The "Big Mutant On Campus" Series
By David D. Amaya

Part five"The Tale of the Ghetto Butterfly"
Chapter 1

Disclaimer: As always; the first step of the journey.

{EmWiz}So what did you guys end up doing?

{PwrPlnt}Well, Me and Jubes finally got to tell the story of the First Mutant's **Escape From DWEEB-vill! (The ~Directors Cut~ edition ;)

"…So that's when Special Agent Dude walks in on us and goes 'WHAT THE HELL! GET HELP!' then he pushes me and K'Watt out the door and Slam-o! Doors close on him!" Jubilee relays to the other eight Gen-X students assembled in Jay's room. "That's when he begins to panic."

"I didn't panic," Cyrus replied. "I was concerned. I mean he just saved my life, ya know?"

"Concerned in a panicky-type manor, then! Now you guys know the failsafe of Wolfmister's programs? Well, 'Watt starts thinking 'Oh crap! Secret Agent Dude's, like, toast!'"

"When did THAT happen, Jubes?"

"Remember, you were still suffering the after-effects of all that smack in your system. Go ask Hank, it's, like, a scientifical fact! So, we make a dash for Fearless Leader!-That's Cyclops to you guys," She translates for the benefit of the other new students. "We get back, Scott overrides the door and it opens in time for all of us to see him KO the last CGI-scumbag. I call time and WAMM-O! Record-breaking on his first attempt!"

Almost every member of the X-Teams has used Wolverine's bar-brawl program as a sort of measure when in residence with the X-Men, so this impressed them, even Monet, to a degree.

"Hijolé!" Exclaimed Angelo. "Treinta and the jura didn't even use his cueté?"

"I ponder to think Mr. Logan's initial reaction," Monet asked aloud. "when he found out his time was vanquished by a federal agent?"

"'Not bad, G-Man. For beginner's luck.'"

"Yea, that's something Wolvie wouldda grunted!"

Looking over her shoulder, Jubilee and the rest of the students failed to notice Special Agent Nichols entered the room, carrying a tray with a large bowl of popcorn, a pitcher of Kool-Aid, and several drink tumblers.

"Are you two telling more stories?"

"Creative Writing assignment, my eye, Charlie! Maybe I should have sent them to clean the Biosphere! They got Jubilee and Cyrus to talk! Not that it took much in the way of coercion, you understand."

"So what did you do, Lariat?"

"Suffer through the casting call!"

"Well, Special Agent Dude, I gots to bring my peeps up to date!"

"And the rest of the new guys need to know why I'm not stuck in DWEEBvill with Andi, Lariat. And since you were a part of both stories…"

"We might as well tell 'em everything!"

"Besides, Lariat that story would have made a great movie!"

"Yea, Secret Agent Dude!" Jubilee exclaimed. "We could get Brian Singer to direct. I loved The Usual Suspects! We could get Aragorn to play you! Harry Potter to do 'Watt! Captain Picard can be the prof! Hally Berry can be Storm!"

"Hally Berry?" Angelo questioned. "She's one fine-ass hyna and all that. But I think she looks more like Angela Basset to me."

"Naw, Hally's got an Oscar. Gots to stack the deck if ya want this chick flick to get an Academy nomination!"


"Oh, I'd get that hot chick from Hawaii Five-O to be me!"

"What do you want? They're teenagers, Lariat. Besides, I think she's right, Hally Berry's a better choice for Ms. Ororo."


"Oh, me? I'd get Kenny Rogers to play me, I loved those Gambler movies. And besides I'd get to be on the soundtrack CD."


"Lighten up, Kordel! You're just upset you're not being played by Orlando Bloom."

"Well if that is the way this conversation is headed, I would pick Hugh Jackman. He was outstanding in Australia."

"Naw, he would make a better Wolverine. Just needs the sideburns, though. So did you ever get to Executive Order 84220?"

"Well, after Jonothon convinced Alea and Paige that Johnny Depp would make a better choice for Gambit than that alcoholic full-back from Friday Night Lights…"

"Okay, Jono, but I still think that Ron Weasly would be a better choice to play 'Watt, though."

"Thank you, Miss. Kaulalona. Now that the casting call is over we have something extremely important to discuss."

"Yea, like, location shots!"

Kordel just glared at Jubilee.

"Not a bad Moira MacTaggart. You ain't met her, but she'd like you."

"I was referring to Executive Order 84220."

"Executive Order 84220? What's that, Lariat?"

"It is what it is NOT, that you should be concerned with," Kordel replied. "As the both of you can guess, the story the Director told the President is different than the version you have been telling.

