DISCLAIMER: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight, but I claim the intellectual property of White Swan.

No copyright infringement intended.

To my fab pre-readers and betas: Belindella, Colette, Silvia & Lezlee. Thank you all so much!

This one varies a fair bit from the original version. Hope you like it!


I pushed the door open towards him.

Now he'd see I was a woman.

He gasped. "Holy shit…"

His eyes widened, seeing me dripping wet. Naked. My nipples puckered from the cooler air that rushed into the steamy bathroom. I just stared at him, hoping he'd see me as a woman and not a little girl. My breathing turned deep under Edward's blatant ogling of my breasts before his gaze wandered down to the apex of my thighs then back up again. His gaze turned ravenous, like he was a starving man and my body was his buffet.

I felt proud, seeing his breathing become deep and rough. I smirked. He grasped the door, causing the lean muscles in his exposed forearm to bulge under the pressure of his grip. I wanted to reach out and feel his hard muscles under my fingertips.

I wanted to feel all of him.

"Bella…" He closed his eyes, clenching them so he couldn't see me. "We shouldn't..."

Looking him over, I saw he was just as aroused as me from the large bulge in the front of his pants. I couldn't understand why he thought my age such a big deal. He'd wanted to kiss me earlier. I knew he did.

"I think we should," I said, stepping out of the bathroom and standing in front of him, leaving only a few inches between us. "I've never felt so… aroused before…" I heard what sounded like a growl rumble in his chest.

Standing this close to him, I could smell the remnants of his spicy aftershave, and the masculine scent of him tickled my belly, making heat emanate between my legs and my desire for him soar.

"Maybe it's because I watched you fearlessly rescue my dad," I continued, my voice quiet and sensual. "Maybe it's from how hot you look in this uniform…" I raised my hands and placed them on his chest, rubbing his pecs. Hearing him groan, I smiled and his eyes opened to stare down at me. I could see the turmoil within his stormy gaze and knew that he was warring within himself. "All I know is… I'm a woman, Edward. And I want you. I'm old enough to know what I want, and if you think I want a relationship… I don't expect that."

His eyes flicked between mine, studying me.

"I'm a little chilly," I lied, knowing it was plausible considering I was standing there dripping wet. "Could you…?" I looked at him through my lashes, hoping he'd help warm me up with his body.

He raised his arms to be level with my shoulders, and I smiled, thinking he was going to hug me. But instead, he reached past me and grabbed a rolled up white towel from the corner top shelf. Shaking it out, he wrapped it around my shoulders, and I struggled with the reality that he was rejecting me.


Disappointed, I held the towel clasped over my chest with one hand, while my cheeks flamed with humiliation, wanting to run away, but unable to move in the hope I could be wrong.

"You deserve better than me, Bella," he said, his voice low and scratchy but serious. "Can't you see that? I can't give you anything more than a quick romp – okay, a long romp. But you're a nice girl. You deserve someone who'll stick around or want to follow you wherever you go. All I'm good for is sex and–"

Putting my fingers over his lips, I shook my head to silence him. Elated that he wasn't refusing me only for my age, I felt my boldness return. If his main concern was that I'd be upset over a one night stand… "I know tonight is all we'll have. I'm okay with that. Really."

He swallowed hard and his eyes darkened with desire, making them turn a deeper shade of green. With his resolve shaken, I let go of my towel, letting it expose my breasts as it parted and hung from my shoulders. I slid my hand up his chest to behind his neck, twirling my fingers through the hair at the back of his head and combed them through his silken strands. So soft. His eyelids fluttered for a moment as I scratched my fingers against his scalp, while my other hand reached for his belt buckle.

Like the sun shining through oppressive rain clouds, his vision cleared to reveal nothing but raw lust. "Bella…"

"Kiss me." I pulled him towards me.

His lips were soft yet demanding and they felt incredible moulded to my own. He ripped the towel from my shoulders, and I moaned as his large, warm hands explored my slippery, naked back and sides, pulling me flush against him as he claimed my mouth.

With my breasts pressed against his hard chest, I gripped his clothes, needing him nearer as we kissed each other with a fierce desperation. After months of loneliness—living with my dad—Edward was exactly what I needed. He was such a good kisser. I couldn't help whimpering as his tongue moved with mine. I could taste the sweetness from the apple juice he'd been drinking and moaned into his mouth.

I delighted in the feel of his muscular shoulders under my hands and when I ran them down and squeezed his ass, I smiled against his lips when I heard his sharp intake of breath. Claiming my mouth again, he spread his hand over my lower back, and pulled me hard against his erection. Pressing himself into my stomach, Edward released a deep, guttural groan as he sucked my tongue.


