First thought: There has to be a reason. An excuse. Something. True, he and Takuya had known one another since the Digital World, though admittedly the friendship had always been a strangely close yet rocky one. Even in the middle of the fight, the two could call a temporary truce if one needed the other, only to resume the argument once the crises passed. He could still remember the time Takuya snuck into his room at night, wanting to see if he was all right because Kouichi had mentioned to the brunette that his twin had gotten into a rather nasty fight with his father. Once verifying that yes, Kouji was fine, the next day the goggle head and ex-loner were once more at each other's throat over the same argument - as if Kouji and his father had never fought. An odd reassurance, if nothing else. The whole bizarre friendship was also the best he had, because there was no end to the list of times Takuya came through for him even when the two disagreed which came first, the Digimon or the DigiEgg (a stupid fight from years ago that since then had become an inside joke for the two).
Why, Kouji could even remember some occasions in which he dropped everything to ensure his friend was all right during a fight. The biggest, perhaps most defining for their friendship: when he had asked Takuya to watch his dog because he was going on vacation with his parents, and during a thunderstorm the animal ran off frightened. Even then, he knew it was not the brunette's fault his beloved pet ran away in fright. Yet he was angry - he had the animal for years, and the loss was only eased by anger and blame. He was sure he would have lashed at anyone who had watched the dog and lost him, been unable to find him after losing him, except save his mother and Kouichi. The only reason he hadn't asked them? They were joining in the trip.
Two months later, the two still weren't speaking. Most of the others in their close group - Izumi, Junpei, Tomoki, and Kouichi wondered if the hard-won friendship had been lost. Seemingly as if to test this, Izumi announced she would be leaving for a trip to Italy. To anyone who did not know the story, this would have initially seemed a silly threat. However, it was during this time she and Takuya had been dating - about two years after they started, in fact. Puppy love, really. The two had started shortly after their return from the Digital World. Even Kouji knew how much the brunette trailed after the blonde, like some kind of love-struck idiot (even after the two broke-up though, Takuya remained an idiot. Just not so much a love-struck one). As if against his will, he found himself at the brunette's locker one day, asking if he was going to be all right.
Junpei had been there with him, babbling about some kind of ridiculous magic trick when he saw Kouji approach, and that was the only time the ravenette had seen his older friend shut up so quickly. He had not thought himself to look threatening, but according the group he always had this perpetually glaring expression. Whenever he looked in the mirror, Kouji personally thought himself to look more apathetic than as if he was going to rip someone's throat out, but perhaps that was because he was staring at his own face with his own eyes. When the words left his mouth, the question he would not have imagined himself asking the brunette even a week ago, Junpei gaped. On his opposite, Takuya simply stared with wide eyes before offering the goofiest grin a human face could naturally make before nodding his head yes. Now, he was pretty sure he was going to be fine.
Kouji rolled his eyes at the remainder of that ridiculous tale, when everyone found out Izumi had been bluffing. Even when Takuya yelled at her, calling her insensitive and mean she just laughed while patting him on the head like her good little puppy love. Not even Kouji's yelling could dissipate her good mood - her theory had been proven right, the goggle head and ex-loner were friends once more, and her Takuya was happy. What more did she need? Speaking of those two when they were together… most vomit-worthy memories of his life. Not due to jealousy, no. Takuya had a grand total of one girlfriend (Izumi) for four years, while Kouji had two for separate lengths of time. Izumi was not his type, and during six months of their relationship the ravenette had a girlfriend of his own - both couples were happy, he had nothing to feel envious over.
No, the two were vomit-worthy to most anyone that saw the two. Of course, Junpei and Kouichi's reason to vomit over the two were drastically different from Tomoki and Kouji's. Junpei was still head-over-heels for Izumi, and surprisingly so was Kouichi (honestly, Kouji never saw what those three saw in her, really. True, she was a nice girl and she was pretty but… she had always just been a great friend in his eyes). On the other hand, Kouji felt Tomoki put it best, "Those two are just so growdy together, with their kissing and their hugging and their pet names and their flowers… don't you think so?" The day he heard 'My Hot Muffin,' he had never agreed with anything else more.
