Dear Diary,

My name is Kathryn Owen Player, but you can just call me KT. I've lived in Hawaii pretty much my whole life. I'm an varsity swimmer and a freakin' good surfer. That's what my life has revolved around most of my high school years. Education hasn't really been a big thing for me.

Well, that changed dramatically. Four months ago, my parents were killed in a fatal car accident. After shutting myself into a shell of pitiful dispair for four years, my friend's mom has decided to send me off to live with my closest relative who lives on the reservation in La Push, Washington. His name is Sam Uley, and I hardly even know him. His mom was my mom's step sister. Apparently they were very close.

So, for the rest of my two high school years left, I have to spend it on the school reservation with no varsity swim team and a bunch of Indians.

I'm not sure I can handle it. I feel so trapped and angry. I'm not ready to move on yet. I miss them so much. Why did God have to do this to me?

Why do I feel like the world is crashing down on me?


I watched the dark green forest zip by out my window. Unlike Hawaii, this place was mostly dark green forest, rainy days and cloud cover on a pretty much daily basis, and had absolutely no sun. Apart from the fact that this place was known to have some pretty killer surf waves, I knew this place wasn't going to make me very happy. Hawaii was my home, even if it brought pain from my parents accident.

"I know it may not seem like it now, but I'm sure you'll fall in love with this place. It's absolutely beautiful," my caretaker Kristy remarked. My friend's mom was charming and completely pleasant on a 24/7 basis.

"You know, I think you could just take a real quick drive to Canada if you felt like it," she rambled on, obviously trying to cheer me up but failing completely.

We were driving in my dirt jeep, something my parents gave me for my 16th birthday. It didn't have any windows but a plastic attachable roof for when it rained. I guessed I'd have to put it on since it would be raining so much.

I wrapped my arms around my shoulders. Another thing I'd have to get used to; the cold. It almost never got warm here. Now I'm thankful Kristy made me pack tons of sweatshirts and pants - something I wouldn't need in Hawaii.

I sighed.

"Oh look, we just passed the La Push sign. We're almost there!" Kristy giggled quietly to herself, enjoying the new excitement.

"Aren't you at least a little bit excited what your new life is going to bring?" she exclaimed happily.

"I'm overjoyed," I replied sarcastically. She ignored my response.

"Sam's a good kid. I met him. He'll make sure nothing happens to you. Trust me, you'll feel real safe in his presence."

I bit at my lip. That was another thing I was worrying over. I barely even knew Sam, let alone even stayed at his house for two years. Apparently he was getting married to his girlfriend soon. They wanted me to be one of their bridesmaids. I agreed, but, I don't know if I'll actually go.

I've been doing that a lot lately.

We pulled down a dirt road that led to a small red house at the end. She stopped and turned off the jeep. The house looked...charming.

"So Sam will help you with your schedule and getting you going with the school. He said he has some buddies that will help you if you need it. You know, there's a swim team and they could use a good swimmer like you. I took a look at their pool online and it looks nice. The coach seems very happy to have you-"

"Why am doing this?" I interrupted. "I don't want to come here. I want to go back to Hawaii."

She sighed and put her hand on my shoulder. "Honey, I know you do, but you need some change. You can't just keep holing yourself up in your house for the rest of your life. Mourning over your parents isn't going to make things better."

"Kristy, my parents were killed a four years ago. Maybe not to you, but to me, thats still too soon. Plus, I don't even know this guy for the life of me. How do I know I'll be happy with him?"

"K, I know, it's going to be hard. But we're already here. We can't go back now."

I scowled. "Well I can just drive myself back home."

"Oh really? You're going to drive across the ocean? Likely."

"I'll buy a plane ticket and have my car shipped back to Hawaii where we both belong."

She smiled. "And where will you get the money?"

"Your credit card." I pulled the small card out of my pocket and waved it in front of her. The smile left her face and she snatched it out of my hand. I smiled evilly.

"Not funny KT, now you will behave, is that clear? No messing around."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah Kris, I know."

"Here they come. Please put on a least."

I moaned quietly and climbed out of my jeep. There was a honk behind us and Kristy's husband Eric pulled up in the rental car they had to get back home. He jumped out almost as excitedly as Kristy had.

"Welcome KT. We are so glad you could come stay with us," I heard a deep voice say kindly. I turned my head in that direction.

I almost fainted.

Nobody told me my cousin would

He was tall, like really tall, he was very muscular, tan, and had beautiful black hair. I suddenly became jealous that I was not indian like my step - aunt. The girl next to him, was absolutely beautiful. She had long black hair, and the prettiest face I'd ever seen. I wouldn't have noticed there were dark red scars that shattered one side of that beautiful face if she hadn't of tucked her hair behind her ear to reveal everything. I moved my eyes away from her face and pretended not to notice.

"Hello Sam, this is K.T." Kristy said introducing us. I smiled lightly.

"Nice to meet you KT," Sam replied politely, a kind smile spreading across his face.

