Disclaimer: Shep and McKay aren't mine. Nor am I making moneys off this or in any way affiliated with MGM and the Stargate Franchise beyond, y'know... being a fan. Helen Ross is mine.

Just random silly for fun and therapy.


I know you know the feeling. Having a bad day? Doesn't matter what it was that started it. You fell out of bed, you tripped down a flight of stairs, someone knocked over your priceless Millennium Falcon replica, your best friend's dog got eaten. (You know. The one you were watching? Way to be a good friend, right?)

Well, however the start. You start off bad, and when that one final thing hits? You're done. You go crawling into a hole and just stay there!

For me it was a burnt bagel. Slightly charcoal-esque, you could use it as an alternative fuel. You know the sort. Yeah, whatever. I wanted that bagel!

Needless to say the events of my merciless day had driven me under my desk with my laptop. Because I did have a job to do and I was not going to call in sick and explain the whole bagel fiasco to my somewhat pompous, irritable boss.

This stage you kind of figure, well, short of alien invasion or plague, not much worse can happen. I mean. Right?

For the record: this is proof your psyche lacks creativity and a proper sense of realism.

Because-of course-this is the day your BOSS decides to come visit your little den. Yeah? Sound bad? Well add where I work!

My first sign of the employee apocalypse was the hush settling over all of my coworkers. I stopped typing, frozen in this silence. Yeah, no way he'd miss that I wasn't at my desk. Well, not visibly.

But he seemed to miss it and I started to relax as time went on and his ire seemed directed elsewhere.

Ever imagine what The Fates look like? Rubbing their hands together and cackling as they come up with their newest torment to bestow on some unwitting mortal?

I can't say it's one of those images I conjure up often, but something about not one, but two pairs of legs entering my line of sight and just staying there brought it forth.

Because, as if having my boss find me under my desk wasn't bad enough, one of the military guys seeing me there too? I ventured to peek out and my heart skipped a beat. You know, like they talk about in romance novels? Only this was the result of sheer, unadulterated terror.

Not just any old leatherneck or flyboy who would merely tease me for it-albeit mercilessly. No, the head of the military stationed here. There was no way this Colonel would approve of someone who'd hide under their desk over a bad day being posted here. I don't care how cool everyone found him. And then bye-bye me.

He stood with his arms crossed, facing the other direction. I couldn't really make out his expression, just the thoroughly messy hair. Just past him my boss leaned over, explaining in the simplest possible terms what a coworker had done wrong.

Despite my situation, despite the fact I was scared to move, somewhere in this I snickered, and then put a hand quickly to my mouth, waiting for some sign he'd heard me. Not my fault. If Shelly had just listened to my suggestion McKay would not be here right now.

The lecture continued, but suddenly the Colonel's feet shifted and I slid further back under my desk, spewing off mental curses at the incriminating cord which the combat boot started pushing.

I swear to you. I could hear them cackling!

It was only a matter of moments before the Colonel had knelt down to eye level, and I curled my knees in, clinging to my laptop.

Instead of calling attention to me or scowling, his lips quirked into the oddest grin and he looked back over his shoulder to see if he'd been spotted before CRAWLING RIGHT IN! Apparently he took the space opened up by my making as small of a ball as possible as an invitation.

Who cared that his feet hit my legs in the process.

"I think you have the right idea," he whispered with a conspiratorial nod.

I, of course, had frozen, and was probably blushing, my jaw somewhat slack.

"So I'm John Sheppard, what's your name?"

"Uh..."

He craned his neck for a view of my name tag. "Ross? You got a first name to go with that?"

"H-Helen," I stammered out, keeping as quiet as possible.

"Good god, Kirk!"

I yelped and hit my head against the underside of the desk while trying to look up.

John looked up too, the picture of innocence. "What?"

"I can't take you anywhere! And you!"

Oh, my turn for the icy glare. I shifted my attention from the growing bump on my head back to curling up as small as possible, still clinging to my computer.

"What are you doing cavorting under the desk when you should be working?"

"I.. uh."

"She is working. She just wanted to show me something."

"Under the desk?" McKay did not sound convinced, but even as he spoke John grabbed my laptop and crawled out, handing it to him.

I suppose it's possible they were merely snickering instead of cackling, because I could have been on break. And Solitaire on my screen just then? Yeah...

"What's this?"

"Umm."

John reached back for my hand, not wavering and giving me no chance to refuse letting him help me to my feet.

Before I could even explain myself McKay'd pulled the plug from the laptop and set it on Shelly's desk. "This is what you should have done! Why isn't this what I see?"

"She's new here, she's hardly relia-"

"She's clearly smarter than the rest of you combined!"

I knew he was only complimenting me to make a point. I knew I'd do something else to get snapped soon enough, but now I was definitely blushing. I looked up to John who grinned back at me and winked.

Yeah. Screw The Fates. This was undoubtedly the best day ever.