Even life ultimately thought their relationship was too sickening. After four long years, that young couple ended up being similar to that of many other young couples. At least the break-up was not messy - in fact, one of the cleanest Kouji had witnessed. The two had simply begun to see one another as mere friends again, and even much of their hand-holding ways had become equally platonic. Suddenly, the two had more fun jokingly flirting with one another than seriously. Mutually, they agreed to just be friends and remained that way since (it almost went without mentioning that Junpei and Kouichi tripped over themselves trying to swoop in and win the blonde's heart the second she was no longer attached to the brunette at the hip).
Hanging out at the other end of the spectrum was Kouji and his girlfriends. The first one was during the third-year mark of Izumi and Takuya's relationship. The girl had been a challenge, a very pretty and very devious challenge. Briefly, Kouji wondered if she was the excuse. The reason to blame for why he and Takuya… why that even happened last night. He did always enjoy a challenge, making attempts and passes at the seemingly impossible - it was even more fun if he had to try and do it on his own. In part that was exactly what made her alluring - in the end, he had to have won her heart on his own or else that meant someone else got a little piece of it.
Ironically, she felt the same about him - the two played hard to get with one another, without either ever realizing that they were. Two dancers performing the exact same steps, each whirling with the same grace and frequency all while becoming frustrated that no matter how fluid or intricate the movements both maintained the status of a loser. No prizes were given, because no winner could be decided. A draw. Then... One tripped, made a mistake. Her. The second the two stopped mirroring one another, suddenly both became winners, if only temporarily. She had been a challenge, and Kouji's male ego still quietly whispered he was the one who came out completely on top - he won, and he made no mistakes.
Again, their relationship only lasted around six months. Kouji quickly learned that most of the challenge that was her was that she equally loved a challenge herself. The majority of the relationship consisted of maintaining the other's attention, a challenge that in itself became wearisome and repetitive. Once more, she was the one who broke first. She wanted a new challenge: his name was Takuya, and it was entirely because he was already in a relationship. The girl had already succeeded with Kouji - she broke up with him simply to move on to another round with a new opponent. Already tired of trying to keep her interest, the fact she broke up with him was not what bothered him - her reasons were why.
The girl gave up quickly. This was how the world learned that when it came to boyfriends, Izumi had a short temper, fast hands, and a possessive streak a mile wide. Takuya, ever the gentleman, would never hit a girl even if she was sexually harassing him. Izumi, on the other hand, was not a man and only gentle with her man… well, Kouji's ex quickly learned that not all challenges were worth it, and from that day forward the group had a greater appreciation for the blonde. Also, a small undercurrent of fear. Most men thought of cat fights as being sexy, even arousing. The males in the school hallway that day found that particular one to be terrifying.
No, his first girlfriend was not the reason, and certainly not an excuse. The two had formed a tumultuous love-hate acquaintance. They only met for one reason, and one reason alone - and outside of taking care of hormonal teenage needs, there was nothing else between the two. There were a lot of things she was not to him - and hardly any that she was. Definitely not the cause, the excuse… Kouji took in a deep breath, before blowing it out. Mango. His mom really should be more considerate of the men in her household. Scented shampoos and conditioners just aren't masculine… The brunette had mentioning taking a shower yesterday. Explained the smell.
Perhaps his second girlfriend. The two started dating about two years after his break-up with his first, but the development and birth of their relationship was drastically different. Her name was Yoko. She was a quiet girl, but when she did speak her words were soft yet charismatic. When he first heard her read her essay in class, Kouji realized he could have listened to her all day. Each word was carefully placed; every sentence constructed and designed to complement the next, before building the entire story into a perfectly fitting whole. She made words into art like no other. When talking to her, he found her speech was just as eloquent and well-executed as her writing. Those words were what he fell for, and that fond twinkle in her eye was what cinched the deal. To this day, he had no idea what she saw in him. Never had time to find out. Two months after they started dating, she died with her father in a car wreck.
Perhaps Yoko was the excuse. Even now, at seventeen, Kouji found himself visiting her grave while wondering, What if? Maybe last night he just happened to be missing her more than usual, without really realizing it. Sought comfort. Something, anything. And Takuya just happened to be there, naturally, as Kouji had come over to hang out. How did this happen, anyway? Their limbs were still tangled. The two had just been trying to beat Fatal Frame II for what must have been the millionth time. They were both still naked. The two had been fighting, again, over who should beat the boss this time… so how? His left arm was numb from Takuya having fallen asleep on it afterwards.
