A/N: After an 18 hour anime marathon I gained inspiration to do a fan fiction for this anime. I'm not very good with this character, at least I don't think, but I wanted to give it a try. I don't see this to be more than a one shot.
I do not own Strawberry Panic
She told me to guard her heart. She begged me to protect her soul after the girl of her dreams passed on. I believed then, truly, that her heart would turn to ice, fated never to be capable of the gift to thaw. Forever encased in a crimson winter veiled by eyes of forest green deception. My heart was much the same, lost, never to be redeemed. She had once been a beautiful woman. She did as she wished, smiled as she pleased. She glistened in the morning light, sang like an angel as if she had visited the heavens. She could spread her wings and fly, just like a bird.
Birds…we are all birds.
We are called birds trapped in a cage, never to be let free from our shackles. Whispers of this roams through the halls as young maidens of Minator fall victim to their futures. Arranged marriages doom us forever to be women of the wealthy. Instead of only scholastic endeavors, we learn how to be prim and proper also. We do not speak out of line; we do not act without order. It is nothing more but a sick and twisted life we may never succeed in breaking free of.
We envy those of Spica. They are not free birds, not by a long shot. They are tamed, well groomed, and able to choose a life of their own. Flying with recourse to action, they are able to have guilty pleasures those like myself do not. They have a leash they are tied too, able to breathe, able to fly. Only requested to fly back home if they wish. They are obedient creatures who are yet never forced. In no way do they know what it is like to keep quiet. Never would they be forced into spiteful choices that cause others to mourn. Spica is a haven…for those like me, caged and unable to fly…we would give our own lives for just one breath of fresh air.
Air…a girl name Kaori got that gift…flight of freedom…she was gifted this before her death.
Shizuma gave her that air. In return her shackled were broken, if only for a short time, and she was happy. I was too. We were gifted a leash, a way to fly for only a moment, a way to smile. The difference therein would be this; I would have had to be dragged back to my cage…and I was, tortuously slowly. I watched her crumble, and slowly die. Kaori shared the air she got, but the price was heavy.
She was gone and no longer were we placed in an enclosure worthy of a winged animal. Out feather with plucked away, one by one, our souls were shattered as we were placed in a dark room. A room filled with joy, a room filled with memories. The church, once a place of solace, offered nothing more than a salty stream of tears. Flowers once so vibrant became nothing more than a wish, a recollection of when we used to be happy.
Once again, we envied others their position.
If we could not hate Spica for their leash, we could envy Lulim their total freedom. The girls there had no idea of the great pains we of Minator must overcome. Never do these girls suffer negligence when they cry their tears. All they must do is merely ask and they shall receive instantly the cup to drink from, the bread to sample, and the heavens in which to fly. They will never be tied down, never caged. Only one girl could possibly be such a person. This girl was not one of us.
Nagisa was not cadged. She did freely what Shizuma and I could only wish. She smiled without reason, cried without reservation, and ran without inhibitions. She question what I would not, defied what I dared not, and chased what I could not. The heart of the woman cadged in ice. Her feather's molted and damaged. She was a soul who would not sing, a being unable to feel, forever frozen within a lonely life. Love had treated her poorly, and the sky taunted her with a light she could not reach. I could not reach this light either. All I could do was protect the door.
This girl sought the key and I gave her the path. Shizuma was freed and she could fly once again. I deeply wish to fly too, but there is no retribution for me. I'm a woman encased in ice, my feathers are wilted, my legs hurt from dragging my heavy weight, and I dearly wish I could be free, if only to see the sunlight one more time. These wishes are all well and good, but no one will come for me, and I will soon be out of birdseed, quickly out of water. My time will come then; I will be moved into a new home.
It will be bigger, I will be forced to marry, and I will be granted a house lavished with riches. I will be forced to be a wife, a mother. It will not be out of love, it will not be out of choice. I am a woman, not a bird despite what people may think…but…my reality is mine and mine alone. A cage is still a cage, and I do not seek an owner. I wish to be happy and find a mate. I wish to fly freely, and I find myself asking, is that really so much to ask?
Birds…I wish I could really be one…
I hope you liked it. I've always liked Miyuki and wanted to do this for her. Please leave a review.