Help! I'm stuck in an elevator with…

Dr. Spencer Reid

Reid performs the necessary calls for help and pushing of alarm buttons and then sits down patiently on the floor. I sit in the corner.

Reid: I'm sure someone will come soon.

Me: I'm sure they will.

A moment of silence.

Reid: Did you know there have only been two elevator brake failures in this city in the last five years?

Me: No, I didn't. That's comforting.

Reid: Yes, it is. Elevators are very safe.

Another silence.

Reid: There was a movie a few years ago that indicated that the Duke of Albany invented the elevator, but passenger lifts have been around for longer than the late 1800s.

Me: It was a joke.

Reid: What?

Me: In that movie, the Duke of Albany had a valet named Otis. The man who invented the safety brake for elevators was named Otis.

Reid: That's true. You could say he's our benefactor.

Me: He certainly is. In addition, Leopold, the Duke in that movie, was actually the son of Queen Victoria, and he died of hemophilia.

Reid: It's not often I'm in the position of asking someone how they know something.

Me: I looked him up. I was interested in the historical accuracy.

Reid: I was more interested in the scientific accuracy.

Me: Well, not every movie has Star Trek's good scientific track record.

Reid: That's true. I found the discussion of the time paradoxes to be fascinating, but it was unnecessarily sensationalist to force a time vortex to open on the Brooklyn Bridge. The odds of that happening—

Me: Well, it had to open somewhere, and it's unrealistic to expect it to open in a place that's most convenient to the characters. Anyway, it was a plot device to further the development of the main character as someone willing to go to any lengths for love. Sometimes character development is more important than statistical accuracy.

Reid: Or historical accuracy?

Me: Well…I wouldn't go that far.

We laugh. A voice startles us.

Morgan: Do you two want out of here or not?

He's standing in the open doorway with a technician.

Reid: No, not really.

Me: Would you have someone bring us some tea?