Blue eyes glanced over at the door - closed. The brunette's parents were gone, the two having gone off to a party the night before and Shinya staying the night with Tomoki. Kouji had come over yesterday because he never missed a chance to spend an entire night gaming with the brunette these days, especially since his parents put that curfew in place. Naturally, Takuya broke it every time his mother and father were not home to stop him. Probably a good thing they were not home - he doubted the two were… quiet. No, he knew neither were quiet. Especially when he tried… that. Outwardly, he cringed from the memory and guilt. Laying there, in tousled white sheets and a messy red blanket he wondered what the brunette's excuse was. There were a lot of things Takuya would do for his friends - but Kouji was almost one-hundred percent positive what happened last night was not one of them. Especially when he tried… that. No friend let their friend try that with them unless they were the type to let people walk all over them - and Takuya was not the type. If the brunette were a doormat, he was one with spikes-installed to make sure people did not rub their grimy dirt on him. Excluding girls, because he was a gentleman after all. But Kouji was most definitely not a woman. If Takuya had any doubts, for some reason about that before… well, after last night those doubts were gone.
Their clothes were strewn all over the floor, and the television was currently playing the opening sequence to Fatal Frame II. Amidst their fighting, the two had forgotten to pause the game and naturally in the middle of a boss fight the character in-game died. Somewhere in their rolling, someone must have hit a button to take them back to the main screen. Later that evening, Kouji just knew he was going to go to sleep still hearing the opening sequence to the damned game. The Playstation 2 quietly hummed to itself, not necessarily reading the disc as it merely replayed the same sequence in a loop since no one was telling it to do anything different. The controller was mashed against the wall, and a pair of goggles sat peacefully atop the dresser a few feet away. As always, the room was trashed. But this morning, the area seemed more messy than usual. Dirtier, somehow. Though, that might have been because Kouji was well-aware the bed was certainly dirtier, and this made him feel dirty. How had that happened…? He at least knew how they got onto the bed, which was a remarkably clear point in his muddled memory, still trying to make sense as he slowly woke up further into the present.
At least he had his excuse - it was a strangely reassuring, calming thing to have. He could recall little intimacy from last night, everything he could remember from last night looking and sounding more like a quick bang. With, of all people, Takuya. His old friend, his male friend that had been with him through thick and thin. I suppose I can say we've experienced all kinds of things together… the ravenette thought wryly. All kinds of experiences indeed.
A small groan - his partner in crime was starting to wake up now. Distantly, Kouji wondered how long he, himself, had been awake. A few minutes? An hour? He had not bothered to check the time when he woke up. Not even bothering to check now, he nudged Takuya's bare shoulder. A pale finger pressed into tan flesh, bronzed by far more hours spent outdoors than in. An annoyed grunt, and Kouji felt the flicker of a grin. "Comfortable?" No matter how awkward this was, a portion of the ravenette was unable to resist this odd chance at teasing.
The brunette made some sort of incoherent response back, the reply capable of being anything between a very drawn-out yes or a, "Obviously you fuckhead." There was a fifty-fifty chance between the two, the more he thought about it. After another minute of Kouji suddenly wondering if he should get out of the bed or remain in it, realizing just how awkward and bizarre the situation was with one bed and two naked men in it. He fought back embarrassment, which only made the situation more bizarre because after last night he was embarrassed? Ashamed, perhaps. But embarrassed? More importantly, why did it bother him now that Takuya was waking up? Minutes ago he was taking a detour down memory lane rather comfortably in this same position, only with a sleeping brunette. And the more Takuya shifted, slowly waking as he realized this was not how he normally slept, and that there was another body in the bed with him… Kouji realized how comfortable he had been a few minutes ago.
