Five days later I began to loose my hair.
I had been preparing myself for when this would happen, but somewhere inside me still hoped I was one of the rare few that actually got to keep their hair. I had no idea how hard of a slap in the face it would give me. I loved my long blonde-white hair and giving it up was not easy.
I had been in the shower when it happened. I had felt dirty and tired after a long day of driving around with Embry, looking at the scenery. I was running my fingers through my hair as the shampoo was being washed out, when I heard a loud splat on the bathtub floor. My fingers had hair covering them as I brought my hands forward to evaluate what happened. I looked down at the drain and saw a big clump of hair clogging it.
Reaching back slowly I had touched the spot where the hair had been and all I could feel was the skin on my head.
I lost it.
I crumpled to the ground, curling myself into a tight ball as I leaned against the edge of the tub. The shower water splashed over me and washed away the tears that ran down my face. Heart racking sobs cracked through my chest and I had realized for the first time I really did have cancer. It was so real.
Eventually Embry had gotten worried and knocked on the bathroom door, letting himself in after hearing no response. He saw me curled in the tub and was immediately at my side. He reached his long arm over and turned off the water, getting himself wet at the same time.
"Hey, hey baby it's ok," he whispered but then froze when he saw the hair clump lying there like a dead animal in the tub.
This only made me cry harder.
He didn't say anything. Instead he grabbed my towel from the rack and wrapped it around my shivering, naked body. Very carefully he lifted me from the tub and tucked me into his arms, never saying a word. He had then lowered himself to the ground and sat with his back up against the side of the tub, cradling me in his arms and kissing my warm, wet hair over and over again.
I don't know how long we sat there, me crying and him rocking and kissing me, but eventually he had gotten up and carried me over to the bed, laying me down and setting a pile of clothes next to me before leaving the room in silence. I had changed into my pajamas and gone right to bed, falling into a sleep plagued of horrors and nightmares.
But here I am now, sitting on the front porch, watching the sunset, a knit-cap over my bald head, a glass of tea in my hand, and a warm smile spread across my face. It had been a seven months since my hair loss experience. My chemo was over and my cancer had hid itself into remission. I was halfway through my senior year of high school and people actually began to like me. Maybe they just felt bad for me, but being a white girl in a native-american school was as difficult as it got. So having people be nice to me helped so much.
All in all I can say that my chemo months went by surprisingly well. Of course there were the moments of sorrow and pain, but we were able to pull through. Embry never left my side through the whole thing. He stayed stronger and never cried in front of me once- at least when he didn't think I was awake. Sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night and hear his soft sobs beside me, but in the morning he would act like he always is; happy and content.
Emily and Sam were probably the biggest blessing in my life. I wasn't even their daughter, or even related to them by blood, but they took care of me and acted as if I was one of their own. They were like a second set of parents to me, and I will never ever in my entire life be able to thank them enough for what they had done for me.
"Mind if I come watch the sunset with you?" Embry asks as he sits down in the porch swing next to me, wrapping his arms around me.
"Of course not."
He runs his long finger down the side of my cheek. "I'm glad to see the color back in your cheeks."
I turn my face towards him, my eyes closing. "I'm glad to see you've noticed."
"I notice everything about you KT. I love you."
I open my eyes just enough so that I can see where his lips are and I kiss him.
"I love you too."
He pulls back and hugs me closer to him. His heat feels good against my cool skin.
"What if I told you I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you?" he says casually, tracing circles on my bare arm.
I shiver at his touch and take a small sip of my tea. It's hot on my throat and it feels amazingly good.
"I don't know... I'd have to think about it."
His finger freezes on my arm and I can feel his gaze fixed on my face. But I cannot keep a straight face. A smile cracks on my lips and laughter bubbles in my throat. As soon as he sees this, he relaxes, a smile playing on his lips as well.
He gives me a light nudge. "You're cruel."
I smile, sighing as I look down at my tea.
"I'm serious though."
I take my hand and lace it with his, his warmth against my cool. "I would love to spend the rest of my life with you, Embry."
He smiles like a little kid on christmas and kisses me like he means it before leaning back and rocking in the swing with me, watching the sun set behind the tall trees.
Who know's what's in my future? But for now, I was with the man I love, living with a family I love, and healing from my past, aching to continue the rest of my life with the people that made me stronger.
Time passes and things come and go. This will be my first, and last entry in a while. My life is beyond perfect. I have two beautiful children, Oliver and Olivia Call, who are now all grown up with family's of their own. Embry became a doctor and still is at the local hospital. I've always been a stay at home mom where I was able to do things I don't believe I ever dreamed of doing. I took up sewing, much to my displeasure, but it made Emily happy so I gave in. I still remember the first time I held her first born son in my arms. He was so small and so beautiful that I cried for days. I wanted one of my own and I was blessed with two of them.
I started up a blog about my experience with cancer and much to my pleasure made many new friends as I helped them with their problems and blessings through their cancer experience. I gave up swimming after I graduating but I've never stopped riding the waves. I make sure to visit Ray and Matt as much as I can, but I'm getting old and planes rides make me terribly sick.
As for everything else, there's not a lot I can say. Tragedy plagued my childhood so maybe having a solid and wonderful family as an adult was the consequence I was glad to have. It's a few days till my 80th birthday. I can't wait. I'll miss this diary. Maybe I'll have it buried with me?
Yours truly and forever,
Kathryn Owen Player-Call
Thank you to all my followers on this story. It makes me sad that it has finally come to an end! I love all you guys! Hope your lives are a blessed one! Thank you again! (: Please check out my other stories if you enjoyed this one!