Anime: Hell Girl (Jigoku Shoujo)
Rating: K+ I believe.
Warnings: I don't think there's any OOCness in here. I think.
Disclaimer: Don't own Hell Girl. Why do we need to say we don't own the anime? It's freakin' obvious!
Notes: Kind of continuing from my previous Hell Girl fic, "Technical Difficulties". Doesn't really matter if you read that one, but whatever. Life shall go on~!

Everyone agreed. Ai's computer was older than her grandma.

"Hey! That's not funny!" Snapped Ai's grandma.

Ok... so with the exception of Ai's grandma, everyone agreed Ai's computer was older than her grandma. Was it, perhaps... time for a new computer?

"It'd be good for you, Miss! You've been with this one for so long. It's time you keep up with the technology of this modern world!" Ichi said enthusiastically, "Hey, I heard that new J-Pad is really great."

"Ai is not getting a J-Pad!" Disagreed Hone Onna, "She doesn't need to bring her computer with her anywhere she goes. But why not get a laptop? I mean, why not?"

Seriously. Why not. That's the only reason people get laptops. They fold, they close, they can fit in your book bag... I mean, hey. Why not?

"Laptops are no good!" Scoffed Wanyudo. "What our dear Ai needs is a Zacintosh. Those can't get viruses."

"So freaking what?" Argued Ichi, "Fine, if she won't take that, then just get a Tindows 7. I heard Ticrosoft really upped their game on 7. It's easy to use, too! Unlike a confusing Zacintosh, or Zacbook..."

Ai let her three companions argue over what type of computer Ai should get. She stared at her dinosaur computer. It has been with her for so long, and shes so used to the simple interface. It'd be really hard to adjust to a new fancy one that probably has a full color screen that includes more than black and red.

"Why not..." Began Ai, "Go to GreatBuy?"

Her assistants looked at her.

"GreatBuy? Well, I guess why not?" Said Hone Onna.

"A store worker will probably know whats best for Ai." Said Wanyudo.

And so it was agreed.

The following day, Ai and her companions ventured out into the human world, so very disguised as usual. Well, maybe except Ichimoku. He wore the same damn pants and sweater. Wanyudo wore... well, er, normal old people clothes and Hone Onna wore casual street clothes. Ai wore her school girl outfit... but this time with a green scarf. Yea. Ai is the epitome of incognito.

They entered the huge store and were greeted by a worker.

"Hi there!" He squeaked, coming out of nowhere. He half scared Ichi. "Welcome to GreatBuy!"

"Er, Hi." Greeted Ichi back.

"My name is Jeff. Are you looking for anything in particular today?" He said with a slight but obvious Spanish accent.

"Um, well, she is." Said Ichi, looking at Ai who was, as usual, staring off into space.

"Ah! Something for your daughter, si?" Presumed Jeff.

"Uh, no she's not—"

"What about you, Mom?" He asked Hone Onna, "You looking for anything today? Perhaps the new... J-PHONE 4!" He exclaimed, pulling a J-Phone out of his pocket.

"Um, I'm not the mom—"

"What about Grandpa, here?" Said the now overly annoying Jeff. "Abuelito wants a piece of this technology too!"


"Ah. Um, this way, please." Jeff said quietly, leading the way. Once he lead them there, he said "Lemme get you a computer specialist."

Ichi sighed. "Bout time. That guy was getting on my last damn nerve."

"Tell me about it." Agreed Hone Onna.

Soon another worker approached them. He introduced himself, and looked to damn familiar.

"Hi! I'm Jeff, the GreatBuy computer specialist."

"Um, didn't we just talk to you...?" Assumed Ichi, noticing he looked just like the previous Jeff.

"Ah! That was my twin brother. He's an annoying one, isn't he? Haha, no te precupes, no worries! I'm nothing like him." He explained.

"Good." Ichi said.

Jeff picked up Ichimoku's hand and began caressing it."I'm more of a... lover, not a fighter. Comprende?" He said seductively.