"EVERYTHING; how they extracted you from Sidwell, the racetrack, my involvement, BOTH rescues, your enrollment here. All that is classified information under Executive Authority as it considered a threat to National Security! That is how the White House has been avoiding those questions.

"And as you can imagine the 'facts' that are in it, are a work of PURE FICTION! You," He pointed to Jubilee. "Were never at the National Zoo! You," He pointed to Cyrus. "Did not get arrested by mall security! Wolverine did not steal a motorcycle to knock down my kitchen door! Oz never boarded the Helicarrier! I did not shoot Agent Martinez at the Convention Center! And Senator Crain did not commit suicide when SHIELD troops arrived to arrest him!

"To top it all off, it is safe to say there is absolutely no mention of the involvement of a certain group of mutant heroes in any part of that two hundred sixty-eight page document!"

Thunderous silence followed this revelation.

{EmWiz}I was never on-board the SHIELD Helicarrier! (^o^; Damn sure didn't look like the inside of the **Goodyear blimp** from the view in Sick Bay! But, I must admit that did get my skinny Asian-ass out of a BORING class review of the Jamestown Mission!

{PwrPlnt}GLAD TO ASSIST! Let me know if you forget to study for midterms, I'll see of Hydra wants to set up a coup attempt!

"Gerald Crain!" Alea exclaimed. "My daddy presented the colors to his great-granddaughter at his funeral at Arlington! We were there! HE WAS INVOLVED!"

"Do you now see my concerns?"

"Well, Secret Agent, dude, If all this stuff is classified, and none of this officially happened. Then we're just kicking around a script to shop around Hollywood! And if no one bites, we can always turn it into a mini-series for HBO!"

Almost everyone laughed. Clenching both his fists, though he doesn't know that he isn't the first X-Man to attempt to quell the urge to place his hands around her neck, he turned to leave the room before he embarrassed himself further.

"Remember NO ONE may enter the kitchen nor the Rec Room for the rest of the evening. Please leave the tray and its contents up here. Is that understood?" He then exited the room heading for his office.

"Should'a been there man! The jura who just a second ago was tougher than Wolverine with cojonazos the size of Dubz, got his ASS HANDED TO HIM BY A GIRL! It wasn't pretty, Ev!"

"So what did you guys do the rest of the night?"

"Well, by that time, the popcorn was cold and the punch was warm…"

"Pas de problème mes amis!" Stewart said as he walked up to the desk Agent Nichols left the tray and tapped the glass pitcher. Instantly the glass frosted over he then repeated the process with the stack of plastic tumblers. "Parfaire!"

"And I'll take care of the popcorn!" Alea said as she raised the metal bowl over her head heating it with her hands. The smell of warm popcorn quickly filled the room.

Brilliant! Jono remarked You blokes must be the life of the party.

"You're looking at the girl who can cook a Christmas ham in ten minutes!" Nathan replied as he poured himself a glassful and raising it to her and his cousin.

"Well, that was intense." Paige spoke up. "I didn't know there was so much involved for Cyrus to come to school here."

"Yea, chia. But did you vatos see the look he had when Jubes shot him down!"

"I would not refer to it as being 'shot down,' Angelo," Monet spoke up. "I believe Agent Nichols has been given an extreme amount of duties for only one federal officer. On top of that, he is attempting to balance those duties along with unique responsibilities of the secretive nature of our school and the degree of the X-Men's involvement in the situation."

"Don't forget to mention that the inmates here run this asylum!"

"Well whatever it is, we all have promises to keep," Paige added between bites of popcorn. "But our families know most of them."

"Paige, if First Mom ever finds out I know where the White House staff hides the Chocolate-Covered Sugar Bombs for me and Andi, heads will roll!" Cyrus exclaimed. "I mean it felt like a ton of bricks was off my neck when they said they knew I was a mutant, but can you imagine what could happen if they find out I know what aftershave Cyclops wears!"

"Well at least I don't feel bad about what I did in One-Time's room," Jay replied as he pored himself a glass.

The room became silent and all eyes were upon the room's occupant.

"Iakona. Mea aloha. What did you do?"

An evil grin formed as he rewound his thought back only a scant few minutes.

"There!" Jason said, completing the impromptu task. "Take that copper!" As he went for Kordel's door, he failed to notice a fallen fountain pen on the carpet. As he stepped on it, he slipped and hit his head against the wall, dislodging two of the framed objects. One of them hitting him on the head.

"Damn it! Who the fuck put this here!"

