Hey everyone *waves*, long time no write. I can't remember the last time I posted a fic, but I am still writing at all times. I've got quite a few fics in the works, but I'm aiming not to post any until their complete. Had to break that rule with this one, it's only half way (but currently 20,000 words so going well) I hope everyone likes this. It's a little different for me. Bit more romance less raunchy...but the NC-17 will still be in there, cos, well...it's me :P. I am working on all my fandoms including two new ones. Harry Potter – Snape/Hermione and Damages – Patty/Ellen, so hopefully I'll get those fics done some day too. I'm sorry I'm so useless up updates. I will finish everything though eventually.
Beta: peetsden - Thank you so much for going over this. *gives you plate of cookies* A perfect combination of constructive criticism and confidence boosters :). I'm one grateful bunny!
This story is for the Lj Barren Fic Exchange.
Prompt: My prompt is from thespian88:)
-"I really really would love to see a crossover of DWP and The Bridges of Madison County I know it probably seems impossible but I think it could work with Mirandy, just y'know the general theme of 'we cant be together even though I will never love anyone again the way I love you.'-
Well I've attempted to make the probably impossible possible :) …let's see how it goes lol. I'm following the Bridges storyline very loosely, but I've really mixed it up with my own ideas. It's based in England and the 21st century, so I can only hope this is ok! And I hope you like it.
Big thanks to worst_liar_ever for arranging all this. I've been dying for some more fiction lol. Now i'm a happy crumpet. :D
Flitt x (a.k.a Scarlett)
Disclaimer:- Throwing one in. Not mine, the DWP characters, the Bridges storyline ect. No money, just fun.
Lets begin :)
Once in a Lifetime - Prologue
05/20/2008 – 10.43pm
We've left. I'm sat on the plane watching the bright lights of New York City slowly fade, dying into the night. I should be excited, I have Nate by my side and my future holds many mysteries yet to be discovered. My heart isn't listening. Each beat becomes more painful with every passing mile; as I fly further and further away from the only piece of land I ever called home. I wasn't born there, it holds no history, the memories are fresh within my mind, and the man I made them with is here. We set out on this new adventure together, but somehow, I know this is wrong. Maybe I'm afraid of change, maybe I'm nervous about the unknown, or maybe, my love for this city surpassed anything or anyone else many months ago.
It doesn't matter now. To Nate I don't believe it ever did. All my reservations and fears were batted aside in the face of his future. His, not mine, I'm just here for the ride. Part of me is wondering why I left, the other is reminding me I love him, loved him, once. I was so happy when he got this job, a new start on the other side of the ocean. As I realised what I had to leave behind, the elation melted away. By that time everything was in motion and moving faster than I could control.
I had plans for the future, dreams and aspirations, but they always evolved in the same place. Without that piece of the puzzle nothing fits quite right anymore. These doubts are doing me no good. I can have this life anywhere in the world. I will fall for Britain's beauty; be blinded by its serenity and culture, and come to love the hills as much as I love the lights. I cling to this hope because it's all I have.
The words of everyone still echo in my head. They all believe I'm doing the right thing. Nate and I are two lovers setting off on the journey of a lifetime and living the dream. At one point I even convinced myself, but as I sit here, staring at the scruffy man whose smile used to fill me with warmth I can't help but feel the icy sting of resentment. Everyone believes him to be my dream, my future. I just fear in the coming months, my resentment will contaminate everything that's ever existed between us, and the man I always thought I'd love forever, will be the one I blame for making this mistake.
The wind roared ripping a halo of red hair over a woman's eyes, attempting to tug ink stained pages into its invisible grasp. Her eyes streamed; the chill tearing tears from her eyes. Slamming her hand down, she shut her eyes against the onslaught of sharp strands whipping in her face. She stilled, holding this pose while she waited for the wind to calm and return its act to an innocent breeze.
'Cass, what are you looking at?' Cassidy turned to see her sister stalking up to her.
Lifting her hand she waved a little book in Caroline's direction, grinning as her sister's eyes widened.
'You brought it with you?' Caroline came to stand by Cassidy's side, casting a critical glance at the ground.
'Oh sit down,'
Rolling her eyes Caroline took her jacket off, shaking it out before flopping down in her Bill Blass pants, 'Some of us take concern with our clothing.'
'You are so like mum,'
'And you're not.'
'My working environment doesn't agree with Chanel and Prada. I need to be able to dive down on the ground without worrying I'm going to rip my jeans.'
'Cassidy you're not meant to be rolling around on the ground, not at your age anyway.'
'Need I remind you, we're the same age?'
'Ah, but do we look it? Living in a stressful job it's taking its toll on you sis.'
'Thanks Caro, you know how to make a girl feel good.'
'You're welcome,' Caroline ignored the narrowed eyes, continuing with the conversation, 'So why have you been rolling around on the ground?'
'Unfortunately being a member of the police isn't a concern for criminals. They still kill you if they can. We're enemy number one, so some ducking and diving is required.'
'That and a really big gun,'
'Caro,' Cassidy nudged her sister, a small smile curling in the corner of her lips.
