Sadly, warm fuzzies do not ensure a safe escape. The North American duo found that out the hard way when the door to Germany's bedroom was finally opened. There was an unspoken moment shared between the two, and they both knew the drill. Stealthy and quiet. With America leading the way, the two silently observed the hall, Kumajirou's nose twitching all the while. Alfred bit his lower lip in concentration as eyes darted up and down the very same corridor leading to the front door. It was like he was watching an intense tennis match.

"What're you waiting for?" Canada whispered as politely as he could- though at that point, it was a desperately nagging question.

"Chill." America whispered back with a dismissive hand wave thrown over his shoulder. "I'm trying to find our exit."

A forced, slightly neurotic laugh escaped Canada. "Heheh, But Alfred, d-dear brother of mine…. The door is that way." Canada took America's shoulders and rotated him towards the respective direction.

America shook Canada off and hushed him. "I'm thinking! I told the others I would crawl out a window with you, and I can't remember which one."

"…Others?" With his mouth agape, Canada looked down at his bear in awe. Kumajirou gave as much of a shrug as he could, and when Canada looked up, America was gone.

"Psssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssss t!" America had his eyebrows raised impatiently. He was already half way down the hall and rearing to go. "What're you waiting for, -Doesn't-Know-Where-The-Door-Is?"

"O-others?" Canada echoed his previous squeak of awe as he quietly caught up to his brother. "What others?"

"Oh, ya know. Iggy, Francey-pants, the Commie and…. China." America allowed himself a quick chuckle. "Don't have a cutesy name for China. I'll work on that. But you know, the whole gang."

Canada was left speechless once more. The Allies were there to rescue him? The very thought made his stomach flip, but in a good way. Most of the time they didn't even notice he was in the room, let alone know who he was. But they had really come all this way, just for him!

As America continued to walk down the hall, Canada's backed up stress and paranoia began to set in. He took to listening for any telltale signs of the approaching enemy. Much to his relief, he could only hear a faint chattering noise and the clinking of plates. There was even a hint of some sourly sung notes. Slowly, Canada allowed an image of merriment and good time form in his head. Food and beer abound, smiles and laughter exchanged. Germany enjoying himself was almost impossible to invision... Canada touched his head where he had been hit tenderly- just to remind himself that it had actually happened. And then there was Italy... So air-headed, so naive... He must have his secrets. Canada knew that he himself did. When Italy had actually recognized him earlier... That was scary. Did Italy know more than he let on to? Or was it just dumb luck? It was strange, really, to think that someone like Italy could be so close to someone like Germany.

"Found it!" America stopped short- just in time for the dazed Canadian to run into him.

"Soory.." Canada whispered, but mostly to Kumajirou, who had accidentally gotten a face full of America's back. He let out a snort of discontentment.

"This is totally the window! Totally!" America's smile only wavered a little as he glanced at Canada's unsure face. "Totally..."

The window looked just like any other window. Square. See-through. The night outside was an inky black, with the moon playing nightlight.

"So... How does it open?" Canada's question was left unanswered as America began feeling along the windowsill and gently pushing on the panels.

"Got it!" America's whispered in sing-song. "Dude, who's you're hero?!"

"The Great Gretski." Canada said immediately. "Awesome Canadian! Fantastic hockey player, I got to meet him once."

"Oh shut up. Look!" America couldn't help but smile at the teasing. His eyes were beaming with pride as he turned back to the window. "I so got this!"

America had unlocked the window and pushed it open.

"... All you had to do was unlock it?"

"Yeah!" America's enthusiasm for the simplest things never ceased to amaze Canada. "Now, this thing is a good three feet from the ground, so we can just swing our legs over, and run for it."

'And run for it' was term commonly shared among the two ever since Canada could remember. 'I'll lift you up, you take the cookies and run for it!' England never did hear that phrase. It was one of the brother's shared quirks.

America stepped back and motioned for Canada to go first. Waiting for a teasing remark or snide comment, Canada hesitantly took a step forward. When America remained quiet, Canada was a little surprised. He flashed America a smile. "Thanks."

"No problemo!" America returned his brother's smile with his flashy I'm-Totally-The-Awesomest-Hero-Ever beam. "You might wanna put your bear thingy out of the window first though."

" ?" Canada looked down once more at the polarbear in his arms. "Good idea."

On any other night, the air would've had a calming effect. But tonight, calming was not an adjective used to describe anything. He held out at arms length and smiled nervously as he let the white bear leap down outside. "I'll feed you whatever you want when we get back home, okay?"

The bear look pleased with this promise when suddenly, his ears flicked at towards oncoming footsteps. His hackles rose and he emitted a low, throaty growl.


China didn't understand. He really didn't. The Allies were having an emergency meeting to rescue... who was it? Can.. Cambodia? No... Canada! Of course, Canada. Anyway, from what China could tell, the situation was all America's fault. Or at least China liked to think it was. Stupid American. And now America had gone directly into enemy territory, forcing England to go into a tizzy when he didn't return 5 minutes later.

