Summary: Worried about what her best friend now thinks of her, a scared Caroline goes to see a drunk Bonnie.
Spoilers: None. I haven't read spoilers for episode three. This is a pre-emptive strike in case the writers don't give me what I want. If you've seen Brave New World, then you're good.
A/N:I know I'm supposed to be working on other fics, and I am, but I needed to get this out. There will be a sequel to this.
This is dedicated to razycrandomgirl who foresaw me writing a Caroline/Bonnie friendship fic. Lol.
Disclaimer: If I owned the characters, Bonnie would've had a spot in the ending montage of episode two. Still not over it, people. Lol.
It Was You
Caroline entwined her hands nervously as she stood in front of Bonnie's door. She took some steps away from the door, shook her anxiety off, and knocked. She held her breath as she waited for an answer. She knew there was no chance of waking her dad up, because his car was not in the driveway. It is one o'clock in the morning, but she knows Bonnie is up because there is a light on downstairs. She knocks again and then again when there is still no response. "Bonnie it's me," she says. "Caroline?" Her worry mounts when she considers the possibility that Bonnie is not answering because she knows who's on the other side.
She hears the door unlocking, and then it swings open. Bonnie isn't behind it, but the living room light is on. She moves to step inside, but she's unable to. She huffs out a breath, not understanding why that happens. She looks around for Bonnie, and she sees her friend slowly poke her head out. Caroline can see she's sitting at the center island. "Bonnie?" she says, unsure.
"Come in," she says lightly before righting herself on the stool.
Caroline is about to tell her that she can't when her foot goes over the threshold. She makes a mental not to ask Stefan about that the next time she sees him. She hesitantly makes her way to the kitchen, having no idea what she's going to say to Bonnie. What she sees brings her up short. Bonnie is at the table with a bottle, a shot glass, and tissues in front of her. Her face is crumbled and wet with tears.
Bonnie downs the shot. "What's up?" she asks after the liquid makes it down her throat.
"What's up?" Caroline asks, dumbfounded. She takes the seat next to her. "What are you doing, Bonnie?"
"Um," she says slowly. "I'm drinking. And, uh, I'm looking at this book," she gestures in front of her. "It's Emily's grimoire. I was looking at how to make the day-walking jewelry, because you're gonna need it."
Caroline pulled the aged book closer to her.
"But what's the point?" she asked as she poured another shot. "I'll probably make the ring; you put it on; step into the sunlight. And die anyways," she said flippantly before emptying the glass.
Caroline's heart sank at her words.
"I'm not Emily after all," she said, regurgitating Damon's words. "Emily knew what she was doing. Emily…knew how to make decisions."
Caroline picked up the bottle in front of Bonnie. It was now empty.
"Hmm," Bonnie said. She slid off the stool and almost fell. She got another bottle out of the refrigerator. "These belonged to grams," she said with a goofy look on her face. "I threw away most of the bottles, but…not the tequila." She slowly got on the stool. "Never the tequila," she smiled at Caroline. She opened the bottle and poured, some of the drink sloshing onto the counter. "Do you want some?"
"No," Caroline said, and her voice sounds distant. "What are you doing, Bonnie? Is this because of me?"
Bonnie didn't respond. She sipped her drink.
Caroline's throat tightened. "I, uh, I came over because I couldn't sleep. I couldn't stop thinking of how you looked at me, how you reacted when you saw what I was," she said as tears welled in her eyes. "You probably know that I killed that guy by now."
Bonnie closed her eyes as her head swam. "His name was Carter."
"I didn't mean to, I swear," Caroline whispered. Bonnie wasn't looking at her. "I just…I couldn't control it, but I…I think I'm learning."
Fresh tears rolled down Bonnie's cheeks.
"Bonnie please look at me," she implored, touching her, but she quickly took her hand away, afraid she would flinch from her touch. She doesn't think she could bear that. "I swear I'm not dangerous." Her voice was almost gone.
"Oh God, Caroline," Bonnie said, burying her face in her hands. She grabbed Caroline's hands, her grip strong, desperate. "I know you're not dangerous. I don't think you're dangerous." Her voice broke as she sobbed and hiccupped at the same time.
"You…you walked away from me. You look so horrified to see me," she said as her tears fell.
"I did this to you," Bonnie said, her voice void of emotion. She looked at their joined hands. "This was my fault."
"It was some chick named Katherine," Caroline said, confused.
"You need vampire blood in your system…to become a vampire," she said, looking at her friend. "And you had blood in your system. You had Damon's blood."
Caroline shook her head.
Bonnie nodded. "I told him to give it to you…to save your life."
"Why couldn't you save me?" Caroline asked, and Bonnie started to laugh. She swallowed the rest of her drink. She grabbed the bottle by its neck.
"Because I couldn't. I couldn't do it, so I had to rely on Damon. I," she pointed at herself, "decided it was best to give you blood." She shrugged. "And then you died," she said like it made sense; like it's perfectly normal that that would be the result of her decision. "I spoke to Katherine. Who I thought was Elena. I told her…that Damon gave you his blood." She looked at Caroline, waiting to see the blame in her eyes; the hate; for her to storm out and leave her alone. "I killed you," she said, so soft that Caroline almost didn't hear it.
She didn't know what to say. She wiped the tears away as they came. "You were trying to save my life."
"Yeah," Bonnie mocked. "Turns out I should've let the doctors do their jobs. Hindsight is 20/20 or something."
"They said it was a miracle. I could've died." She wasn't looking at Bonnie. She couldn't look away from the counter.
"Natural, scientific…miracles happen…all the time. I wasn't needed." She poured and then squeezed her eyes shut as her vision blurred. "You know what Elena and I were planning to do?" She looked at Caroline, and the blond finally looked back. "We were going to visit you. You were supposed to be dis-dis-charged?" She narrowed her eyes at Caroline. "That's doesn't sound like a word."
"It is." Caroline automatically rolled her eyes. It was automatic because it was familiar. It was the kind of thing Bonnie said when she was drunk.
Bonnie thinks she nods, but she's not sure her head moved. "And um, we were going to come see you tomorrow. Today. To tell you the carnival was a huge success. But you're a vampire now," she said as a lump formed in her throat. She was going to cry again. The tone of her voice was proof. "It didn't happen to me. It didn't happen to Elena. It was you. Caroline," she whispered before she just couldn't talk anymore. "How does that happen?" she fought to say. "Why?"
Caroline gets off the stool to hug her as Bonnie cries uncontrollably. Bonnie is a sympathy crier by nature, but Caroline is only a sympathy crier when it comes to Bonnie. Maybe because her petite best friend didn't cry often.
She cried because she knew this was tearing Bonnie apart, and she didn't know what to say to her. She still doesn't know the complete story. She cried because she didn't know what was going to happen to her. Was Damon still going to try to kill her? If not, then what would her life be like going forward? She had controlled herself with Matt earlier, but what about when she was with someone who wasn't Matt? She cried because she didn't know what would happen between her and Bonnie. Bonnie doesn't think she's dangerous right now, and she's going to do everything in her power to make sure that doesn't change, but what about everything else? What about when Bonnie sobers up?
They cried and Bonnie clung to Caroline until she was gifted with the loss of consciousness.