The two had been tangled, but now limbs were untying themselves from the tightly formed knots from last night's activities. Unruly brown strands were no longer lightly tapping at Kouji's chin, and the even breaths on his chest bone retreated away. The only improvement he found, now, was that he could move his left arm. A tingling wriggled through from his fingertips to his shoulder, as pinpricks and shivers coursed through his arm with the resumed blood flow. Groggy, half-lidded mahogany eyes peered around curiously, trying to make sense of the weird angle he had been sleeping in last night. Just lying there on his back, flexing his arm back into movement Kouji internally did his best to act normally. As if this happened to the two all of the time, instead of this being a freak occasion. He could almost hear the clicks as Takuya suddenly made sense.
Or, as Kouji looked over with a raised brow, that click had actually been the 'thunk' of the brunette scrambling back in alarm only to discover his bed was small - so instead he just smacked into the wall rather quickly from the force and velocity of his sudden movement. Mentally, the ravenette could almost picture this scenario in third-person with his brain, almost as if it was playing out in his mind like a television show. Only, for some reason the world was suddenly in black and white and Kouji was casually smoking a cigar. He would save his curiosities as to why he was making reality into some kind of retro pornography for later. "Good morning." Kouji's voice was stiffer than usual, but at least he did not have that horrified visage combined with wide eyes that said, with no subtly whatsoever, "Oh shit."
"…yeah. Good morning." Takuya returned, his voice tight but the usual warm undertone was still there. He was surprised, but at least not going to have a meltdown over it. The two were closer friends than Kouji realized. He was pretty sure most guys, were they to wake up naked to their best friend, would have internal meltdowns and immediately question their sexuality. Suddenly, he wondered why he was doing neither. Who knew if Takuya was? "So…" Naturally, all he had to do was leave it to the brunette to not let the silence extend into too awkward of a one. Then there would be no help to remedy the situation.
"What's your excuse?" Kouji offered. He had been awake longer, had more time to think of ways to avert a crisis. Even Izumi would have trouble fixing the pieces if neither were careful.
"My… excuse?" Takuya repeated, blinking his eyes owlishly as his brain tried to catch up to where Kouji's more awake one was sitting at (in case one was curious, the ex-loner's brain had a mental coffee shop. It extended a hot cup of mocha to the goggle head's once his arrived).
"For last night." Kouji continued. "I mean, technically we were both at fault. I was thinking about it when I woke up. Well, it was kind of hard to not think about, really…" Especially considering how he was all but wrapped around the brunette like a wet towel, meanwhile Takuya was nice and cozily snuggled up to him. It was rather… cold afterwards once the heat of the moment dissipated. "I think I pinpointed why, on my part. You remember Yoko?" A nod. Of course - how could Takuya forget? He had to accompany Kouji to the funeral. "I still miss her, sometimes. You know?"
"Uh… y-yeah." The brunette replied, slowly sliding back into the bed so he was no longer backing his own self into the wall. He slid under the blanket completely again, lying on his back so he could stare up at the ceiling. His expression was not exactly thoughtful; eyes open but no longer wide. Lips slightly parted, as words contemplated whether they should leave, keeping the door ajar as they tried to come to a decision. Their arms were touching - there was no room to give each other.
Minutes passed, and the silence remained. A quiet, but thoughtful one - the tension standing on its tip-toes, trying to peer over the taller heads of other emotions in the air wanting to get involved once more. At length: "I can't think of one." The brunette finally admitted.
"…maybe you were just horny then." Kouji replied distantly. What kind of idiot did not have an excuse for this? More importantly, what kind of question was that? Of course Takuya would not be able to conjure one half-asleep, and without breakfast. "Feel better now?"
"I… guess?" Takuya hesitated, before turning his head to stare at Kouji before one brow rose in confusion. "How am I… supposed to answer that?"
"…probably better if you don't, now that I think about it more." Kouji murmured, and tried his best to stretch, though his attempts were hindered or made awkward due to the small space he was given. Slipping one leg out, the other mimicking this action before the rest of his body followed. Fingers looped around articles of clothing, gathering his pieces in order to be worn once more. A pair of black boxers were slipped on. "Do you have anything to eat here?"
"I think we have some… instant noodles." Takuya replied, once more staring at the ceiling though now with his brows furrowed as he tried to recall the contents of the kitchen. "And water. I think my mom made some raspberry peach tea the other day…"
"No food. Got it." Kouji nodded, pulling on denim jeans. "How about this. I buy us breakfast somewhere, and when your brain is working again you tell me your excuse." Half of the reason he was offering was also out of guilt. If he instigated what happened last night, and then he tried that… well, he owed the brunette some kind of apology. What better way of saying sorry than free food?