He moved his lips to my jaw and started placing open mouthed kissed along my neck, sucking the water droplets from my wet skin, down to where my shoulder began.

"Oh, God… That feels so…" I trailed off, unable to find a word to properly describe the feel of his lips on my bare, sensitive skin.

He kissed along my collar bone and down between my breasts, making me melt with each touch of his lips. When his hands roamed my ass, hips and back, I dropped my head backwards and waited to feel his lips on my boobs. He didn't make me wait long. His tongue circled around my hardened nipple, and I drove my fingers into his hair to keep him against me while he sucked and licked, nibbled and flicked my pebbled flesh with his tongue. He was amazing. The overwhelming need I had for him left me speechless.

He switched breasts, beginning the same wondrous torture again. His right hand slid over my ass to the back of my knee where he began to stroke his fingertips against the surprisingly sensitive skin there. It felt so good my knees buckled for a moment from the intense tingling in my girly parts.

God. He played me like a well known instrument.

Panting, I needed him to be as naked as me, so I tugged at his shirt that was tucked into his pants. "You. Naked. Now." I'd never been aroused to such a fever pitch before. My blood was a bubbling volcanic mass, and I was about to erupt if I didn't have him soon.

Edward undid his belt, while I worked on the laces to his massive boots. He toed off his boots and dropped his trousers and boxers to the floor before kicking them off his feet, sending them sliding across to the other side of the cabin.

Wanting to fulfil my fantasy from earlier, I fisted my hands in the heavy material of his shirt and yanked my fists in opposite directions, expecting the buttons to burst off and for his shirt to rip open.

Nothing happened. "Shit! It works in the movies." I attempted it again, but nothing.

He chuckled. "Fuck, I love your eagerness." My fingers worked hard to push the top few buttons through their holes, but I was too impatient to have him naked. I gripped the bottom hem of both his shirts and pulled them over his head. As I dropped his shirts to the cabin floor, he stood there, naked in all his glory, with his chest heaving. He eyed me like I was a forsaken seal, and he was a hungry shark, and I wondered if my own desire looked like his. His erection was at full mast, begging me to taste him. It twitched under my thirsty gaze, and Edward smirked, smug.

He had every right to be proud. He was stunning. If I thought he was gorgeous in his uniform, he was absolutely mouth-watering naked. His body was pure muscle – chiseled, lean, defined and… absolute perfection.

Except for a few scars marring the smoothness of his torso.

Most of them were old and long healed, but they looked like they'd been painful. Raising my hand to his stomach, I touched the soft pads of my fingertips to the thickest scar that ran down his washboard abs. His stomach tensed as he watched me, his hands gripping my waist.

"Like I said…" He trailed off with a sigh. "My job is dangerous."

He was studying me with what I could only describe as sad contemplation before he replaced it with that look of starvation again.

Sensing his soul held just as many scars as his body, I lunged myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and crashing my lips to his. I wanted to ease his pain, to show him that he was worthy of love, that he deserved to be adored. He was beautiful inside and out, and I wanted to show him that. I wanted to show him how much I admired him. Our mouths moved together, and I poured myself into the kiss, hoping to convey every ounce of appreciation, respect and wonder that I felt for him.

He stumbled backwards a few steps from my attack and we both dropped to the hardwood floor, landing on the pile of blankets he'd thrown inside earlier. I knew I'd never look at the floor the same way again.

Panting, I moved and sat in his lap, my legs on either side of his hips. I pressed myself against his hard erection and claimed his sweet mouth again, my hands fisting his silky hair in an effort to hold him to me. I wanted him so badly.

"Ohhhh, fuck." He groaned against my lips, his fingertips digging into my hips as he encouraged me, guiding my movements.

He felt so good, so right. I was overcome with indescribable need. As he sat on the blankets, with me on top of him, he shuffled us backwards a bit so his back could rest against the side of the built in navigation seat.

I moaned when he bent his head and sucked my nipple hard, biting me a little. The slight pain only added to the overwhelming pleasure that was engulfing my body.

"I want you… in me," I panted, unable to wait any longer.

His hand reached to the side and clawed for his discarded trousers that were lying in a tangled heap beside us. Finding the back pocket, he produced his wallet and a moment later, he withdrew a long line of condom foils.

Ripping one off, I rolled it onto him, enjoying the feel of him between my hands. I leaned forward and held onto his shoulders, kissing him again, while I raised myself to take him in. With a large, warm hand on my hip, he guided me while his other hand positioned his dick at my entrance.