"It's good to finally meet, my half cousin. I've been so thrilled," I replied sarcastically, a forced smile spreading across my face. He chuckled lightly.

"Please excuse her behavior," Kristy said reassuringly, "it will get better in the next five minutes."

She turned to glare at me then walked to the back of the jeep to get my bag.

"It's ok, I understand," the girl said, a kind mother like expression crossing her face.

Kristy threw my large army bag at my feet. I turned to glare at her.

"The army?" Sam questioned, crossing his arms over his chest.

"No, it dads," I said quickly, picking it up and swinging it over my shoulder.

There was an awkward silence.

"Well, we best be getting going, we want to be home before tomorrow night." Eric put his arm around Kristy's shoulders.

"Ok," Kristy said pulling me into a tight hug so that her back was facing Sam.

"Behave, I mean it," she whispered in my ear and I saw Sam slightly smirk as though he heard it. I kept a stone hard face.

"Well it was good meeting both of you, I'll make sure to keep an extra eye on this one," Sam said polietly and winked at me. I rolled my eyes. Could this get any worse?

"OK, I'll call you when we get to the hotel to see how you're doing. I love you KT. Like a daughter, you know that?" Kristy grabbed my chin and stared me lovingly in the face.

I sighed and mumbled an incoherent yes. She climbed in the car, and they turned around, heading back down the dirt road. I waited till the sound of the car had completely disappeared.

"Finally," I muttered and turned to follow Sam and his finace into their house.

"So your room is going to be down this hall on the right and at the very end."

I followed the pretty girl down the hall and to my new room which was painted a light blue and had a large full bed in the middle with a lime green comforter. There was a desk right next to the bed with a black lamp and several empty picture frames. A large closet lined the wall to my right and long horizontal window let what little light it could into the room. A round rug lay in the middle.

"I hope you like it," she started, "if you don't we can take it back and -"

"No," I interrupted. "It's fine. I really like it. Thanks..."

I looked at her, still unsure of what her name was.

"Emily." She responded and smiled. Well, half smiled.

"Now, we get boys around here a lot, so, just for a heads up." Sam said leaning against the door frame as I started to unpack my things from the bag.

"Boys?" I questioned, turning around to look at him.

"Yeah, this is like, the spot to hang out for me and my buddies. Probably because of Emily's cooking."

Sam looked down at her then, and I suddenly noticed how much love radiated between them. I felt like I was being rude watching them look into each other's eyes so I looked away.

And suddenly, I was jealous. I believed love like that had existed before, I'd just never seen it. Not even from my parents.

Now don't get me wrong, my parents loved each other, but it was a simple love. I didn't see the kind of passion in their eyes like Sam and Emily had.

"If you need anything, we'll either be in the kitchen or the living room," Sam said quietly before shutting the door behind him.

I sighed and sat on the bed. It was then that I noticed I had my own bathroom. Well that was convenient.

Suddenly my phone started to buzz in my pocket. I pulled it out and slid it open.


"Hey KT it's Ray."

"Oh, hey Ray."

It was my best friend. Ray and I had been friends since kindergarten. She and I were practically sisters. Ray was Kristy and Eric's daughter.

"Are you there yet?"

"Well yeah. No dip Ray." I got up and started unpacking my clothes.

"Shut up! So what's it like? Is it pretty?"


"Tell me about it," she said quickly, sensing my hesitantness.

"All it is, is thick green forest, and rainy cold weather. It's nothing like Hawaii."

She scoffed. "Well of course not! Did you expect La Push, Washington to look exactly like Hawaii. I mean really. Maybe you get that out of Florida, but not Washington. You're in the north west, remember?"

"Please don't remind me," I moaned.

"Now you're glad my mom made you pack tons of sweatshirts and pants."

I chuckled. "Yeah, one thing I actually am grateful of."

"So, what's your cousin like? Is he nice? Is his girlfriend a bitch or what?"

"Ray," I groaned.

"Tell me!" She hissed into the phone.

"They are both very nice people. Especially the girlfriend. Why do you think everybody's girlfriend is a bitch?"

One thing that bugged me about Ray, is that she was always sterotyping. It didn't matter if she had never even seen the person. You're either a bitch, or a prude. And if you're wondering, we were considered bitches.

"Because usually hot guy's girlfriend's are bitches. Just saying."

"Wait, how do you even know what he looks like?" I pulled out my five swimsuits and placed in the top drawer of my dresser.

"Because, my mom showed me a picture of him. Girl, it's too bad he doesn't have any brothers!"

"Ok Ray, this conversation is officially over. I'l text you later ok?"

She moaned. "You cut me off right when we get to the good stuff!"

"Goodbye Ray," I growled then hung up.

Shoving my phone in my pocket and went into the bathroom to take my contacts out. They had been killing my eyes. Another thing about me, I was practically blind. Without my glasses I could hardly make out anything. Everything was just a blurry blob.

I slipped on my black glasses and walked back into my room, finishing up my unpacking.

I knew it was dinner time when I smelled the good food. I also knew it was dinner time when I heard a lot of loud voices, probably all the guys Sam was talking about.

