AN: My muse hates me. It won't let me write anything on my other fandoms but keeps me up late at night to type out this. I have suddenly been flooded with this overwhelming urge for Ironman goodness. No idea what brought this on. Oh well, if you can't beat them.
'Hello Stark Industries.'
'Pepper! You're still there! Great! Excellent. I need a favour.'
'At eleven forty six at night, Mr Stark? Can't it wait until morning?'
'Well... technically it can, but I preferred you do it now.'
'It isn't one of those favours is it?'
'I have no idea what you mean.'
'You know. Like the time I had to drive over to the French Embassy, so you could climb out of the Ambassador's wife's window and make a quick get away.'
'Nothing like that.'
'Or like the time you punched Christian Bale in the jaw and I had to smooth things over?'
'Hey, I never asked you to do that. Bale had it coming.'
'Mr. Stark, you didn't urinate on a public monument again, did you?'
'I already explained that one to you, Pepper. I was drunk.'
'I would hope so.'
'Look Pepper, I'm running out of quarters. I'm a billionaire and I'm running out of quarters. Please could you just come and bail me out of this mess. Just once more?'
'Alright. Fine. What do you need me to do?'
'I just told you. I need you to come and bail me out. Literally. The Police Station on 150 North Los Angeles Street. Bring five thousand dollars.'
'What? Why? What did you do?'
'Pepper, I'll explain everything to you when you get here. But right now I need you to get in the car and drive. I'm sharing a cell with a guy called Spider and he seems really friendly.'
'Okay, I'm on my way.'
'Oh but wait! Pepper? Pepper?'
'Still here Mr. Stark.'
'Good. It's um... just... don't listen to the radio on your way over.'
'It's um... It's a little bit... The press may have gotten hold of some of the information. They've blown it completely out of proportion, I promise. Scouts honour.'
'You were never in the scouts.'
'Yes I was. For two weeks. They kicked me out after a small explosion incident. Jasper Bryson cried like a little girl but his eyebrows grew back fine...'
'You know, Mr. Stark, I was planning on going over the budget for human resources tomorrow. In fact that's actually why I was staying here so late; to get everything else out of the way so I wouldn't have any unnecessary distractions. And now I find out all that work has been wasted because I have a sneaking suspicion this little excursion of yours is going to monopolise all my free time for the next three weeks.'
'Really? Then it sounds like I've just saved your from dying of boredom. It's the leading cause of death in attractive PA's since 1978. I'm thinking of starting a foundation...'
'I thought you were running out of quarters?'
'Spider's lending me some. I'm not sure what he wants in return. His intentions might not be completely noble.'
'Fine. I'm really on my way this time.'
'Okay. Great. I can't wait to see your smiling face. And Pepper? If you do listen to the radio I just want you to know; they were all overage, the goat wasn't harmed in any way, the doctors said the Albanian burlesque-dancer will regain her hearing in a few days and the thing with the midgets makes complete sense when you put it in context.'
'Not even your own mother would blame me if I left you in there overnight, Mr. Stark. Or if I just left you there full stop.'
'C'mon Pepper. If I was left at the mercy of the Los Angeles Police Force permanently, who would take the time to make your life interesting?'
'Some people find car-accidents interesting.'
'Oh that reminds me...'