"You really want me to give you one, huh?" Takuya laughed, a bit awkwardly, but it was still there. That was an improvement to the blank, slightly confused manners he had moments ago.
"Takuya. Last night…" Kouji trailed, suddenly staring at a figurative huge elephant in the room as he was attempting to slide on his shirt. For the record, it was a pink elephant with red freckles. How to approach such an animal without startling it? Think of the damage a frightened animal could inflict in such a small area for its size! "When we were… uhm…" He wondered if Takuya's cheeks felt as hot as his did right then. "Well when I tried to… are you okay, by the way?"
"If I can walk, all is forgiven." Takuya replied with an airy wave of his hand. "But so help me Kouji, if I can't you're my personal slave until I can."
"Fair trade." Kouji cringed. Then, "Just so I know if I need to get a Sebastian cosplay anytime, could you try that soon?" Neither really watched Kuroshitsuji - but when one knew Izumi, one knew of these things whether that individual wished to or not.
"Only if it's the undercover one. With the glasses." The brunette answered, and Kouji heard shifting as he moved to stand up. "Yup. No damage done."
"You did scream. Not like I was going to keep trying after that." The ravenette replied with another wince.
"…if you try that with anyone else again, I would recommend looking up how to do it first. Just, you know, keep that in mind if there is a next time." Takuya offered, bypassing a now fully dressed ex-loner to get clean clothes. Kouji merely rolled his eyes, unsurprised by the fact it was now himself who was being teased. The situation was still awkward and bizarre - neither of the two were usually this playful in the morning, and it felt more like they were being a comedy team, exchanging banters to keep the flow going steady instead of letting it build until it exploded. That was when he realized both were quietly, but desperately, trying to keep things normal. The tension at bay. The situation buried, even when they were talking about it. Making last night into a harmless joke, keeping the reality of what had happened as unreal as possible.
"So… you really are all right?" He still felt guilty.
"Yes, I'm fine. I play soccer all the time - I've gotten more ban-" Takuya suddenly flushed, realizing his choice of words before side-stepping and choosing a different route. "I've gotten far worse playing soccer. That was nothing in comparison." Sliding on a maroon shirt with the logo of some company over the right breast, he gave his own yawn and stretch.
"Good. And I really am sorry about last night. I mean, I know you probably have your own reasons as to why that did happen but… thanks, anyway. For being there, when I needed you… even though it was kind of for that." It was amazing that the two had been through so much together, but after one night of fooling around under the sheets together this was one of the times Kouji felt as though he was grabbing at straws. They had fought many times, forgiven many times… but this was a situation that was entirely different. Alarming, almost. Especially because even now, he was not questioning anything. He was not completely alarmed by what happened, and there was a great deal of shame associated with it. Had he really used his best friend last night in such a way? Should he have really been so comfortably in the way he had woken up…?
The brunette rolled his eyes and bent down to begin picking up his clothes from last night. "No harm, no foul." Came the old cliché from him, once more waving off the other's concerns. Someone was taking this awfully lightly. Finally, he paused when noticing the game. "But…"
"Yeah?" Kouji snapped to attention, watching the other with a quiet anticipation. Would he have the excuse now? He wondered why it was bothering him so much, that the brunette had none yet. Not even really tried to offer one. Made last night seem so much more casual and ordinary, like taking the garbage out. Nothing special - so why did that bother him as well?
"Well… no, never mind. Stupid question." Takuya side-stepped again, and moved his hand to instead reach around so he could turn off the gaming console. The television was next.
"To quote a teaching authority, 'there is no stupid question, outside of the one that is not asked.' So, what is it? Not like we have anything to hide after last night. I think we effectively let everything hang out then." Another joke, though this one more desperate.
"Just… you know, it's about last night. And… what happened, the how and the why. Do you really miss Yoko that much?" Takuya inquired, and by the tone - the mild confusion, the hesitation - the ravenette knew there would be more to the question.
