A/N: I may get flamed for this, but I can't help it. This particular pairing idea, while rare, works really well if given the chance. This is another randomosity, if you'll allow the unrealistic term. The boys were talking of pairings they wish they saw more of, and this one just happen to come up into conversation. I think I need more female, non butch, friends…yes…indeed I do.
Starts off as Ami centric and then branches off from there…I have no idea how long running this fiction will be, but I can't imagine it being very long since I don't anticipate the pairing or the story to be highly popular. This was more a request than anything else. I'm only trying to do this pairing justice.
I do not own Sailor Moon.
Prologue: Happy Endings of a Bitter Beginning
She sits alone on the bus both to and from school. Rejected, neglected, I can't help but feel sorry for her. I know what that can be like. She's such a shy, sweet girl. I feel badly for how she's treated. People would grow to love her if they just gave her a chance. In fact, we kind of have a history that could be equated to tragedy. I love her now more than life itself, but it hadn't started like that. She was at one point considered to be an enemy. It really is all water under the bridge now, but even so, she does look far younger than me, and still only in high school despite the fact that I've graduated.
Even I must admit that sometimes Senshi situations can really be nothing more than bothersome.
For the record, I know I could be stared at, called wrong for my views. Hotaru does look quite young despite her abilities, and in a way, I guess it's easy to pretend she has the naivety of a simple high school teen. We, the ones important enough…no, blessed enough, we know the difference. We know her danger, we know her light. She really is a special person, and I guess that's why I attached myself to her as I have. Things started simply, and progressed into a state of affairs I'm not sure I can fully explain. I'm the rational Senshi. Things like this don't come easy for me. After all, my feelings for this girl are beyond rationality.
Even as I sit here now, I should be typing up my next thesis statement for class and finish a report for the end of my first semester. What am I doing instead? Musing about her. Thinking about how far we've come, musing about how far we have left to go. Senshi live for a long time you know. If she and I ever had a wedding, with real vows, the whole 'til death do us part' thing would be seemingly impossible as far as any logical standard. I mean, after all, people hardly stay together anymore…at least that's what Minako says.
Getting a divorce isn't common around here, even if my mother did go along with getting one. Minako sees it as quite a normal occurrence, although I fully beg to differ. I guess it's just differences of common moral I guess. It's not exactly a good thing to be raised without a parent involved in your life someplace either, but there again, Rei defies logic since she's almost solely raised by her grandfather…I've never seen her father around.
Anyway, I'm sure you get the idea. Things like that just aren't normal just like we aren't conventional.
"Usagi would go berserk if she saw you at that computer for eleven straight hours." Her voice startles me slightly. She's always so calm and quiet; I didn't even know she had entered the room. "Papa's driving me off the wall about it too, saying we really need to get out more." She shrugged, placing her water glass on the nightstand and flopping into the bed, a small serene look gracing her features, she really is quite stunning.
"I guess we should." I know how those blonds like to meddle; besides Usagi's word is effective law according to some. I state as such, and Hotaru laughs. She knows that fact all too well. "Mother will be home tomorrow." Hotaru nods, but isn't fond of that fact. I can almost guarantee she'll insist staying up all night. Sometimes her childlike attributes come to light. In all honesty though, Usagi, Minako, and in rare cases Haruka would declare the same basic thing. Hotaru isn't the only one, and at least she has an excuse. "That means I'll have to go back."
"All the more reason to give up on that report and come to bed." Hotaru chuckles softly and I know she's mocking me. I'm not exactly as smart as everyone gives me credit for. Even I can struggle in school, I am now in fact. Collage isn't exactly easy, and even if I am smart, they call it learning for a reason. I pick things up if taught to me but that doesn't mean I automatically know the answers. "It's not like you can fail, even if you do bomb the one report." She had a point there.
Even I have my limits. Even things I love can drive me bonkers, and this report happens to be rather annoying. I can't think clearly tonight. I close the program after saving my work, my mind rather tired from thinking. "Do you think I put too much effort into my school work?" I asked as I fished around in my bag for my pajamas. She only shakes her head. I glance at her and replay. "Well? Do I? Minako says I do, but Rei says I don't...so I'm not sure."
"I think it depends really." Hotaru is an unusually wise girl. "Right now, I think you've over done it…I'd rather bomb one grade than obsess over it. I mean sure it may affect an overall average, but I don't intend to not learn something just because I get some sucky grade." I try not to laugh. Hotaru hates school of any kind and had no qualms stating her views. I remain surprised as yet again I undress and put on my sleep wear in front of her. She doesn't stare. She never gazes openly and I wonder if that's a bad thing or a good thing.
