Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. You know this, I know this, the squirrel in the tree knows this (don't ask me how)

AN: Recently beta'd by Galadriell, a wonderful writer and editor. Not to mention my knight in shining... shiny stuff.

Malfoy's POV:

Alright… So the fight wasn't my fault. Entirely.

If Potter hadn't been such a moron, we would have not ended up rolling around on the floor in the hallway while trying to kill each other with our bare hands.

Nope. Definitely not my fault.

If Crabbe and Goyle had been here, this would have ended so much sooner. But were they there when I needed them? No, of course not. They were off stuffing their faces in the Great Hall. But that is how things ended up.

I had finally gotten the upper-hand and tackled the annoying bastard down. I had straddled his waist and pinned his arms down above his head.

Alright, so it is a bit of a compromising position but again not my fault, damn it! I was desperate, the prat was fast and I had taken enough punches to the gut. So there I was, smirking down at him.

"Well, Potter. Looks like you lose," I whispered near his ear. I pulled back in time to see something like fear flicker across his face. I reveled in it. He had it coming after all. I laughed at him.

Snorting, I said, "Weak freak, how does it feel to be at my mercy?" In hindsight, I realize just how melodramatic I sounded. I couldn't help myself.

"Let me go," he whispered, his voice hoarse.

"Not until you've learned your lesson, Potter."


Harry's POV:

"Let me go" I whispered, my voice hoarse from holding back a scream so hard that my throat hurt

"Not until you've learned your lesson, Potter."

I see you still haven't learned your lesson Potter

The moment ruthlessly came back into my mind


I froze, my veins thick with dread. Eyes going wide my heart started trying to escape my chest. Time stops. I don't see Malfoy above me. I only saw him. I started to shake. I awaited the pain.


Malfoy's POV:

His mask cracked, slipped, dissolved.

Emotions flashed through his eyes in rapid succession – too many so quickly that I could not identify even half of them.

But I identified the one look. I never expected to see it on the Golden Boy. Holy Mother of Fuck, what the hell happened to him?

I reared back and let his hands go. They were shaking. His whole body was shaking.

"Potter," I said quietly


Harry's POV:


His voice was quiet

You'll never speak of this or it will be worse. This is what you like anyway, isn't it? Perverted little fag.

Tears stabbed in my eyes

You bloody bastard! Part of me screamed

I punched upward and heard a crack. The body on top of me reeled back. I sat up and pushed him the rest of the way off me.

I looked at my attacker but it wasn't him. I blinked.

"P-Harry" my attacker said





Draco's POV:

Alright, I'll admit that hurt. And I was more than a little miffed at getting a broken nose when I was trying to be nice.

Me being nice.

Things really are fucked up for someone if I'm the one being nice to someone.

He looked at me and blinked, I think he actually saw me this time.

"P-"… Wait that's what I said last time, new strategy… "Harry," I said feeling strange and half expecting another punch.

He blinked his emerald eyes again. "Draco Malfoy," he said dully, not a question but an identification that sounded like it was dragged heavily up from memory. He wiped the drying tears from the corners of his eyes.

I took this as a good sign. No punching and no crying.

I nodded because it seemed the right thing to do. "And you're Harry Potter. It is time to go to hospital wing, Madame Pomfrey will fix you up and give you a Dreamless Sleep Potion."

A Dreamless Sleep, take the bait, dumbass.

"A Dreamless Sleep Potion," he said wistfully "No, I can't do that. She'd –" he stopped

'Know' I finished silently. "Fine, than have Granger fix you something."

"She'd-" he stopped again

'Ask'. I was getting tired of finishing this half-wit's sentences. I clenched my jaw

"Fine, then. Have your damn nightmares." Okay… So I was running out of this whole niceness thing.

His face froze before glaring

"Damn it! I'll make you a potion."

He pulled a face as I started to walk towards the Potions' classroom. I growled, "I'm not gonna' poison you today, Scarhead. I'll even let you read the directions from the book to make sure of it."

As I walked down the corridor again I made a mental note to myself to never go out of my way to be nice again. It was such a hassle and plain unnatural.

"Why are you helping me anyway?" Potter asked, his voice quiet behind me.

"Fucked if I know. Shut up and don't get used to it," I snapped and continued down the hall with a deliberate step.


Harry's POV:

"Why are you helping me anyway?" I ask. This entire situation makes no sense. Frankly, I just want to curl up and forget.

"Fucked if I know, shut up and don't get used to it." Okay… That makes more sense. Universe is expanding in the right direction and fire couldn't possibly be falling from the sky.

… Still, I can't believe I lost control and let my mask slip. In front of Malfoy no less. How much did he see? How much can he tell? Most importantly…. What will he do now?

I could really use that potion, or better yet some Firewhiskey.

"I don't suppose old Severus has any Firewhiskey tucked away in his stores. Bet you ten Galleons it's just filled with gay porn."

…. Did I really just ask that?


Draco's POV:

…. Did he really just ask that?

I snorted and started to laugh hysterically. Potter joined me and soon we were leaning against the walls for support, laughing with tears coming from our eyes. It wasn't even that funny, but just then it was the most hilarious thing I had ever heard.

I subsided into giggles "I dearly hope so." I managed before giggling again. Tires squeal to a stop. Wait. Giggle? Slytherins don't giggle, damn it!