"I think last night proved as much." Kouji shrugged, patiently waiting to know the rest.
"Oh. Okay." And that was it. Takuya finished gathering the clothes, and stood up once more before giving the floor one last once over. His eyes strayed to the bed, and he began bundling the sheets and blanket. Of course that needed to be washed. As he put it all together, adjusting and readjusting so he could carry it all without getting anything on him from last night, the ravenette found himself waiting for more questions that were not being spoken.
"Is there… anything else you want to know?"
"I guess… no, not really."
"You guess no?"
"Kouji, do you want me to make up questions for you?"
"No, just… sounded like you had more. So. About ready for breakfast?" Kouji raised his own brow at the pile in the brunette's arms which had stopped moving for the most part.
"Breakfast? I told you - all is forgiven. No harm, no foul. Keep better track of the conversation, would you?" An exasperated sigh and the bundle then began to try and maneuver around Kouji to get out of the room, presumably to the washer downstairs.
"Takuya… there's practically nothing to eat here. Knowing you, if you don't eat soon you'll shrivel up and die." It was a strong theory in their group of friends. Takuya was the only person any of them knew with a high enough metabolisms to eat so much so often and gain absolutely nothing. In the beginning, it was enough to inspire Junpei to join the soccer team. His desire was only fueled when the brunette and blonde broke up, as their older friend wanted a, 'fine, well-chiseled man-body to woo her with.' Where he got that idea, no one really knew because while Takuya was fairly strong from working out and playing in the field so often… well, a well-chiseled man-body was not in the list of descriptive words for the brunette.
"I can have instant noodles." Takuya countered. There was something weird happening - Takuya never turned down free food in favor of instant noodles. He abhorred instant noodles, ever since that week there was nothing to eat but that. Since then, going to a ramen stand had been out of the question for group outings.
"Takuya." Kouji grit his teeth. There was something, he was not being told what, and it was worrying him. Dealing with Takuya, sometimes it was easier to get annoyed instead of worried, which was what he chose to do now. "What is it? If you don't tell me, I'll call Kouichi. He'll guilt it out of you. You know how efficient he works with such tactics." The bundle halfway out of the door winced. No soul was spared from Kouichi's last-ditch guilt tactics. The twin generally disliked using such under-handed maneuvers, but if push came to shove that was what precisely came out. Those were always a bad week.
"Fine. It's just… it's weird. Last night… you didn't even mention her. During… it all, you never even said her name. I always thought when people did that, they said the person they're thinking of's name." Takuya finally admitted, shoulders sagging. Now it was Kouji's own turn to flush.
"Err, yeah I guess they do… in the media, anyway." The ravenette suddenly found his hair fascinating. Split-ends. Yes, he should probably get a trim. Not a cut - he tried that once. Not only did his neck feel naked, but Kouichi went through some weird identity crisis that involved not being to tell his own self apart from Kouji. A story better left unspoken, really. "Well… the times I've done it… with, you know… her… I've never really said a name. And when I'm by myself, I don't say a name… why, do you? I didn't hear you say a name last night, either." The two were both effectively blushing.
"W-well…" Takuya stammered, fumbled with words, before sighing and simply giving up. Unable to think of a counter, he merely shook his head. "Just… seemed weird that you'd do something in her name, but not mention her at all until after the fact."
"Unconscious thing, I think." Kouji replied, now on all fours as he attempted search out his hair tie. Locating it, with an ease born of years of practice he slipped his unbrushed hair into its usual ponytail. The knots would be killer later, but for now he felt more self-confident and reassured with his hair back in its proper style. Undone he felt… different, uncomfortable. Too free. He needed laws, and stuff. And junk and stuff. "Come on. Let me get you breakfast. Help you figure out your half of the story." The bundle shook itself, still refusing. "Oh come fucking on." The ravenette chose to ignore the level of inappropriateness such a simple statement presented and continued past it. "I'm offering you free food. You never turn it down. What the hell gives?"
"I, well… already know my reason." The bundle shrugged. "I don't need food to help me figure it out."