Moving my hips, I moaned as he slid through my slippery folds until his head was just inside. He broke the kiss and with our gazes locked, his eyes searched mine for any hint of doubt or regret.

I had none.

We breathed in each other's panting breaths as I took him all the way in.

His eyes closed as a soft "Fuck…" fell from his lips, my forehead falling forward onto his. I'd never felt so full, so consumed, so… complete. We were like two halves coming together, and I had never felt as right and whole as I did then.

His hands glided over my thighs, hips and ass with a caressing touch while I began to move above him. Groaning, he lowered his head and began sucking and kissing my neck and shoulder, guiding me with one hand on my hip, the other on my boob, making my breaths quicken as he filled me every time. It was pure heaven.

Our bodies soon glistened with sweat. He looked so beautiful – heavy lidded with desire, sweat beading on his forehead and top lip, his mouth open as he panted. I gasped when he swiftly flipped me onto my back so that I was lying on the blankets. I loved the desire that poured out of his eyes for me, his show of strength and want of control. His muscles flex as he lowered his delicious weight to settle on top of me and in one swift thrust, he filled me again.


I ran my hands over his shoulders and back, enjoying the feel of his contracting muscles under my touch, while I tried to memorize every curve, every bulge, and every scar.

I couldn't get enough of him.

Cradling my head between his strong hands as he leaned on his elbows, he kissed me, plunging his tongue into my mouth and beginning a deep rhythm with his hips. With our bodies sliding against each other, I raised my legs, wrapping them around his waist. I scratched my blunt nails down his back, wanting him closer, wishing I could climb inside of him. He moved faster and started rotating his hips causing my already building orgasm prickle and swirl with more force.

"Oh, shit… Edward!" On the brink of ecstasy, I gasped when he began pounding into me, leaning back a little so he could slip his hand between us to rub my clit with his thumb. "Oh! Don't… Don't stop. Ah… Ahh… Ahhh….!"

"That's… it… Bella… Tell… me." He punctuated each word by slapping his hips against mine, jolting me backward with every powerful thrust.

"Ung! Edward..." Surging waves of pleasure crashed over me, making my whole body taught beneath him, my mouth open in a silent scream of blinding bliss as he continued to plunge himself into me.

"Fuck! Ung! Bella…. So… good." I felt him harden even more and moments later, he found his own release. While he tensed above me, I caressed his slippery back until he finished. Gazing at him with wonder, I was amazed at how he'd made me feel – how he still made me feel.

Don't get attached.

The loud thought made my chest ache with a dull but persistent pain. I swallowed. It was going to be so hard to say goodbye to Edward. He was wonderful… he was everything I had always wanted in a man.

Even though I didn't know the finer details about him – like if he snored, if he was bullied at school or if he had siblings – I knew how much I liked him.

With a chaste kiss to my lips, he pulled out and rolled to the side, discarding the condom into the trash under the navigation table. Lying on his back, he breathed hard as his chest rose and fell. He looked over at me and gave me a roguish grin, his eyes twinkling with happiness.

"Come here, gorgeous," he said, motioning me over with his hand before letting it flop onto his flat stomach.

I shuffled closer and cuddled up to his side, willing to deceive myself hat he cared more for me than I knew he was able to, just so I could simply bask in his affection. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me tighter against him.


After the traumatic day I'd had, the long, lonely months at sea and the years of separation from my friends, being held by him made my heart fill with warmth. I felt safe.

But he offered his affection at a price.

I laid my head on his shoulder and sighed when I heard his strong, thumping heartbeat.

He'd wanted me…

He moved his arm, which had been heavy over my waist, to stroke his fingers up and down my side with a feather light touch. It was a good thing I wasn't ticklish.



"Can I ask you something?"


"What happened to make you swear off relationships?"

He stilled his hand and let it rest against me. Biting my lower lip, I listened to his heart beating in his chest for a moment, about to apologize for being nosey.

He took a deep breath, making my head and hand rise along with his chest. "My friend died. That's what happened." His sad, detached tone made my heart ache.

"Oh. I'm sorry."

His fingers began stroking me again, and I relaxed against him, pleased he wasn't pulling away.

"Two years ago," he said. "Peter and I, uh… we were dropped by chopper onto a powerboat that was suspected of being used to transport drugs. We landed on the deck while the other Coasties jumped onboard from the Coast Guard boat. We thought we'd rounded up all the suspects, but we'd missed one. The fucker shot Peter straight through his femoral artery and Peter… he bled out before I could get him back to the chopper."