I checked myself in the mirror before stepping out of my room and began walking down the hallway to the kitchen and living room.

"Hey! It's Sam's cousin!" A loud voice ricoshayed off the walls. I chuckled lightly.

When I entered and saw all of them huddled in the small room, I almost had an heart attack and died.

They all looked a lot like Sam, tan, dark short cropped hair, muscular, really tall. All I could do was stare.

Suddenly one of them came up to me and picked me up in their arms, squeezing me tight in his unusally hot arms.

The air whooshed out of me as my feet left the ground and I was wrapped in a very warm embrace.

"I can already tell, we are going to be best buddies!" He cried in his deep voice while the other's just laughed.

"Quit it Paul, you're probably freaking her out," one said, tugging him away from me. I laughed awkwardly.

"Just ignore Paul, he does that to every pretty girl he sees." Emily was suddenly behind me, her arm wrapped around me.

"Do not!" he denied, giving me a goofy smile. I laughed.

"Everyone, this is my half cousin, KT. She is apart of our family now and we will treat her with respect," Sam glared at Paul, "and like she is welcome. If you don't, well, you're going to have to speak to me first."

The boys hooted and hollered as Sam went to put Paul in a headlock.

"Boys," Emily muttered and guided me to the kitchen.

I looked at the large proportions of chicken and mashed potatoes. I gawked.

"Jesus, how much do you have to make?"

She laughed. "Enough to make each boy plumb full, which you can probably already notice, it's a lot."

"So do you always make this much food?"

She sighed and whipped the mashed potatoes in the pot. "Yes, most of the time."

"Wow. That's a lot of work. Maybe I could help?"

She smiled. "You know I'd like that. Sam does the best he can, but, I have to say, he's not really that great of a cook."

"Really? That bad?" I whispered.

She giggled and bent over to whisper in my ear. "Yeah, he's terrible."

Sam cleared his throat in the other room and some of the boys laughed.

"Dinner time!" Emily suddenly chimed, handing me the plates to put around the table.

As I was, each boy introduced himself. It went in order, it was Paul, Jared, Quil, Seth, Leah, and Jacob, who could hardly be heard over the other rowdy boys. He interested me most.

He had dark circles under his eyes and he seemed lost in his own world. It reminded me a lot of what I must have looked like after my parents died.

"Embry's not here," Quil snickered, "he got grounded again."

Jared chuckled. "Embry's always sneaking out."

He wiggled his eyebrows as he explained why. I rolled my eyes and sat down at my spot around the table. The large bowl of mashed potatoes was already pretty much empty and there were only two pieces of chicken left. I grabbed them.

"So you surf and swim?" Paul questioned. Leaning forward. My heart fluttered slightly.

"Yeah," I said mehanically. So many people had asked me that same question.

"Are you good at it?"

Leah scoffed. "Well let's use some common sense Paul, if she's from Hawaii and she has two surf boards in her jeep, you think she's pretty good?"

I smiled at her. "Yeah, I guess you could say I'm pretty good."

"Well duh, with a body like that..." Jared eyed me up and down and I could feel my cheeks flush red.

"Stop it," Emily scolded as she walked in and slapped him on the arm.

"My bad," he grumbled and went back to eating his food.

For the rest of the night, it was constant chatter that some of the time ended up being in the gutter, but it was still funny.

But what intruiged me most, was Jacob. He seemed so lost and helpless, like he had experienced similar pain to mine. Besides that fact that he actually ate all of his food, he acted in almost the same way I had when my parents died. It was like he was here, but his mind wasn't. It was somewhere far else.

"Well, it's time to kick everybody out. KT has school tomorrow bright and early," Sam ordered and without hesitation, everyone got up and started to head out.

"Bye KT!" Leah called from behind her and so did a few others, including Paul.

"I still think she has a nice body though," I heard Jared mutter as the screen door shut silently behind him.

I sighed and helped Emily clean up the dishes.

"Hey, KT, it's ok, I've got them. You go take a shower and head to bed. You look exhausted. You need your sleep for tomorrow."

"Really?" I asked Emily, who was leaning against the counter. She smiled and nodded.

"Go KT. I'm serious."

"Ok, goodnight Em."

"Night KT."

I walked quietly back to my room.

Dear diary,

So, it's not as bad as I thought. Sam's really nice, and well, really hot. Haha. Who knew? I already know Emily and I will get along good. She's a really nice person, and I actually enjoy her chipper attitude, unlike Kristy's.

It's cold here, and I miss the warmth.

Oh, something odd, all the guys that came over here today, including, Sam, feel like they all have a seriously high temperature. I asked Quil if he was feeling ok, and why he was so warm, but he just said they all had the same genetic disease that made them that way. Odd, right?

Yeah, and Sam wasn't kidding when he said Emily's cooking was good. Man you don't even know. I could eat that stuff in heaven if it was there. That food was freakin delish!

Well, it's eleven o'clock. I have to get up early in the morning for school :( ugh.


p.s. I'm still wondering what's wrong with Jacob?