"That's peachy. What is it?" Kouji muttered, rubbing his temples. There were days… days like these, in which he wondered if getting into a fist-fight with the brunette was an even trade-off. On one hand, it would be so fulfilling. On the other hand, the brunette got in a few good punches of his own and both were usually fairly bruised for the next couple of days. The bundle was put down, and Takuya checked his clothes quickly to make sure nothing got on it. Reasonable thing to check for. And at least the brunette was going to explain himself with the two facing one another. A sudden moment of horror - what if this was about Izumi? He would have to remind himself to not roll his eyes, get exasperated, or gag.
"Kouji, I…" The brunette struggled, trying to find the words to form a sentence. Hopefully that was not as awkward as the one he offered regarding his question and the people speaking other's names. His face contorted, relaxed, and the muscles twitched as he continued wrestling with his explanation, his reason. Kouji patiently waited. The brunette took a few hesitant steps closer, and looked up again to try and speak. The ex-loner was still patiently waiting. He could do this all day, if necessary. If something involved getting information he was keen on receiving, Kouji had more patience than anyone else he knew.
More awkward, struggling minutes. So much to say, and so few ways to say it. At length, he tried the original route. "Kouji, I…" Still, nothing wanted to come out and explain itself. Whatever his reason, the ravenette had never seen Takuya so nervous. Slowly, little by little, he was growing concerned as to what the reason was. Was it something so horrible that before the brunette had never even mentioned it? …soccer. Takuya had mentioned getting worse from soccer. Was one of his teammates, far bigger and stronger than him, taking advantage of the brunette? …Kouji would kill him. Or her. There were some really kinky, really scary women out there.
While contemplating ways in which to kill this imaginary rapist (no one hurt his friends. No one), he found himself taken off-guard by lips awkwardly fumbling against his own as arms wrapped an iron grip around his neck and shoulders. Thoughts went blank. Body rigid. Lips descended until they came to a halt at his neckline, unsteady breaths dampening his shirt and the skin beneath. "Kouji, I wanted it…" Came a soft, guilty, and ashamed whisper. A myriad of questions exploded in his brain, each demanding to be asked first and claiming the most importance. Wait - Takuya took advantage of me taking advantage of him? Is he gay, or is he bi? Bi-curious? When did this happen? Why didn't I notice? I think he's crying. Shit. He needed to say something. Ask the most important question. Yet of all the good questions, all of the ones worth asking… perhaps the stupidest and most irrelevant was the first to be asked:
"You know… for someone who plays a game where no one uses their hands much… you have one hell of a grip." It was true - he had to take stiff, gulps of air rather than breathing regularly. The hold loosened slightly, to allow more breathing room, but somehow Kouji got the feeling the brunette was not letting go anytime soon regardless of any other way the ex-loner responded. "Good… thanks…" And the two simply stood there. Small sniffles coming from Takuya, while Kouji stood there awkwardly trying desperately to figure out what to say or do.
What should he do? …how did this make him feel? Well, for the moment it was certainly an ego-boost. Apparently there was something in his personality and physique that was attractive enough to get the attentions of another man. He now felt a bit used, as well. Not that he would pay that portion much mind - he was sure Takuya felt the same way. Yes, please just pretend to be my dead girlfriend real quick… please, and thank you. Definitely not paying the fact he felt used any mind. Though, now he wondered. Last night, he had just assumed he instigated what transpired. But was it? He could not properly recall. It went from fighting, to the floor, to hands beneath clothes… and then the bed, where everything came undone and to the climax of that night (puns, unintended). He closed his eyes, trying to recall while also attempting to ignore what he was beginning to suspect was snot on his shoulder.
The fighting had downgraded to childish wrestling. Kouji had the controller, and was holding it over his head while using his other hand to try and keep the brunette on the floor. His palm was pushing down on Takuya's chest, which unfortunately left his arms free to try and drag the arm with the controller back down. Rolling. A crashing sound - had they broken something? He cracked open one eye, and immediately closed it. Takuya never really liked that alarm clock, anyway. And then lips. Who pressed against whom? Was it an accident? No… something like that happening on accident? Too far-fetched. But Kouji remembered pressing back. Takuya started it, then. Sneaky. Curiously, he pondered if the brunette expected it to go farther than that. If he even expected to get caught.