He placed the large frame on the desk, as he had to reach to straighten Kordel's hockey jersey. He then had to rehang a large framed document, once he turned it the right way around, he read it;

"Hear ye, Hear ye. Whereas, the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. An original American colony. Whereas, the Commonwealth, haven enter into the Union in 1776, Do herby acknowledge the heroism of Kordel Nichols. Whereas, Mr. Nichols, a life-long resident of the Commonwealth and the great City of Boston, Whereas, Mr. Nichols, an exemplary student-athlete attending the University of Boston- Shit this is boring!"

He then placed it in its spot on the wall, but took him several attempts to keep it straight, but succeeded before exiting the room.

{EmWiz}That was DUH-MM!

{PwrPlnt}Sounded like it wouldda been funny.

{EmWiz}Whadda mean _wouldda_?

Kordel returned to his office to change, when Sean knocked of the door.

"Just checking up on things, Lad. How's your eyesight, Kordel?"

"Improving, I only have one spot left in my right peripheral."

"That's good to hear. So, how are the chores coming along, Kordel?"

"I have already finished cleaning the Recreation Room," Kordel replied as he hung up his jacket. "I am almost finished in the kitchen when I learned that silk ties are allergic to dish soap."

"Tis a very noble thing of you to do, completing all the chores yourself, Lad. Don't get me wrong, these are an exceptionally great group of kids, but they may not have returned the favor."

"Not now, but they will in time," But I don't think I can live that long! Kordel completes to himself as he closed the closet door. "If they can not trust me, how are they going to respect me as their teacher. I learned the hard way that trust, much like respect, can only be EARNED, then must be KEPT, NEVER given out." He then went into the adjoining bedroom to change.

Sean recalled the tail end of his conversation with Emma yesterday. "As I said, Lad, very noble indeed." He then took in the way Kordel decorated the room. "I like what you did to your office, Kordel," he said as he examined the objects on the wall behind his desk. "The hockey jersey's a nice touch."

"Thank you, Sean!" He called out from the other room, deciding a pair of blue jeans would better suit a night of kitchen duty than Armani. "That was my senior year jersey; I had a hat trick against Michigan in our National Championship match and was named Most Outstanding Player of the tournament finals."

"Oh my, what's this?" Sean then noticed the large frame and read it aloud.

"Whereas, the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. An original American colony. Whereas, the Commonwealth, haven entered into the Union in 1776. Lad, when did you receive this?"

Reentering his office pulling an old Red Sox t-shirt over his head he looked at the object the Generation X Headmaster alluded to.

"HOW DARE THEY!" was his reply as he stormed out of the office and headed towards the boys dorms. Sean, not knowing what just set him off followed close behind.

In Jay's room there was a round of snickers. Cyrus even raised his glass at him for what he had done to in bodyguard's office.

"That's so mean of you, Jason!" Paige exclaimed. "How could you do such a thing?"

"I guess you already forgot about all those marshmallows, Hayseed." Jubilee remarked. "Well done, Padawan learner! It looks like the Force is strong with this one!" Then she began to breathe Vader-like.

Yea, Luv, this is just as harmless.

"Besides," Nathan added. "It's not like he's gonna storm in here pissed off when it goes down."

Just then, the door swung open and in barged Agent Nichols, very upset and looking as if he was forcing his rage to stop boiling by the way he was taking deep breaths.

"Students!" he said in an extremely harsh tone as Sean entered the room. "Someone was in my office a short time ago. Whatever the offender may have removed or possibly added, I want the situation rectified immediately. I shall be in the Biosphere for ten minutes. Whatever may have been misplaced will be returned or taken back at that time. Is that understood!" he then turned on his heels and exited to the stairs and down to the foyer. Sean rushing to catch to him.

"Kordel, what just happened?"

He stopped, took a deep breath and turned to face Sean.

"I need two favors, Sean; first of all, do not head upstairs for anything short of a fire until I get back inside. You said the students may not have returned the favor, well now is the time to see how an exceptionally great this group of kids can be."

"Lad, if Jubilee went overboard with her pranking-"

"This was not one of Jubilee's pranks, Sean. She likes a big audience, whenever it was that happened, it is way too subtle for her with so many new faces to impress."

"I don't understand, Lad. What just happened?"

"I do not know yet, but please do not go upstairs to find out."

Still not sure what is going on, he can only guess that Agent Nichols is trying to see how mature the students can get. "All right Kordel, I'll stay down here. What's the other favor, Lad?"

"Please check in on Artie, Leech, and Penance, they are all in the Rec Room eating ice cream and watching a movie." With that, he headed outside for the Biosphere.

"Of course, Lad. Wait. Penance. Ice cream?"

End of Chapter One

©David D. Amaya 2010