"Did you just giggle?" Potter asked with a snort.

"No," I snapped.

He just laughed. "You did!"

"Lies. You're just hearing things, Scarhead," I muttered disdainfully, nose in the air. I felt a poke on the side of my face.

"Uh huh… Then why are you blushing?"

I batted his hand away. "Not the point!" I said emphatically again, turning around the last corner and dramatically brushing my hair.

He grinned and muttered something along the lines of 'drama queen'

"What did you just say?" I asked quietly as I turned around and gave him the patented Death Glare #2 (licensed for use in case of personal insult by a complete dolt – AKA Harry fuckin' Potter).


Harry's POV:

"What did you just say?" he asked quietly and gave me the scariest fucking glare I've ever seen. Seriously, guaranteed to shrivel men at 30 paces.

Alarms went off and red lights flashed, 'Activate evasive procedures!'

"Um – I… I was just… saying… what a… handsome – and… intelligent? man you are…"

"Tch. That's what I thought you said," he said like a slightly appeased prince. Either that or a poofed-up angry bird settling its ruffled feathers. I couldn't decide which.


Draco POV:

"Hmm… Coughing Potion, clam extract… Where the hell is the Calming Draught?" I muttered as I rummaged through the shelves until –

"Fuck yeah! He actually has Firewhiskey!" Potter crowed out next to me, pulling the bottle out of the false bottom of a desk drawer.

I couldn't help but grin and say, "Then pass it here, Golden Boy. It doesn't do any good in the bottle." My eyes widened when I took hold of the neck "Hero, you found the – what do the muggles say… 'Mother road'?"

He snickered. "Mother load, dumbass."

I sneered, "Whatever, idiot. This is charmed to refill itself as long as you don't look down the neck." I took a swig. Made of heaven and dreams.

"Sweet. I thought that was just fairy tales," he said oddly hushed.

"The fey don't have tails… Well, most of them don't." I said scornfully and passed him the bottle.

"Do you know anything about muggles? Honestly? Fairy tales; stories for children about things that aren't real. Magic, witches flying on brooms, dragons, and stuff like that," Harry said with a little smile.

There was a pause before I broke down again and laughed my arse off. "You do realize… you just described a – typical – day at Hog – Hogwarts, right?" I asked, gasping for air.

He laughed softly. "Yeah." His eyes were distant as he took another long pull from the heavenly bottle of heaven and dreams.

Stupid trying to be nice thing. Bad idea. I was right. It was plain unnatural. I must be going mad; it's the only explanation for why I tried to snap him out of whatever he was seeing.

"Lets see what else Sev is hiding!"

His eyes met mine and lightened a little as he smiled. "Fine. Whoever finds the best shit wins."

I grinned back and went to a bookcase. I heard him riffling through the desk behind me.

The books were boring, proper and generic. I frowned. Something strange, these looked too droning to read. I found a thick tome longer than my forearm, titled "The Autobiographical Musings of Alderson Freyersone". I opened it curiously

And screamed



Harry's POV:

There had to be more in this desk, the false bottom of that one drawer showed he was hiding more. Nothing, no hollows or suspicious looking things. I turned to walk to another part of the room when I heard a scream.

That horrifying scream that echoed shrilly on the walls.

"MY EYES!" Draco shrieked.

"Draco! Are you hurt?" I ran over to his shaking huddled form, he seemed to be rocking himself back and forth.

I turned to see his face and his hands were covering his eyes like a little child at a scary movie.

"Draco, what's wrong? Let me see!"

He pulled one hand away from his face, eyes still closed, but instead of letting me see what was wrong with his eyes, he just pointed accusingly at an unassuming book.

He put his hand back over his face and resumed rocking back and forth. He started to hum a lullaby about bunnies.


Okay, then…

I'm learning this as I go.

But I'm pretty sure that Rule #1 in dealing with crazy people is to humor them.

I opened the book. My own eyes going wide

"Fuck! I guess he really did have gay porn."

I heard a whimper from Draco and I couldn't help but push it farther. "Didn't know a bloke could bend that way," I decided to add for his benefit.


Taking pity on him, I passed him the bottle back. He chugged it with ferocity before looking at me, his eyes strangely blank. But at least he wasn't singing the bunny song again.

He cleared his throat, his voice was even and measured, and asked, "Is my name still Draco Malfoy?"

… Shit… Bring on the bunnies.

"Yes, that is your name."

"Ah, so I really am getting drunk with The-Boy-Who-Wouldn't-Bloody-Die, surrounded by my godfather's wanking material?"

I laughed so hard, tears coming from the corners of my eyes. "'fraid so, Princess."

He smirked and looked at me "If that's the case, lets see what else he's hiding, Hero."

I grinned.

Weirdest fucking day of my life. Secrets revealed. Flipping out. Drunk Malfoy who, somehow, turned into Draco. And now looking for gay porn in Snape's office.

Yup. Sounds about right.

I grinned wickedly.

"You take the left and I'll take the right."

AN: I do think I'll be doing a epilogue or such for this (it's fun to write, and a couple of reviewers requested it)

Have patience for the update though please. I'm just a poor starving author... seriously there's nothing in my fridge... I need to go grocery shopping.