This brought him to here, the now. He felt… a mixture of feelings. That morning, that felt comfortable. Right, almost. Takuya, this close to him was not bothering him. Well, the snot and tears on his shirt and neck certainly was, but most people tended to be bothered by such things. Even so, he was tolerating it because he did not want to upset the other more. In fact, he was taking a lot of this in so much stride and tolerance it was almost as if… last night was not about Yoko at all. Which in effect, made his usage of her cruel, but true - he had been using her as an excuse.
"Takuya…" Kouji began, and slowly lifted his arms to wrap them around the other's waist. "I really don't appreciate you blowing your nose on my shirt." He really knew how to get the warm and fuzzies going.
"…s-sorry…" Takuya apologized quietly, but did not move - now that Kouji was returning the hug, he was even more unwilling to disentangle.
"Please. Go blow your nose. And maybe wash your face. I'll take the laundry to the washer." Because now my shirt's fucking gross. Ever the romantic, Kouji slowly helped encourage the brunette to disentangle. "Promise. Now you really might want to clean up." He wrinkled his nose. "I've seen uglier sights, but…"
"R-right…" Takuya nodded, quickly covering his face in order to scamper out of the room to the washroom. Kouji let out a deep breath, closed his eyes, and cautiously removed his shirt. Tossing it onto the dirty clothes pile, he headed downstairs to toss it into the washer. Minutes later, the brunette joined him so the two could once more stand in their awkward silence. Sharing was caring, after all. At least Takuya looked a bit better. Kouji had no idea where cartoons or anime got off in thinking crying was attractive - it was not. There were runny noses and red, vein-infested eyes that got puffy all around and watery. The old snot would dry and crust around the nose, while the newer fluids would dribble down either the chin or into the mouth. At least now Takuya only sported red, puffy eyes.
"I'm not angry at you." Kouji finally began, figuring that was probably the reason for the tears. That and the guilt. The brunette gave a small, relieved sigh and closed his eyes. "And… I didn't really mind waking up the way I did this morning." He wished he had Yoko's way with words; though surprisingly found that he did not necessary want Yoko now. Not in the way he did two years, or even two months, ago. "So if you would be comfortable in giving it a try with me… we can find out if last night was just about Yoko, or if it was about something else entirely." He looked over, and saw Takuya watching him with a small but hope-filled smile.
"…if you're sure, then yeah. I think I would be comfortable with trying…" The brunette trailed, paused to stare briefly at the other, before laughing. "And uhm, I think I'll lend you a shirt as well. You wanted to go to breakfast, right? Can't go in shirtless." At that, Kouji offered a grin.
"Fine. But on one condition - next time you stay over at my house, you wear one of my shirts. And I get my snot all over one of yours." The ravenette reached over and ruffled the other's hair, of who gave a playful shove back.
"Fine, fair's fair. I'll go get you one." Takuya turned, to return to his room.
"Get me your biggest one! I want to be able to fit into it."
"You're barely half an inch taller than me! I'm sure any of my shirts will fit you!"
"Hey - I'm treating you to a date! And shouldn't you be stroking my ego, not deflating it?"
"I'll stroke your ego any day - but honestly. I'm not going to make up shit! That's dishonest. And this isn't a date - you offered before we even discussed trying this out!"
"Oh, and while we're on the subject about us dating and honesty… I'm not calling you Hot Muffin."
"That's fine, Strawberry Pancakes. You don't have to."
"AND YOU DON'T CALL ME THAT, EITHER! What is with you and breakfast-themed pet names?" The start of a healthy relationship - together for barely thirty seconds, and already their first lover's quarrel.
Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon, Fatal Frame, or the PS2. I own a PS2, but do not own the copyrights and all that jazz-ma-tazz stuff.
A/N: I know. I'm supposed to be updating, "Deja Vu." But somehow, this one-shot was all, "PFFTT I AM WAY MORE IMPORTANT," only it was super more persuasive and I could not say nooooo. Sorry. I know. I faaaaiiilll. BUT BUT BUT. Here. Have mooshy (pfffttt, this isn't all that mushy...) Koukuya to placate you all until I update again. Or until someone immensely more awesome updates their fanfics again. Idon'tknowwhatyoukidsdothesedays. Also, super thanks to her almighty awesomeness Puppeh-chan you pointed out some of my errors.