And that was why China was now wearing a fake moustache that France had on him, carrying some "Chinese Food" made by Britian himself. China tried his best not to take it as an insult, and to simply look at it as a battle strategy. He took some offense anyway. As to how England had cooked the food so fast was also a mystery to China. England said something about the fairies helping him, but China decided to just stop questioning things. Tonight was annoying, and he would rather be at home reading a magazine or something. And yet, there was something about being on the battlefield once again that he liked. The risk. The danger. The volunteering to play delivery boy just to get away from Russia. Things like that.

The man still dressed in bright red approached the door with grace and dignity, and the courage that a nation as old as he should have. He had his trusty wok in one hand hidden behind his back, ready to strike whomever opened the door if- no, when they didn't fall for the disguise.

China was about to approach the door when he heard a soft growling noise to his right. He shot a confused glance at the nearest window. He gasped and almost dropped the "take out".

"SO CUUUUTEEEE!" He took one step towards the adorable yet strangely familiar growling bear, but then scolded himself. He was on a mission. Then he looked up, and saw America hanging half way out of the window, with a look of pure shock on his face.

"America!" China hissed, scurrying over to the window with a nagging pretense. "Where have you been?! England won't shut up!"

Canada popped his head out from behind the still shocked America. "Present and accounted for! I was afraid bushybrows would pull the trigger too soon."

China stared blankly at the person he though was Canada, and the person he thought was America. Brow furrowed, he took his wok and pointed it towards the blonde hanging out the window.

"... Wait... Canada?"

The country in question smiled sheepishly and waved a bit. "Hi."

The wok turned to the one with just his head poping out.

"So you're..."

"Alfred F. Jones, Film-maker-archeologist-hero-extraordinare at your service!"

China stared blankly for another two seconds before shaking his head. "Western nations are so..." He let out an odd combination of a sigh and a grumble.

America laughed heartily, then all expression drained from his face at the sound of a loud crash. He quickly pulled his head back in from the window. Canada froze, unsure of what else to do. America's eyes narrowed and he bit his tongue as he listened. He hoped he had heard wrong... but he hadn't.

He quickly thrust his head back out the window. "China. Go do whatever you were going to do. Quickly! We need a distraction!" His tone was that out-of-character serious again.

China's eyes widened a bit at the sudden change of attitude and rushed up to the door to follow orders. He briskly knocked on the front door.

Canada caught his breath and started to shrink back into the house.

"Why did you tell him to do that? We're in the same hall as the front door! They'll see us and-"

"WHHHOOOOoooooOooooooooo IS IT?!" A gruff, drunken voice called out. America's eyes widened and Canada's heart skipped a beat.

"No, they won't see you. Well, me. Because I'm you. It's confusing. In the mean time, you need to get out pronto." America was talking faster than normal.

"I'm not leaving you." Canada's voice was adamant.

"I'm not leaving me either." America gave an unsure smile. "We don't know what's coming, and I imagine that you've been here long enough, eh? Oot. Now."

Canada couldn't help but crack a tiny smile at his brother's mocking.

"Kay dude!" Canada gently mocked back. He turned to the window and wavered a bit. "Um, wait... how should I-"

Canada was interrupted once again by noisy stumbling and a loud slurred combination of German and English. Whoever it was was slowly making his way towards the escapees.

"Bruder!" There was a crash. Heavy footsteps mixed with slurred words. "Whoops! Kesesesesyhatwasreallyfunnyo kayanyway aren't you glad ich came over 'n stuff? I'm so awesome."

The North Americans looked at each other and simutaneously muttered "Prussia."

There was a knocking sound, as if someone had just walked into a wall. "HEY! WHO THE HELL MOVED THE GODDAMM DOOR?! THE AWESOME ME WHOM I AM SHOULDN'T HAVE DOORS MOVED ON HIM AND stukkskshfkdndkeseseseses!" He burst out into giggles.

Canada stood up straight, giving America a questioning look. "If he's drunk then there shouldn't be much of a problem, should there?"

America's eyes had that veil again, like a dark mesh that made it hard to tell what he was really thinking. "You never know. Just... just dive out the window head first, okay?"

The way America was acting worried Canada even more than an oncoming drunk Prussian. "Head first?"

"WEEEEESSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTYYYY WESTTTTT Where aaaer yooooou?!" That came out as a whine. "ARE YOU FINALLYkkkkesesesesesesehaha hahaHAAAA, Y-YOU FINALLY DOING THE ITALIAN?KAKAJJSJSKKSSKKESSESESESESHA AA!" A door opened and slammed. "Not in there you arentttt. WEEEEESTT, IMMA GET THE DOOR, KAAYYY?"

Panicked and extremely ungracefully, Canada stuck his torso out of the window. was sitting there in a pretty neutral state, eyeing China suspiciously every now and then, seemingly unaware of everyone's panicky state. Canada reached out, attempting to put his hands on the ground while trying to prevent himself from falling on his face.

"Al, I need a boost!" He hissed. He felt ridiculous.

"On it!" America replied. He grabbed his brother's ankles so that he could walk forward on his hands.