I lay silent, shocked, not knowing what to say.

"His girlfriend, Charlotte… she never said it, but I knew she blamed me and his job." I squeezed him, feeling the pain in his voice. "She shot herself two weeks later." I sucked in a sharp breath, and he pulled me closer, gripping his hair with his other hand. "I know accidents happen, but I can't shake the guilt of the past, or the future. That's why it's easier for me to stay single. If I died…"

I traced random patterns against his chest with my fingertips, running them through his light dusting of hair. "But nobody knows when. You could live to be a hundred."

"In my lifetime, I've had several close calls and was in two bad accidents were I'd be dead already if they hadn't revived me. If what they say about third time being a charm, then..." He shrugged, mocking his ominous outlook.

"What? I didn't peg you as the superstitious type." I laid quiet for a moment. "So you really believe that you're number's up the next time you have an accident?"


I sighed. How could he live like that? Always expecting the worst? "That doesn't mean you're going to die next. It also doesn't mean you can't have a relationship. I'm sorry about your friend and his girlfriend. Really. I am. But it seems like such a waste… that you'd… that you'd deny yourself love on the possibility of something bad happening. It's a risk we all take, everyday of our lives. It doesn't matter if you risk your neck daily or if you're a pen pusher in an office – when your time is up, it's up."

He didn't say anything, only dragged in a deep breath, so I kept going.

"What's going to change once you stop doing active service? Something could still happen to you. None of us are safe. Not really. That's why you've got to take a chance… live for the moment. You're such a great guy, and… you deserve to be happy. I'm not saying it'll be with me, but I'm just saying you need to take a chance… with someone."

He didn't respond, and not knowing what else to say, we just lay there, stroking the others skin, lulled by the soft sound of water lapping against the hull and the low music still playing. I was replaying our conversation, hoping he'd ask me out, when his silky voice called my name.


"Mm-hm?" I propped myself up on my elbow and leaned over his chest, gazing down at him. My smile faltered when he scrubbed a hand over his face before running it through his hair. He looked nervous, uptight, and my stomach twisted with apprehension.

"When we get to Port Angeles tomorrow…" he trailed off, closing his eyes and fisting his hand in his hair.

I knew what he was doing. He was trying to tell me that this was still only a one-night thing. I'd known it from the beginning, and I'd still raised my hopes. I felt my chest tighten. I'd been so stupid. He'd said he didn't do relationships. He'd told me this was just casual. I knew…

"It's okay, Edward." I forced a smile and sat up. "I know you said this was just causal. I said it was fine. Remember?" I swallowed around the golf sized lump in my throat and reached for one of the blankets behind me.

"Bella…" He sat upright and grabbed my hand, brushing his fingers down my cheek. I frowned at him, unable to stop a flicker of hope from growing. "You're a great girl, but I just… can't… I'm sorry."

I felt as though he'd just dumped a bucket of iced water on me, but looking into his sad, deep green eyes, I nodded, masking my disappointment that he'd just called me a girl and that he'd dashed all hopes for something more with him. "Don't worry about it."

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I would have asked him to leave, but I still needed his help to get to Port Angeles. I'd ruined our friendship. How were we going to spend all day tomorrow with each other when all I wanted to do was run from him?

He frowned, watching me hastily wrap myself in a blanket. "You're upset."

"No, I'm not."

He sighed. "This is exactly why I didn't want to. I knew—"

I lifted my chin, concealing my hurt at hearing his regret. "I'm just tired. It's been a long day. That's yourcabin there." I pointed to the one next to mine while avoiding his gaze. I didn't want to snuggle with him. Not anymore. Just looking at him twisted the knife in my chest.

I thought I could do this. I thought I could be one of those women that had casual sex. I was wrong. So wrong. He'd tried to stop me—twice—but I'd been too stubborn to listen, too intent on proving to myself that I could get a guy like him.

He stared at my blank face before slowly nodding. "Okay. Goodnight, Bella."

"Night." I climbed into my tiny cabin and pulled the curtain across the little opening. I laid my head on my pillow to the sound of him gathering his clothes from the floor where we'd just made love. I mean… had sex.

Meaningless sex.

Feeling more alone than ever, my chin quivered and tears flooded my eyes. I hated being a cry-baby. With my heart tearing in two, I brought my knees up to my chest, buried my head beneath my pillow… and wept.


A lot different to how the original o/s ended, but bear with me, it's all for a purpose :)

Thank you all so much for the reviews last chapter! You're support and encouragement is amazing. Thank you!

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