'The world of police work sounds wonderful. Daring, dangerous, and drowned under paper work.'
Cassidy snorted, 'Too true, speaking of daring and dangerous, how's the world of fashion?'
'Unfashionable, some of the eyesores I've seen this week. Mum would have got a repetitive strain injury from pursing her lips so often.' Caroline sighed, feeling weary after the week she'd had.
'The models still baying for blood?'
'Baying for a biscuit, anything to take the hunger ache away, it's like trying to herd a bunch of harpies. A shoot went to total waste this week. A digital camera got too close to a magnetic field and wiped every single shot.'
'Most certainly, he's lucky he left my office alive. All that money and now it's up to me to justify the extra expense, my least favourite job in the world.'
'Mum's too, she avoided it at all costs.'
Caroline smiled, 'Yeah, Irv used to hunt for her all over the office. She always managed to escape unscathed.'
'A talent neither of us ever acquired.'
'You not had a good week either?'
'Court case ended up with an unfavourable verdict, not enough evidence to convict, so.' Cassidy shrugged.
'Without a doubt,'
'Sounds like we both needed a break,'
With a subtle nod and a sigh Cassidy leant into her sister's side. 'It's beautiful up here.'
Caroline looked out over the view, watching the barren trees sway with the wind, their branches bent into submission. Clouds scurried across the sky, tinged by the golden sunlight sinking bleeding behind the hills, pink, orange, yellow, pulled apart by the night. Darkness would soon settle in, but the sunset was a sight to see.
'You think she'd be proud?' Caroline continued to look out over the view as she spoke. Her mind casting back, memories formed over 45 years flashing behind her eyes.
'Who?' Cassidy's warmth seared into her shoulder, Caroline could hear her breathing. She smiled, as always happy to have someone to share this with. Through all their difficulties they'd stuck by one another's side.
'Mum, proud of us, our careers, our families. The choices we've made.'
Cassidy remained silent, pausing to think it over before answering, 'I think Mum would be proud of us whatever we did, she loved us for us.'
Tears pricked in the corners of Caroline's eyes, 'Yeah, she did.'
Hearing a crackle, Caroline looked down in time to see her sister flicking through the book, trying to pin the pages down.
'You shouldn't even have it up here?' her sister remained silent, eyes averted pretending she hadn't heard Caroline's comment, 'I thought we were going to go though it together,
'I couldn't resist. I know I shouldn't have it up here, but it just seemed the perfect place to read it.'
'As impatient as ever, some things never change.'
Cassidy nudged her sister, 'Like you being the party pooper of this partnership. For once will you play along?'
Caroline laughed, shaking her head, 'Fine, but only for you. How much you read already?'
'Not a lot, Andy's only just moved from America.'
'To England, why did she leave?'
'Was she?' Caroline drew her knees to her chest, shivering in the wind, trying to retain her warmth as she watched her sister.
Cassidy flicked through the pages, 'Was she what?'
'Doesn't look like it, but it's an easy mistake to make isn't it? You never know until it's gone.'
Caroline eyed her sister, mouth parting before falling shut, 'Let's have a look.'
Two pairs of eyes descended, darting over the open page. Silence settled between them, each comforted by the others presence as they read over a history they'd never heard.
Evidence of tears still lingered, crinkled paper left after they'd long dried. Random ripples of blurred words splattered Andy's entry, as spirals of ink faded out swallowed up by the emotion that stained the page.
06/05/2008 – 1.27am
I shouldn't be writing, it's late, and the tiredness is burning behind my eyes. Sleep isn't a welcome relief any more, my mind plagued with the poisonous dreams of another land, anywhere but here. Skyscrapers kissing the sky, the concrete beneath my feet as I climb high, gazing out over the city lights twinkling far into the horizon. The sound of the city echoes in my head, a tainted torture as I think over the hustle and bustle of city life. It's another world, one that never sleeps. You're never alone in the city. There's always someone, a friend, a stranger, brushing shoulders with you at every opportunity.
Just gazing out the window you see a world of wonders, hundreds of humans each with a story to tell. Laughing children wriggling as they reluctantly hold the hands of their parents. Adults, some suited, others in jeans, speaking to their friends, or family, mouth pressed to their mobile as they weave hurriedly though the waves of tourists and traffic. Cars and bikes battle in the street, the sound of chattering skipping along the wind. The symphony of life, orchestrated every day. The moment my eyes open the music dies, happiness and hope choking with it as my reality sinks in with the silence. The wind's my only comfort now, often partnered with the rain thrashing against the window pane. This is my life. Many days can pass without seeing anyone, not hearing a single sound beyond my own breathing. It's empty. Under the shroud of darkness, the stifling silence, the world sleeps. I'm alone. No comforting companionship from the sounds of the sidewalk. It's like I'm the only one awake, as the country rests, untroubled.