"Prussia! You dumkoph!" The deep, sober voice boomed out from Prussia's general direction, and it sounded angry.

The two brothers froze- looking like they were trying to win a human wheelbarrow contest through a window.

"Germany, do you-a have to be so mean to ?" Italy's voice was desperately trying to sound soothing. "He just wanted to have a good time and-"

"He broke my teapot! I will not have him breaking anything else, or ruining my work!"

Their voices were so close.

"America!" Canada whispered. "Lower me quickly, and I'll help China distract Germany while you get out!"

Before America even had the chance to respond, Prussia came running up, opened the front door, and promptly took the food from China. He was followed quickly by Germany, who had Italy chasing after him frantically.

"China, this food tastes like shit." Prussia was eating something that looked like it was supposed to be stir fry with his hands.

"China?" Germany forced Prussia aside, causing him to fall over in a fit of giggles, and then crying because Bruder spilled the shitty food.

"Ve~ is here now, and he even brought his acrobats!"

Italy, his eyes closed and mouth agape in a stupid grin, pointed to America and Canada. Germany slowly turned around, and saw the two.

America waved.

China's wok got a taste of Germany's head. The confused nation wobbled a bit, then fell to the ground, completely knocked out.

"G-Germany!" Italy yelled. He ran to his ally and looked up at China teary eyed. Then he ran to the kitchen faster than anyone had seen him run before.

"Let's GO!" Canada yelled, and America listened. He finished helping Canada through the window, and made a mad dash for the door, grabbing China by the ponytail on his way out. The door slammed behind them.

Moments later, a very irritated Austrian came out. "Vhat in ze world-" He stopped short. Prussia was dead drunk, lying on the ground, moaning. Germany had a large knot on his head, and was unconscious on the floor. Italy was no where to be found.

Austria slowly turned around, and returned to his room.


"CANADA!" England and France called out simultaneously. England seemed a bit embarrassed by his outburst, but France held nothing back as he squeezed the life out the younger nation.

"Good job, Amerika!" Russia called out in a sing-song voice. "We should go back to my place and celebrate with some vodka, da~?"

Russia's suggestion went ignored as England and France pummulled everyone else with questions.

"Are you alright?"
"Did he hurt you?"
"Are you hurt at all?"
"I just asked that you frog!"
"Oui, but I want to know for myself, an-"
"Alfred, what took you so long?! You.. are Alfred, aren't you?"
"Of course not, that is Mathue plain as day!"
"No, that is obviously-"

"Shut up!" Canada yelled. Everyone went silent and stared for a moment before he released a sheepish grin. "Thank you all for coming, I'm fine, really. Can we.. please, just go home?"

The group more or less all said yes, or begged yes, or wondered out loud why they all couldn't stop by their place first just to have a few vodkas. They all started to move out when-

"H-Hey!" There, standing in the threshold was Italy, his eyes open (though still watery) and holding a cheese grater threateningly. "I.. I'm not about to just let you go! Germany has done nothing but work very very hard to make his boss happy! And he never is!"
Italy took a couple of steps closer.
"So... So if Germany can't finish his job, I'll do it for him! , get back inside!"

The Allies were speechless.

" !" Italy's voice was the most serious it had ever been. He ran up and grabbed Canada's arm, making desperate attempts to pull him back in. It had the same effect as a young child trying to tug their parents into a candy store.

Canada could not believe this. Nope. He just couldn't. Here he was, on the cusp of freedom. And there was this whiny, determined man trying to prevent that. He was going to squash him like a bug. He looked Italy square in the face.

"Excuse me?" He smiled, but it wasn't polite. Oh, no. "Are you being serious right now? I have been through more today than your little pasta-oriented mind could comprehed, mostly because it's convoluted and full of continuity errors, but that isn't the point!" He ripped his arm out of the speechless Italian's grip. "The point is, you actually believe you could ever make America go back with you by threatening him with a cheese grater? Oh, and yes, that's right. I'm not America. No! I am motherfucking Canada, and gosh darn it, you messed with the wrong country! I am not going to go back with you! Hell no! I'm going to go home, take a shower, feed my bear and go to sleep. That's something you'd be familiar with, wouldn't it? The sleeping, not the bathing. And further more-"

"Uh, Canada-" America's voice was quiet. Canada whipped around in response.

"What?!"

"Dude ran away after the first minute or so." America was beaming from ear to ear. "That was awesome."


It had been a week since the whole kerfuffle. Apologies had been exchanged, forgiveness was shared, and confusions among the other nations were more or less sorted out.

Matthew was lounging on the couch, pretending to watch a hockey game he had already seen, when he heard someone clearing their throat.

"Hey, Mattie?" Canada looked up from the television only to find America leaning against the threshold to the kitchen. Canada raised his eyebrows, prompting America to go on.

"...I don't really have to do the dishes, for a whole five months, do I?"

Author Notes:

Welp. We did it kiddies. We're done here.

Thank you, everyone, for reading and reviewing. I never would've ever imagined that this two year old, poorly written fanfic would get the attention it's gotten.

I couldn't ever say it enough. Thank you.

As always,

HAPPY READING.