucking running, Rose. She's had the leg propped, just like she would have at home," I sigh, "But…yeah, you're right."

I spend the next half hour fighting quite loudly in the hallway with Rose about how I should be the one to drive Bella home. She finally concedes and we begin taking the girls things downstairs. They will follow us and maybe half way Bella will switch to Rose's car so they can have, as Rose calls it, "girl time."

I'm looking forward to it. A couple hours alone in a car with Bella will give us the chance we need to talk. I realize she's not in the best of health, so I'll keep it light. Just a warm up, if you will, to see where her head is at.

My arms are full when we reach the parking lot. How is it that three girls can travel for a couple days and require so much fucking shit?

"What the FUCK?" I yell, to nobody in particular, when we reach the car.

I look down and see the right front and rear tires of my car…completely flat.

"What the fuck?" I repeat for effect as I drop the backs and crouch down to inspect the front tire.

Obviously someone has slashed them. There is no way both went flat at once. I feel around the tire, but can't find a puncture hole. Standing, I walk around the car…inspecting. It doesn't appear they did any other damage. There are no scratches on the car, thank fuck, and none of the windows are broken. I look around and note that no other cars seem to have damage.

Maybe they really did just go flat? It would be one huge ass fucking coincidence, but I can't think of another explanation. I am just being paranoid.

"It's going to take me hours to sort this shit," I sigh.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Bella shift. Looking up, I catch the grimace as she straightens and then she winks at me and smiles. She's always such a fucking martyr.

"Bella, you need to sit down. Rose, go help her into your car."

"Edw…." She starts to say, but I cut her off.

"No, Bella. Do not say you are fine, alright? In the car…now."

She sighs dramatically but follows my instructions and gets in the car, with the help of Rosalie on one side and Alice on the other.

Moments later Bella and I are locked in a heated conversation as the girls stand back trying to pretend like they are not listening.

"Bella, seriously. If you won't go to the ER, you need to get back to Forks. You need to have your leg checked out and make sure everything's still okay. You need to get into your bed, prop it and rest. I will…"

"Edward, I'm fine. You are overreacting. The ibuprofen helped so much. I feel a lot better."

"Please? For me? Go with the girls. Humor me. I'll get the tires fixed and be right behind you. I need to talk to my dad, your dad, about all this Tanya bullshit. I need you to feel better, Bella…so you can be there with me."

She smiles softly and takes my hand, holding it tight.

"Okay. I will go get some rest," she says with a very Bella-like eye roll, "but you will be right behind us. Promise me."

"I'll be right behind you. Promise."

Leaning into the car I kiss her forehead, lingering for a moment, taking in her lavender scent.

I watch the car as it pulls out of the parking lot. I immediately feel that tug…the one I always feel when she is away from me.

It takes me half an hour of phone calls to find a garage that's open today, but I finally do. I'm informed that since they are so busy it will be about an hour before they can come over. I call and speak with Alice at once point. Bella is sleeping in the backseat, which is good. She has to be feeling better if she's able to get comfortable enough to sleep. I pack a bag, eat some Coco Puffs and settle on my couch waiting.

I get lost in some stupid documentary about an Indian tribe. Apparently, they have a legend about their elders turning into wolves hundreds of years ago to provide protection to the tribe. I'm all for protecting your shit…but this is just ridiculous. Or is it, I think to myself. I've crossed paths with lots of fucking wolves these past few months. The only difference is these sneaky fuckers aren't on all fours. They walk amongst us every day in the form of crazy ass bitches who drug you…or assholes that try to steal your girl.

Yeah…maybe this tribe knows what the fuck they're talking about.

I'm startled from sleep by a buzzing noise. I practically fall on the floor scrambling my way to the intercom.


"Cullen? We're here to fix your tires?"

"Oh…yeah. Um, give me just a minute. I'll be right down."

Watching these two idiots work on my car reminds me of a Three Stooges episode. It takes them a good fifteen minutes just to get the fucking jack in place. I cringe as they start pumping it. I can just feel the frame of my car cracking…but much to my surprise, they eventually get the tire off without causing damage. I offered to help a couple times but was informed that for insurance purposes that was not allowed. Whatever, dumb fucks.

An hour and twelve minutes later, I make a mental note to never call these tools if I am broken down on the side of the highway.

"We about finished here guys?" I ask in a hopeful, but sarcastic tone.

"Yep," one says with a proud grin, "You're good as new, Mr. Cullen."

I pay them and head back up to the apartment to grab my shit. This has taken way longer than I expected and I need to get my ass on the road.

I run into Victoria on my way back downstairs and she fills me in on the slumber party with Rose and Alice. I laugh as she tells me how impressed Rose was with her porn collection, and I cringe when she informs me that Rosalie told her about Emmett's fantasy of a threesome and how she might give her a call sometime.

Only fucking Rose.

I throw my bag in the car and place two bottles of water in the cup holders. My plan is to drive as far as I can without having to stop until I need gas. I promised my Bella that I would be right behind her.

My Bella.

Before pulling out of the lot I grab my phone to let them know I'm on my way. They should be just about to Forks by now.

