"Grimm," I say quietly, caging his face in my hands. "What are you afraid of?"
To my absolute horror and confusion, Grimmjow seems to curl in on himself. He pulls his head from my hands and shuffles away from me slightly.
He always acts so arrogant and aloof and confident; I don't know what he really thinking. I'm much too afraid to ask.
But I haven't ever seen him like this.
I haven't ever seen Grimmjow so sad.
Have I taken things a step too far? Did he really hate me sleeping with him that much?
Well, you did rape him. A sarcastic voice in my head tells me.
Maybe I broke us. Maybe we just aren't meant to go any further than this.
"You loved her, right?" He finally speaks. His voice is hoarse from so much screaming earlier. I wince because it must have really been very painful.
"Who?" I ask, too busy staring at his lips as he speaks to actually listen to what he's saying.
"Rukia. You loved her."
I notice that it isn't a question. But why is he bringing this up now?
Besides I never... I don't...
Or at least I did.
I liked Rukia.
Really, really, really. Its why I took six fucking months to slowly gain her trust and virginity.
I never told her I loved her, because, well, I didn't... but there was this one day that was just so perfect and I was just so happy.
Maybe for that day I really did love Rukia.
"Thats why... I never said anything." I look up at Grimmjow who is observing me; his mouth is stretched into a grim smile and he even laughs a little. But I notice something I never noticed before.
The way Grimmjow's eyes roam my face. The way he looks at me; the way he looks at me and actually sees me.
Then I realise he's always known how I feel about him.
However instead of getting angry with him for messing me about I feel my face collapse in astound.
"Thats why... I never said anything."
Grimmjow never said anything... he never approached me for anything other than sex, he never kissed me with too much heat and he never touched me with too much tenderness because he wanted me to be happy with Rukia?
Is this some shit like he wants me to be 'happy with who I really love' type thing?
I mean is this shit for real?
"What gives you the right to do that?" I ask, feeling the fury rise in me like sick. "What gives you the fucking right to decide who I love and who I should be with? From day one, ok, Rukia was great, but I wanted you to rip her off me and take me for yourself! I love-"
Suddenly I'm thirteen years old and blushing like a retard.
"It's always been you."
I haven't really done that much. I got so angry about Grimmjow making me start everything, but what's wrong with that? He was only too scared to do it himself. But if he is, he should tell me next time he's afraid. I am his best friend after all.
Grimmjow then does something that tells me he really does love me more than anything.
He tugs my hand and pulls me down into a hug. I laugh at how odd we're acting but as he squeezes me to him, I feel all the hurt and anger seep out of me. It's gone.
I sigh and suddenly I'm boneless, sinking into his shape and we fit together. I feel his breath on my neck and the relief that everything is fine now almost brings me to tears.
Well, I say fine, but where do we go from here?
I mean we've clarified that we're pretty much in love, but that doesn't mean things will get easier. There's no grey area now, which is a relief. I know where I stand. I belong to Grimmjow and belongs to me.
But to actually pull off a relationship?
Grimmjow snores and takes up a whole double bed. Not to mention he loves coconut and I'm allergic to it and his weird habit of bringing fruit to eat with him when he's in the shower. Also he's so fussy about his vegetables...
I hear a low chuckle.
"What?" I ask Grimmjow, pulling away and questioning his sudden outburst.
"Nothing." He says. "I'm just thinking about how I'm going to have to give up eating coconut now, aren't I?"
I scowl at him. "Not unless you want my face to expand and my throat to close up."
"Of course I don't!" Grimmjow winks at me and I frown at the tiniest hint of sarcasm in his voice.
I open my mouth to warn him about how serious my allergy is - last time I ate some chocolate with coconut in it, he gave it to me and he just laughed until I started to go purple – but he shuts me up with a kiss.
We both agreed it was fun fooling the world. Making them think that we're just ordinary. That we're stupid; that we really are as dumb as we look.
However I'd sooner expect my own shoe to betray me before Grimmjow ever would. I trust him more than gravity.
"Mmm..." He groans quietly against my mouth. "Coconut..."
I smack him away in the blink of an eye but when I see his shit-eating grin and hear his cackling laughter, I realise he's just fucking with me.
I scowl afresh but don't bat him away when he leans over to kiss me again; this time he pulls back my head and devours my mouth, kissing my lips until they are bruised, and melting my heart as if it were an ice cube held up to the sun.
Woo! The end at last! I might add another chapter – a sort of epilogue – but that will be when I can be bothered as work is killing me right now and I'm eager to get onto a new little something I've been working on ;)
Thanks to everyone who has supported and enjoyed this story :) I actually appreciate it so, so much and I love everyone – you know who you are, you awesome people – who have helped me and fed me confidence. I couldn't have asked for anything more. I love you guys! :D