We are dating after all. Minako ogles everything so of course when I asked her, she had told me it was important, but then when you think about it, I've never seen Hotaru openly stare at anyone in a provocative fashion. I may be over analyzing things as I get into bed, but a part of me still wonders. "Do you find me attractive?" The look on her face seems more amused than not and I find myself worried.
"You do realize you ask me that every time you change?" I did actually, and nod knowing that to be true. "And have you noted the answer is always the same." I blush, I know that too, but I just can't help but wonder if she means it. "I think you are very beautiful." She hugs me, smiling serenely and again I want to pose a question, yet I think better of it as I feel her gaze on mine.
We both have our innocence and most of the world would likely laugh at me for saying that. Even if we've shared a bed, even if we've gone to that second base, we've never gone to the third, and that's a constant reminder when a few of our comrades have broached the question with us. Still, she leans in and kisses me and I feel my blush amplify. Gods how she learned to move her tongue like that is beyond my ken. I'll never be able to figure that out. Its times like this I want to push further. I know she's had the same desire, it's just… I'm not ready for that. She isn't either.
When she pulled away slowly, I intake a breath, I've got to cool off my emotions. Hotaru isn't the type to force herself onto people, and I'm really too shy to initiate contact, well, at least I was at first. Now I can be slightly free with my thoughts and feelings, however that wasn't how we started.
Yes laugh it up at the over twenty virgin.
That's merely what happens when you date a Sailor Senshi a few years younger than you. We aren't that far apart in age mind you, but the gap is large enough to raise a few eyebrows. I remember when it all occurred. I was still a girl in my mid teens, about to head into my senior year of high school. Summer vacation was about to end, calling forth a new entry into the school year. Nothing had caused an attack, nothing out of the ordinary, and all was correct with the world. For once we could all actually admit that we were allowed to be normal.
I, of course, found myself rather excited, but the other girls didn't share my enthusiasm. With nothing to fight a few of us grew apart. Haruka and Michiru are the type of people one could call distant, without reason to be involved they pull away. Private by nature, but by no means rude. Setsuna was the direct opposite. Keeping her eyes plastered on everyone and everything. The mage looked frazzled actually, as if something kept her up at night, and although at the time we thought she had lost her mind, I can now safely assure that she was the worried parent she should have been.
Although, part of me wishes that if she knew that she would have told me. A little warning on Hotaru's feelings would have been a nice cushion at the time, but alas, I'm speeding ahead of myself aren't I? Hotaru's presence does that to a parson. She makes you see your life pass before your eyes. Be it out of fear of death or out of love and happy memories, it doesn't matter; one look into her eyes shows you so much if you would just look. Some people call them frightening…
I call them truth.
In those days I was unable to see her eyes, her feelings, her heart, and whatever it was she had been thinking. She was an absolute and utter anonymity, one that intrigued me, one that pulled me, called to me. She curls up into my embrace as we lay on the bed. She's so calming to my nerves. Just the fact she is by my side gives me a peaceful feeling I could never explain. I don't know why, but for some reason, I feel complete.
I just start closing my eyes as she murmurs in her sleep, telling me she loves me, brings a smile to my face. I tell her the same, we still have our innocence, but back then, we were sinners, questioned and hated for our love by the very people who should have loved us most. Our lives hadn't ever been easy, but as I close my eyes I can relive the days that made me fight the hardest battle I ever had to face. It wasn't a monster; it wasn't the end of the world, or the coming of the ice.
This was the fight for my heart, the fight for what I believed. It may not have been Usagi's fairytale or Minako's love novel. You could never equate it into Makoto's pointed desperation, or Rei's ideal of traditional romance. We are nothing like Haruka and Michiru, our love was not that of a scandal. Finally, our love is unlike like that of Setsuna, our past while hard, was not broken. No, our love was far different, and yet…so very much the same. Uncomplicated tasks shrouded in convolution gave us our answer, in a short length of time. Only seven days of complexity that led us into the here and now, a few years later.
Nowadays we call it love of simplicity, however, back then it just wasn't so…
Like I said, I don't know what this will turn into…it's not exactly a blind type, but this may pan out to be a hard pairing to do justice when working with. Let me know what you think by leaving a review.