"This is Rosalie….give it to me after the beep."


"You've reached Alice. I can't take your call right now, but please leave me a message and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a great day!"


"Hi, this is Bella. Sorry I missed your call. Leave me a message!"


I drive for a couple hours, chuckling a little when I pass the infamous rest top where Bella injured herself. Only my clumsy girl would end up in such an insane situation.

I keep trying the girls' cell phones, but no answers.

I stop for gas at one point, grabbing some previsions for the rest of the drive. Cranking the radio, I get lost in thought. The conversations I will need to have with my parents, Bella's father and anyone else they throw me in front of are really going to suck. I mean, who wants to discuss drug induced blow jobs with the father of the girl you plan to marry one day?

That thought makes me smile though. I spend the next while imagining a day where Bella and I have graduated from college and are off on our honeymoon somewhere. Yeah…these are chick fantasies. Fucking sue me. The thought of Bella on a beach somewhere in her little bikini makes it a guy fantasy, right?

"Hey Charlie…its Edward. I'm just making sure that Rose and Alice got Bella all settled in. I'm about an hour outside of Forks now."


I roll my eyes. Fuck, I realize Bella and I aren't exactly a couple right now, but I'm pretty sure I'm not that fucking easy to forget.

"Yes sir. Edward Cullen. Is Bella feeling better? I told her she needed to prop her leg as soon as she got…"

"Hold on a second, son. What are you talking about? Bella isn't here. She went to see you?"

What the fuck? They have to be home by now. Did they go to Rose's instead? Alice's? Why would she do that? She needs to be in her fucking house resting, not having a slumber party with her friends.

"They headed back to Forks, sir," I say in a casual tone. There is no reason to piss her father off too. He'll be so angry with her for not coming straight home in her condition. "I'm sure they just stopped a million times for snacks. You know how they are," I chuckle.

"Oh…well, okay then. I'll uh…I'll tell her you called when they get here."

"Thank you, sir. Goodbye."

I continue down the road, redialing each of their phone numbers no short of a thousand times before I finally pass the "Welcome to Forks" sign. I've spoken with Emmett and Jasper, had them swing by Rose and Alice's houses. Nothing. I haven't called Charlie back again for several reasons. Number one, I don't want to worry him if they are still fucking around somewhere. Number two; I don't want to be a pain in the ass before I even get him to let me pass through his front door again. And number three….I don't want confirmation that she is not there yet. I don't want to admit that there is a lump building in my throat. The one that tells me something is not right.

I call Emmett and Jasper once more as I pull into town. I've had them practically staking out Rose and Alice's houses for about two hours.


"No, man. They're not here yet," Emmett says with concern in his voice this time. "Where the fuck are they?"

"I'm going to swing by Bella's house. I'm sure they are there by now. You know them, they probably got sidetracked somehow. Fucking women…." I chuckle, but I'm sure it's not very convincing. "Call Jasper and just meet me there."

I pull around the corner to the Swan house and start to panic now. Rose's car is not in the driveway.

Don't worry, I tell myself. It's not like they are in the ditch somewhere. I would have passed them as I drove.

I park in the driveway and am just getting out when Emmett and Jasper's cars pull in along the curb. I motion to them to just stay put for a moment. No sense in all of us barreling up to the door and scaring the shit out of Charlie.

She's here, I tell myself as I make the walk up to the door. They've dropped her off and are on their way home now.

This is the most familiar walk in the world. I've been doing it for more years than I can imagine. I look to the bushes where I first kissed my fragile little girl. I look to the window upstairs that I climbed through at least five hundred times.

"Edward," Charlie says with a smile as he opens the door. "Welcome home. Settling in alright up there in the big city?"

I smile and relax a little.

"Yes sir. It's taking some getting used to, but Em and Jazz will be there soon so…." I shuffle a little, my hands in my pockets. "Would it be okay if I see Bella real quick before I head home?"

He looks at me, puzzled…and I fucking know the words before he says them.

"Edward….Bella's not home yet. What's going on?" he responds with more concern in his voice now.


Where is she?


First, I owe everyone who has read my story a huge apology. I know you probably thought I wasn't going to finish it, but as I promised before - even if there is only one reader left, I WILL finish it. I understand any anger, believe me. I remember getting so upset when I would invest my time and heart in a story and it suddenly died. This has been a really crazy year for me in more ways than I can explain. However, The Best Part of Me and all of my twitter friends and readers have been in my thoughts.

I did go back and start re-reading the story about a month ago and see things that I would like to change. Mainly grammatically, but I decided to wait. Once I post it all, I will go back and change those things to satisfy my OCD. You all have waited so patiently that it seems silly to do it now. You'd rather have the rest of the story, right?

I haven't read much fanfiction in so long that I do not have recommendations this time. But as my life is finally starting to even out again, I plan to start reading again soon.

Much love to my girls that have continued to send me texts, tweets, IMs, emails over this past year. You know who you are. You could have easily forgotten me in my absence, but remained true friends, checking in on me as you were able. I can't wait to start swinging the pole with you again on a regular basis.

Happy holidays to all of you.