Nate is home for the night. He crawls in at the early hours of the morning after his shift finally finished. His only longing is a night's sleep. Barely a few words pass between us before his head hits the pillow, leaving me to my solitary silence. The wind cloaks the sound of my tears, each droplet forcing its way out against my will. I don't want to cry, I hate myself for it, but it's my only release, a way of easing the ache that quivers in my chest. I would never wish to wake him, never want him to witness me like this. He'd question me, and I have no answers. Except, honestly in my heart, I have answers, but none he'd wish to hear. So for another night, I sit here and let my heart silently die in the hope he'll be happy. I'll keep trying; keep fighting to find a friend. I've tried to talk to the locals, but they're few and far between and it's a pretty close community. I don't fit. I miss my friends and family. They call once a week, but it's not enough. They tell me about everything they're up to, and it all sounds so exciting, and I'm here. This isn't my home. And…it never will be.
Cassidy turned the page, quickly scanning intermittent entries.
06/10/2008 – 8.32pm
I went for a walk today, escaping my four walls. A mental coffin keeping me buried beneath my thoughts and fears. I needed to feel the wind against my skin, exercise my mind and clear out all the concerns that lingered like cobwebs. I walked to the hill, along the rocky path before recklessly wandering off. My feet fought to form a new trail, one un-trodden by tourists. As the sunlight danced through the trees, a warm antithesis to the cool wind stinging my skin, I ran. My hands brushed over tree bark, as I wove through the forest, finally rushing into the fields. The long grass tickled my legs. I remember dandelions exploding beneath my feet, their fairy heads racing along with me, whipped up in my wake. It was beautiful. As my breath finally failed, my legs gave way. I willingly collapsed on the hillside. I didn't care about the dirt, laughing as I rolled to my back, eyes wide as I gazed into the sky. Clouds flurried by, funny shapes always morphing into something new and equally unexpected. I felt free.
I don't know how long I laid there. No one walked by. I just listened to the birds, the wind rustling in the trees, and a song slowly unravelled around me. Nature is so much more subtle than the city, but it has its own sound. While this part of the world will never be my home, today, I honestly felt an affinity for it. Only the hill, not with the curvy country lanes, or the little houses that squat along the road side, but the open wildness, untamed. It ran free, as free as I wish to be.
I'm home now, back within my four walls facing another late night on my own. It'll be a meal for one in front of the TV while I wait for Nate's imminent arrival. During the month we've become separate entities living under one roof. I should mourn this more than I do, but I've accepted it, hoping for the day when I can walk away. I don't have enough money to head back home, no flat, no job, nothing. I would never ask my parents. They'd only view my return as a disappointment, another opportunity I've tossed aside. They see the dream. This isn't a dream for me. I will make my way, return to my roots. I laid them in New York, and I truly believe they'll never leave.
06/19/2008 – 6.56pm
I've made some friends, well if you could call them that. Acquaintances would be closer to the truth, but they provide the required companionship. It gets me out the house. I listen to their tales of this little village, all the historic stories and tawdry details. It gets quite fascinating when you can put a face to the name. There's probably a book in this place. All the badly kept secrets, poured onto a couple of hundred pages. It keeps my interviewing skills pretty sharp. I'm good at getting information, and even now that gives me a little thrill. I've been scribbling it all down, not wishing to miss a single detail. It's a project I can play with, something to write, something for me. I'm no longer wasting away here; I have a purpose. My ultimate aim will always be to go home, but until then I refuse to fall into a well of despair.
Nate doesn't know. I haven't mentioned it to him and he hasn't shown any interest in what I'm writing. It was never his thing, and my dreams and aspirations don't concern him. I doubt they ever did. It doesn't matter now. I head up to the hill every other day and bury my head in this book, scribble my thoughts down before delving into the details of the new family affair I've uncovered. By the time I depart from here I'll have every little secret stored away to work with. Whether I write it is another matter entirely, but it's an aim, and right now it's all I have.
The loneliness still creeps in at times, plagues away at my mind at night but its power weakens with every passing day. I've accepted life a little more, and I'm learning to appreciate the simple joys it can provide. I can see the sun now, hovering on the horizon no longer broken by the buildings. Tree roots roam freely, untamed by sidewalks. Everyone says hello and everyone knows your name. Nothing is your own here, everyone knows every little detail, digging deeper until they uncover everything you've kept hidden. The local's question me constantly. They're determined to know their new neighbour, the American girl with the rugged, rather absent, boyfriend. Talks of Nate get a little tiring; half of me doesn't wish to admit it's over. The other half is eager to walk away. I watch him at night, curled in the covers leaving me open to the cold, and just feel emptiness. The love that blossomed in my heart has wilted, leaving a cold cavern free to be filled. But for now I'm not looking for love, I'm looking for life. And when the discussions get too deep, too invasive, too honest, the hill will always be my escape. Not a home, but a shelter, something all my own.
Cassidy flicked ahead, turning many pages, desperately hunting for what they both wished to read. Finally her fingers settled, eyes zeroing in on the information that had long eluded them. The story her and her sister had long wished to hear.
06/29/2008 – 11.05pm
I met someone today…
-SS-Thanks for reading, would love your comments. I haven't had any in my inbox for quite some time...I miss them :).