Ichimoku jerked his hand away. "Can we get a real computer specialist here, por favor?"

"Is there a problem here?" Asked a female worker, approaching the scene.

"C-Can you please help us find a computer?" Begged Ichi.

"Of course! I got this, Jeff. Gracias. Adios." She shooed Jeff away. "Sorry about that. He's a bit... flamboyant. Were trying to get him to stop doing that to the customers."

"It's alright. Now, can we get to the computers...?" Asked Hone Anna.

"Is there any type of computer in particular you guys are looking for?" She asked. "My name's Jessica, by the way."

"Actually we just want a new computer. Been stuck with the same computer for years..." Explained Hone Onna.

"What computer was it?"

"Um..." Hone Onna turned to Ichi. "What was it? A Tindows 2000?"

"Isn't it a 95?" Said Ichi.

"It's just really really old." She said to Jessica. Jessica laughed.

"Alright, alright. So you want something more modern?"


Jessica directed them to a row of nice looking computers.

"I assume you still want a Tindows based computer." She said. Ichi and Hone Onna nodded.

"Well, if you're looking for something simple but still gets the job done nicely, a Tindows XQ is fine, and cheap. Or if you want something with a little more OOMPH, I recommend the Zista. OR, OR, If you want something flawless, I totally recommend the Tindows 7. It's brilliant."

"Well, Miss? It's your computer. It's only fair you choose." Said Ichi to Ai.

"Money is not a problem, Ai. Pick whichever." Added Hone Onna.

Ai, looking as clueless as ever, looked up at Ichi. "OK. I choose..."

"Very nice choice." Said Jessica, pulling out her keys to get Ai's computer package from behind the glass doors. She removed the computer package and took it to a cash register.

"Thank you so much," Said Ichimoku, "You were really helpful."

"Let me just find someone to ring this up for you, and you'll be ready to go." She went off to search and left Hone Onna rummaging through her purse to find the right credit card.

"I can tell Ai is excited. She looks somewhat more alert of her surroundings today." Commented Ichimoku. Ai ignored that comment and resumed staring off into space. Ichimoku heard the sound of someone scanning a barcode and looked over.

"Hi! I'm Jeff, the GreatBuy Assistant Manager. Did you find everything you were looking for today, Señorita?" He asked ever so smiley about it.

"Um... yes." Replied Hone Onna, seriously disturbed, swiping her credit card.

"Would you be interested in a FREE one year magazine subscription to Peoplezzz Magazine?" He asked. As tempting as it sounded, Hone Onna knew better.

"No, sorry."

"Not a Peoplezzz person I see!" He remarked, laughing out loud. "How about Man's Health?" He eyed Ichimoku with a creepy smile.

"No." Said Hone Onna.

"Mary Clairly?"


"Much Better House and Gardens?"


"Gay Monthly?"

"Definite No!" Exclaimed Ichimoku, "We don't want any damn magazines!"

Somehow, somehow, they managed to not order any free magazines. Because everyone knows they start charging you once your free year has expired.

"I really like the computer Miss chose." Said Ichi, sitting down in Ai's room.

"Me too. The lady was nice enough to throw in a printer for 50% off. I really liked that Jessica girl. I'll be coming back to that GreatBuy." Said Hone Onna

"I ain't goin' back. The Jeffs' freaking traumatized me." Said Ichi. Hone Onna laughed.

"How's it running, Ai?" Asked Hone Onna.

Ai took a while to respond. "It runs... fast. Thank you Hone Onna... Ichimoku Ren... and Wanyudo. I appreciate this very very much."

"It was nothing." Said Wanyudo.

"My name is Enma Ai. . ." Began the Hell Girl, ". . .I'm a PC, And Tindows 7 was my idea."

I think I did a good job on this one. Nice follow up to "Technical Difficulties", eh? Ticrosoft and Zacintosh are obvious parodies of you know what. And so was GreatBuy. And anything else in there that seemed familiar. Kinda added and fixed summore stuff because I felt I really could have done better. Thanks for reading!