A/N: Hey. Yeah, I'm going a mad FF writing spree today. While I listen to David Tennant and Catherine Tate's version of Sigh No More…


I'll probably be wrapping this story up soon. Within this chapter or the next. Probably this one. Sorry about that, but I'm really not into Les Mis or Oliver! anymore. So there's not much point me continuing something that I don't really like.

On with the show!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Absolutely nothing. Apart from my messed up mind.

Fagin: (Magics up orchestra)

Dodger: If you're gonna sing the song 'bout Snuffles 'gain, you can can it. We're not doin'-

Fagin: (Starts conducting. Badly.)

Random Fagin's gang: (Start singing

Fagin: (Evil laughter)

Nancy: Anyway.

Me: AHA! There you are.

All: Oh no.

Gavvy: That's the one that locked us u-u-u-u-pppp. (Starts sobbing)

Me: Gavvy.

Me: Gavvy.

Me: Gavroche.



Gavvy: (Stops)

Me: Thank you.

Eppie: What are you going to do to my little brother…?

Me: Nothing. Well, not just to him. You need to get back in the room.

Eppie: You mean the room you locked us in?

Me: Yeah, that one.

Charley: Why should we?

All: (start shouting) Yeah? Why! Tell us! (etc etc.)

Me: Cause I'm the authoress and I say so. So there.

Bill: Okay… (starts dragging his feet and disappears. Sounds of a door opening and closing.)

Me: Well that was unexpected.

Nancy: Ever so slightly. I'll go see… (disappears)

Charley, Dodger: We should… (disappear)

(The rest of the crowd disappear in this fashion, until Enjy is the only one left.)

Me: Go on.

Enjy: No.

Me: Please.

Enjy: No.

Me: Why not?

Enjy: Cos I don't have to.

Me: Damn your segregation from all humans.

Enjy: Hahahah.

Me: Fine. You can go back to your book.

Enjy: YESSSSSSSSS. (disappears into Les Misérables)

Me: Oh, thank God. They're all gone.

In a locked room, somewhere near the Red Sea

Eppie: I can't believe it.

Nancy: William Sikes, you are an idiot.

Eppie: This is ridiculous.

Nancy: We're locked in here. Again.

Eppie: We used the hairpin the first time round.

Nancy: And then lost it.

Eppie: Yeah.

Nancy: Aren't you meant to be from 19th century France?

Eppie: Yeah, I am…

Nancy: So why are you speaking in 21st century English?

Eppie: Why aren't you speaking in 19th century English?

Nancy: Touché.

Eppie: You know French?

Nancy: I do now.

Fagin: My dears, there is only one way out of here.

Dodger: (looks at Fagin expectantly) Do you have the answer?

Fagin: I do, I do. We have only one option. Escape is out of the question.

Random orphan 1: Aren't you meant to be coming up with an escape plan?

Fagin: No. We must sit and wait for the authoress to rescue us.

All: (start shouting, very annoyed-ly, at Fagin.)

Fagin: There is no need to shout!

Nancy: (Sits down to wait)

Somewhere near the Channel

Me: Where'd I put that key…

A/N: And we're done! I did love doing this, but as I said before, I just kinda drifted off.

I hope you enjoyed that really quick attempt to wrap this whole story up.

G-B-C xx