Hey! This is my FIRST fanfic ever, so go easy on me. Its a story about Filiz, and how i think she feels. i think we are alike in so many ways, so i tried to reveal the "Dark" side of her life... Enjoy! ^_^


If only they knew...

Her eyes was covered by her shaking hands, and her red hair was wet of rain.

If only those bastards knew!...

A loud sob escaped her mouth. Well, that didn't really matter; she was home alone. But for some reason, Filiz was embarrased of crying, even if she was all by herself. It hadn't allways been like that; In middle school, she was the big crybaby, with no comfidence. She cried in every single recess. Mostly because no-one noticed her, and she had no friends.

What did I ever do to them?

it wasn't just friends that was a problem; From fourth to seventh grade she had a crush on a guy from her class. He was populair, he was handsome, and he was smart. What more could you wish for? Off cause, Filiz was way too shy to even talk to him, but she adored him in a long distance. One day, at one of her classmates birthday party, he walked straight up to her and asked her if she would be his girlfriend. She said yes immidiatley. Big mistake. It was the first of April, but Filiz had forgotten all about the date of the day, when he popped the question. As soon as she stammered through her yes, his friends jumped out, and yelled with him: "APRIL FOOLS, CRYBABY!" And Filiz ran away, as she dropped her face, and her heart.

It's just not fair!...

The curdins was covering all of the windows, so that no light could escape. She looked down her clothes; Today, it was a purple skirt with ribbons forming x's, and laces in the bottom, a black corset over a purple t-shirt, and a laced headband on her red logs.

Why? Why go through this hell everyday? Is it worth it? But... I have to; If I don't dress like this i'll just become invisible again! No! NEVER!

Her inner voice panicked, as she grabbed her waist. She felt nocius. When she started high school she decided to put the whole weiner image away. She started reading manga, cosplaying and other stuff. To start of she didn't even like it. It was too violent, too perverted, too... Weird. But at least people noticed her... As the months went by, she learned to love those animes and mangas, but she allways had this heavy feeling inside. As if she was living a lie. A big fat lie, and she actually felt sorry for the mangas she read, and pretended to love so much.

So this is how it feels... Having your whole world collapse in front of you?

She grabbed one of her laced umbrellas.

Stupid, stupid umbrella! Making me so fucked up weird! GRRR!

She threw it at the wall in pure anger, and the tears forced themself out of her red eyes again. Why couldn't she just be normal? Why did she have to get caught up in this spiral of weirdness? She could never wear normal clothes; She tried it out once, and everyone treated her like she was deadly sick. A knock on the door tore Filiz out of her dark thoughts, and she opened the front door with a slow, empty moove.
"Hey, Filiz! That clothes you said i could borrow...?"
Anya... The only person as weird as me...

"Hey... Did you cry? Seriously, you ok?"

Anya forced herself into the house, and put her arms around the redhead, who couldn't hold back the pain anymore. The tears and words bursted out of her, but inside she was smiling.

But... At least... Now i have friends... Maybe it isn't so horrible after all...?