Chapter 1: Meeting


(Les Miserables characters appear, groaning.)

Enjolras (who shall be now known as Enjy): VIVE LA REPUBLIQUE!

M. Thenardier (who shall be now known as M. Thennie): NO! COME TO OUR INN!

Mme. Thennie: I AGREE!

Eponine (who shall be now known as Eppie): (to herself) One more day all on my own…

Marius (who is annoying so keeping his real name): Where is The Lark?

Cosette (who is also annoying so keeping her real name): I am here, my Marius!

(Inappropiate scenes between those two ensue- mainly involving lips)

Me: SERIOUSLY! Everyone, put a sock in it. And you two… oh just get a room.

(Marius and Cosette obey.)

Me: Thank you. Now, I've been talking-

Eppie: You what?

Enjy: Please say you haven't organised a social visit! I HAVE A REPUBLIC TO FIGHT FOR!

Me: A non-existent republic, Enjy.


Me: Tough. No. No. No! Concentrate. Don't you want to know who it's with?

All: NO!

(Valjean wanders in calmly.)

Valjean (who shall now be known as Valjie): What are we all resisting? (He sees me.) Oh. Right. OK, then. NO!

Me: Tough, you're gonna learn. COME ON IN!

(Through the door come: Charley, Artful Dodger, Nancy, Oliver, Fagin, Bill Sikes, Mr. Brownlow and some random orphans.)

All Mizzies: YOU. ARE. JOKING.

All Oliver!s: WHAT? YOU SAID….

Me: Well, have fun! (Quickly escapes)

All: (fumes)

A/N: Well, see that little button down there with a speech mark? It's looking lonely… very very very lonely. So, unless you want to be accused of being cruel, help make it less lonely, and review!